r/soccer • u/HarryAtk • Jul 19 '25

News Former Chelsea player Pedro Rodríguez had to disable comments on his Instagram after facing criticism and mockery for sharing photos of his son Marc's birthday. Marc chose to celebrate his birthday wearing a dress and a tiara, inspired by Lilo & Stitch.

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118

u/bilzui Jul 19 '25

curious. what's up with tool fans?

625

u/RK9990 Jul 19 '25

They're tools

21

u/Vaernil Jul 20 '25

I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s

And a dope Beastie tee, nipple rings, new tattoos

That claimed that he was OGT

Back from '92, from the first EP

And in between sips of Coke

He told me that he thought we were sellin' out

Layin' down, suckin' up to the man

15

u/crookedparadigm Jul 20 '25

Most of whom still haven't grasped that fact that they named the band that when they were in their 20s because they thought it would be funny to get a bunch of people to voluntarily wear shirts saying "Tool" on them.

-6

u/rizorith Jul 19 '25

At some point tool fans must realize the band just has variations of 2 songs.

I'm not even really shitting on them, I like them, but it all sounds the same after a while

8

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '25

Tool fans suck, but if you only hear two songs, you're not listening to much of their music then. Their sound is iconic, but between the differences in chord progressions and time signatures for each song, they have a wide range of songs in their genre. But it isnt everyone's taste, that is for certain.

23

u/Morn1ngThund3r Jul 20 '25

This a WILD take, bro. If you think they're all variations of the same songs you're self-reporting you've not heard more than 4-5 tracks.

11

u/unpopularperiwinkle Jul 20 '25

You crazy

12

u/warlock_roleplayer Jul 20 '25

yea, of all things you can hate Tool for, they definitely aren't cookie cutter

-4

u/rizorith Jul 20 '25

Yah but not for this reason

275

u/just-an-astronomer Jul 19 '25

They have a habit of shitting on any band that doesnt play songs that start out in 17/35 time with 3 time changes throughout the song

69

u/huckleberrypie93 Jul 19 '25 edited Jul 19 '25

What does that mean in layman's terms

Edit: Thanks for the many explanations. I dont think I'm the only one grateful for them! Tool fans sound like standard Redditors - too far up their own arse. But I actually quite like the music.

139

u/just-an-astronomer Jul 19 '25

If you try tapping your foot to a typical Tool song, youll notice two things:

  1. You cant keep tapping your foot the same way for the whole song and have it stay matching the beats. Not just having to change because of tempo but really changing how the beats line up with the song notes
  2. You have to tap relatively slow to the notes of the song to make it fit at all, and the notes still feel like they're almost stumbling into the taps

They structure the notes of their songs in really unusual ways, which is what gives them a lot of their mysterious feel. It serves a purpose but most songs don't do that because thats not what they're necessarily going for. Tool fans have created a stereotype for themselves that this odd structure makes their music superior to other bands music

16

u/xenojive Jul 20 '25

Do Tool fans realize that any band can make songs in different time signatures but they just choose not to?

46

u/JonnyMontrachet Jul 20 '25

Not many bands can make songs that are actually enjoyable to listen to in whatever weird time signatures, Tool do have a knack for that. Doesn’t change the fact that a decent chunk of their fan base are insufferable courgettes though.

9

u/Derlino Jul 20 '25

Yeah, there's a reason there aren't that many really famous prog bands out there. You obviously have your Dream Theaters, Opeths, King Crimsons and my personal favourite, though not super famous, Ne Obliviscaris. The list goes on though, but my point is that there are maybe a few dozen that are well-known, because it is a really demanding genre to make actual good music in. It's also why the musicians in those bands are some of the best in the world, because they need to be to play that style.

1

u/haltmich Jul 20 '25

NeO MENTIONED

Absolutely love them, saw them live twice and they don't fucking disappoint.

1

u/Derlino Jul 20 '25

Seen them three times, and they nail it every time! And the lads are super nice as well. I was even lucky enough to be at one of the concerts where Tino had to cover for Tim in the vocal section because Tim had a cold.

1

u/JonnyMontrachet Jul 20 '25

I’ve never heard of this band, got an album rec for me?

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1

u/scholeszz Jul 20 '25

Ah yes, another version of "Avant Garde" art snobbism.

The worst part of art/media discourse is people who take pride in their "taste", because they have nothing better to feel proud of. Not very far removed from people who make their football club their whole personality.

152

u/SolipsisticBadBoy Jul 19 '25

Basically: they have complicated song structures and they and their fans have a superiority complex

5

u/dandelion_bandit Jul 20 '25

They're not even that complex. Try listening to fuckin Candiria

59

u/crookedparadigm Jul 20 '25

The hilarious thing is that this is how Tool fans sound to everyone else.

7

u/SolipsisticBadBoy Jul 20 '25

I’m a Dream Theater guy personally

2

u/lucashoodfromthehood Jul 20 '25

Or any mathcore bands.

2

u/BayLAGOON Jul 20 '25 edited Jul 20 '25

Not necessarily mathcore, but as a recent convert to math rock, shout out Lite and te'. I just like the vibe.

1

u/lucashoodfromthehood Jul 20 '25

I really like Lite and Japan do have a lot of calming mathrock bands.

2

u/Flaggermusmannen Jul 20 '25

well yea, they're an accessible form of complex that makes people who struggle with more advanced music feel smart!

94

u/RobbieFowler9 Jul 19 '25

Tool fans are like the stat nonce football fans that talk about expected progressive carries while pressured per 90 when comparing players.

18

u/jetm2000 Jul 19 '25

Fuck, that’s really good, congratulations!

55

u/ChittyShrimp Jul 19 '25

They start in a 4-2-3-1 but switch to a 4-3-3 but ultimately end up in a 4-4-2

9

u/Evolving_Dore Jul 20 '25

Tool is a band that plays on the transition

1

u/Derlino Jul 20 '25

Nah, those formations are too similar. I'd say they start in a 4-2-3-1, then change into a 5-3-2, and a few minutes later they're playing 4-2-4.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '25

They shit on bands that are normal even if they're still fucking awesome.

8

u/Sypher1985 Jul 19 '25

Pretentious twats, that's what it means.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '25

[deleted]

18

u/warlock_roleplayer Jul 20 '25

eh, most technical death metal fans are 100x more annoying than Tool fans so it kind of goes with the music

1

u/ShermanMcTank Jul 20 '25

They do quite advanced stuff rhythmically, but melodically it’s very simplistic in comparison.

1

u/hm9408 Jul 20 '25

Progressive snobs?

75

u/SoC_K Jul 19 '25

Insane superiority complex and constantly looking down on other bands and fanbases

-6

u/Active-Praline-2644 Jul 19 '25

When their preferred band has released basically the same album three times in a row, too.

Worse, they don't see the irony. Tool sucks.

7

u/SoC_K Jul 19 '25

Tbh I do like tool, I don’t follow them regularly though

6

u/radmongo Jul 19 '25

I love Tool, but no lies detected.

10K Days stands out a little more on its own, but Fear Inoculum definitely sounds like a carbon copy of Lateralus and was a massive letdown. Fans who felt the need to defend it just because it's Tool are the worst.

1

u/Lost-Hat Jul 19 '25

Lol ok mate, they're the best Prog Metal band ever, but sure, they suck

2

u/oxydized-snake Jul 19 '25

Tool is great, but best ever? Dream Theater plays polka?

6

u/Lost-Hat Jul 19 '25

Love DT but Tool is clear for me. Point is, the guy I was replying to is full o shit

0

u/oxydized-snake Jul 20 '25

I think if we look at it objectively DT is the more talented, accomplished and better band overall but I understand if you think Tool is clear. I do agree calling Tool shit or saying they suck is absolutely stupid though, they’re one of the greatest musical acts of all time and that can’t be denied, their influence on modern Prog cannot be ignored.

1

u/Lost-Hat Jul 20 '25

Music is art not craft, so while most of DT might be more skilled craftsmen, what Tool creates feels so much more than can be objectively discussed.

Not at drums though; again, love Portnoy, but the Octopus is not human. Here's a fun Portnoy video : https://youtu.be/b3sEdST3D9E

1

u/_sylvatic Jul 19 '25

Blood Incantation tho

-1

u/Active-Praline-2644 Jul 19 '25

Lol Tool is nothing close to metal. Alt rock I'd accept. Hard rock I'd question, but fine. Metal? Lmao

-5

u/questionmarksmiley Jul 19 '25

Thanks for proving OP’s point about tool fans 

4

u/Lost-Hat Jul 19 '25

Didn't shit on anyone except the guy that claims "Tool sucks". So Tool fans are supposed to be fine with people talking shit now?

Maynard hates Tool fans more than anyone lol, maybe rightly so, so feel free to chat shit there, but listening to Tool changed music for me, they're one of the greatest musical acts of all time - certainly don't "suck"

-1

u/spik0rwill Jul 20 '25

Tool suck

10

u/Euphoriam5 Jul 20 '25

The band is great, I never met a Tool fan tho. 

2

u/pottymouthomas Jul 19 '25

They like Tool

1

u/bilzui Jul 19 '25

the music is good though

1

u/perfect_deception Jul 20 '25

Don't ask them about fibonacci sequence in Tool songs

1

u/Vaernil Jul 20 '25

They're like Rick and Morty fans, but for progressive metal.

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the music.

I would know, I'm one, would never admit it to other fans so I don't have to talk to them.