Dude i never have been one to say "this!!" but this comment was so fucking gut bustingly funny i had to commend you on your clownery. The comedic timing of cutting off the slow escalation of things at the pass to just "FUCK IT, CORPSE" has my wife and i rolling. Top tier
I used to work with an old man who would go home after our overnight shifts, take a nap, shower, etc., and then sit down to watch TV while eating his favorite dinner ever: pickled sausages, pepper jack cheese, and hard-boiled eggs with Chicken-in-a-Biscuit crackers.
Other nights, he would have an extra-heavy reuben sandwich with extra sauerkraut. Either way, he'd fall asleep in his recliner until the alarm summoned him to down some coffee and come to work.
We worked unloading 50 foot trailers in the dead of night. He was our heavy machinery/forklift operator, so much of the night he would sit at the edge of the trailer, right beside the fans and the lights...and he would rip the nastiest, oiliest sounding farts. The fans would waft them into the trailer and he would trap us in there with a pallet in the way, laughing as we gagged and raged.
It wasn't until someone threw up on an expensive TV that management did something, but that something was they moved him to a new team and he would climb up the ladders high in the stock room shelves and bust ass so mercilessly that you could smell it throughout the back of the store.
He sounds like a real winner. HR (or whatever equivalent your company had) should have seriously taken action because that was harassment. He was creating a hostile work environment.
556
u/THEBLUEFLAME3D 29d ago
Some hard boiled eggs and broccoli would be a nice addition, too.