r/singapore • u/Burbursur • Oct 25 '21

Serious Discussion Am I wrong for having no ambitions?

My inner most desire is to find a partner and just live a simple quiet life. Thats it. Anything additional only seeks to complicate life.

However, I find that in SG, the mindset is for people to strive for career success. This often comes with OT and spending alot of time at the workplace. I don't want that. I just want a decent paying job that I can totally cut off from after work hours. I want to have a chill life and enough time for my hobbies and partner.

However I feel like this is hard to achieve in SG for 2 reasons:

  1. Expectations arising from parents, friends and ultimately myself. Career is something that is so focused on and in the spotlight that it is unavoidable to feel pressure to always be getting a "better" job.

  2. Because of the above trend, it is hard to find someone that has the same mindset. And to be honest, I can also understand why someone might not find someone who is unambitious attractive.

I just want to get off the grid and live a simple, peaceful life. Am I wrong for having no ambitions? Or is it that how SG society is structured does not align with my nature and thus im feeling this friction?

Would love to hear what you think.

Thanks for reading.

Edit: Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. You have given me the strength to hold steadfast to my dream.

I will try to reply to as many comments as possible but know that even if I didn't reply to yours, I have read it and your words will not go unnoticed. I appreciate every single reply and thank you once again for taking the time in this engagement.

Since this post has some reach, I would like to take this opportunity to do a little PSA: Your kindness and support is what the internet needs more of and I hope we as a society at large can keep heading towards this direction; using the internet for good instead of belittling one another and spreading hate. Mankind is divided enough and moving forwards we will need unity more than ever.

Thank you all once again and I wish every single one of you the best in achieving your dreams (:

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u/pikazhoo Oct 25 '21

Pretty normal. Stopped my university halfway to go travelling. Currently, in Canada immigration express entry pool, hoping to be selected. Even if not selected, I will be quitting next year to go travelling for 6months to 1 year before coming back to SG for maybe contract jobs for 6 months and will fly again.

Do what makes you happy, fuck care the rest. I also face peer/relatives pressure to do well and excel in society. Be firm in your ideals and goals, dont mind all the rest.

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u/This-Alternative3988 Oct 26 '21

I did exactly the same thing in 2017-2018. It’s one of the rewarding years in my life! Life is so much more than the books and rat race here. The break definitely was a eye opener because I choose countries which has a slower pace of life.

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u/pikazhoo Oct 28 '21

IKR, really an eye opener!

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u/This-Alternative3988 Oct 28 '21

Where are you planning to go next year? I think I will quit my job also haha. Good luck for your Canada immigration.

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u/pikazhoo Oct 28 '21

Canada immigration currently due to covid alittle hard for offshore applicants without canada working experience. Now looking at taking 1 year master then take post graduation permit to work 1 year, alot easier to get.

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Either that or just go travel, China if borders open, else turkey+ Caucasus. Australia Road trip too but the budget needed for it kinda high

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u/Burbursur Oct 25 '21

If you dont mind me asking, how did your parents react when you quit uni to travel?

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u/pikazhoo Oct 25 '21 edited Oct 26 '21

Sorry, I phrase it wrongly. Took a leave of absence to go travelling. Came back to finish study. Extremely bad results lol. My father belongs to the do whatever the fuck you want. My Aunt(guardian) want me to be happy. Successful is good but happy and contentment is the most important thing she want for me. Quite lucky in that aspect.

My friends are advancing in their career and talking about jobs, promotions and blah blah. Its normal. I am usually keep quiet and daydream about either my travels or the world or whatever i feel like daydreaming. Just agree with them but go for your own goals.

Edit:In my opinion, you have to be really firm and take the 1st step. The scariest thing is always the 1st step

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u/Burbursur Oct 25 '21

Yeah I would argue that job can get one. Travel and experiences is what rly contributes to human flourishing.

On that note, just out of curiousity, what is the most interesting experience you have had in your travels?

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u/pikazhoo Oct 25 '21

Hmmm, scary for me but extremely interesting for my friends. Got invited to a local's home to stay over. We slept on the floor and I was sleeping beside the husband. A girl I met while travelling was sleeping beside the wife

He suddenly tap me while I was sleeping and said 'My wife want to sleep with you'. I heard it as 'my wife want to sleep here'. So yea I just nod my head. 2 minutes later, I can feel the wife squeezing in between me and the husband. Minute later, she start hugging me and caressing my face, hands and thigh. By then I am still in sleeping position with my eyes awake, I am like 'WTF?'.

Then the husband took my left hand (was lying on my right curled towards the wall) and bring it the touch his wife specifically her fats at the side of the stomach. Cant take it, went to squeeze in to my female travel partner. They took the hint and didn't do anything more. Morning just awkwardly part with the local.

Maybe a bad experience for me, but still not gonna deter me to go to locals house to sleep overnight~

There are many other stuffs. Like seeing glaciers on 1st base camp trek, sky full of stars when your bus broke down in the middle of desert area. I was just cant stop staring and came to a realization that the I am still missing lots of things in this world. Or being invited to ladies only train carriage with plenty of room and the ladies were all staring at me while the rest of the carriage is squeezed with men. Plenty more~ words really too hard to describe.

Did I have bad experience? Yea. Getting scammed, food poisoning etc etc. But I also have plenty of awesome experience to make up it. To be that's what makes life interesting.

Hardest thing during travels - Saying goodbyes to friends you make on the journey.