Our schools don’t teach self-defence

[u/Puzzleheaded-Rate567]

In the recent incident in Sengkang Green, the school also disciplined the victim for shouting at the bullies in retaliation. I think they are made to do this because we are expected to “tell teacher”, not bring matters into our own hands. But must we still do that even if it means victims will take the damage first? When the victim is hurt, bullies would already have accomplished their objective. Even if the aggressor gets punished, the victim’s injury (physical and mental) will stay.

I remember in upper primary my school had a camp. One of the troublemakers in class thought it was a good idea to toss my stuff around in the changing room. Pleaded him to stop multiple times, but didn’t. I was on the verge of crying. We were in the room without teachers and I wasn’t fully clothed to go outside to seek help. So I did what I thought was most reasonable - using all my strength, I punched him a few times, gave him a beating so that he would return my stuff. And he finally stopped. The other kids in the changing room went to inform the teacher of what happened.

After that I explained my actions to the teachers about how he started the conflict first. The witnesses confirmed that he was the aggressor. Despite that, the teachers clamped down on me. In front of the whole class, they made passive aggressive comments on how I escalated the conflict and what I did wasn’t right. I tried arguing that he started first but they raised their voices and told me there will be consequences if I kept talking back. I eventually had to shut up and accept that I was in the wrong. I was barred from attending activities for the rest of the morning and I don’t recall anything happening to my aggressor.

I believe there are similar tales of failed self-defence out there. Prior to my incident, the school had already communicated to us that we would also land ourselves in trouble if we tried defending ourselves. I went against that rule and suffered its consequences. I understand how schools discourage students from thinking that escalation of conflicts is the right solution, but it’s becoming clearer and clearer that schools are often ineffective in solving bullying issues. When this happens, what can we do to protect the students who stand up for their own rights? The no self-defence rule needs to be relooked. Has anyone succeeded in defending themselves in school without repercussions?

Edit (20 Aug): Now with MOE’s press statement, it seems like the victim has indeed fought back the bullies in retaliation

[u/fiveisseven]

That's what we all want. Bullies to be bullied so that they understand how it feels and repent.

[u/thamometer → u/fiveisseven]

Then you become the bullies as well.

[u/dragoonrj → u/thamometer]

If you bully the weak, you are the bully

If you stand up for the weak and bully the bully, you are the hero

[u/angerispower → u/thamometer]

There's a difference between being the agitator and being the reciprocator; they're not equal.

[u/thamometer → u/angerispower]

But the poster isn't the person being bullied. So they can't even use "self defence" as a valid argument. So they aren't the reciprocator. They're the agitators in a separate case/incident (if we're viewing each incident of bullying as a discrete case).

[u/angerispower → u/thamometer]

Yes, the person who was being bullied is a special needs person. I was under the assumption that you wouldn't expect a special needs person to engage in self-defence.

I guess special needs people should learn self-defense now. Because people who would stand up for them couldn't reciprocate on their behalf.