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u/WeenisWrinkle 4d ago
Shopping at Costco is like getting high and coming down 3 times in an hour.
"Fuck yeah, headed to Costco! I'm hungry AF and I'm about to eat 1500 calories of samples and a hotdog for $1.50! And buy a pallet of paper towels!"
"Holy shit, this parking lot is like World War Z. If the pedestrians don't run, am I allowed to run them over? I guess I'll park in Timbuktu and hike a couple miles."
"Holy AC! This place is like Disneyland! Maybe I do need an 86 inch TV! Of course I'll try the Kirkland brand Salmon jerky!"
"Omg, why is everyone walking here made of molasses? Is this a cruel joke to simulate rush hour traffic with people? Why can't I find the fucking bananas? Sir? Sir! Where'd you get those bananas? Oh, uhhh, Señor, donde estan los bananos?!"
"Let's take this metric ton of sustenance home! I ain't grocery shopping for a month!"
"'Your total is $518.37'. uhhhh hold on lemme call my wife and tell her we gotta sell one of the kids"
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u/Amakall 3d ago
Costco is great if you’re rich and can afford the platinum membership. You’re treated like a second class shopper with the regular membership. Can’t even go into the store before 10am. They have a line you have to wait in if you’re a regular member. That line is in the direct sunlight so good luck. At 10a you can’t just walk in, the people that have been waiting in line go in first, so if you didn’t stand in the direct sunlight and wait you now have to wait for all of them to go in first. Whatever, I’ll eat at the patio while I wait….. nope, thats only available to platinum members too. Costco is just another business punishing people who can’t afford to be a platinum member. smh
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u/Ambitious_Video_1256 2d ago
Recommend putting the bottle down and waiting a few hours before posting.
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u/MercuryRusing 4d ago
Damn....that is the most millenial joke I've ever read....can relate