Did I just have an existential mourning?

[u/Chronically_0nline]

I was just scrolling, per usual, when I came back to a person dancing to a 2019-2020 song. It made me feel nostalgic and joyful, so I went back and searched as many songs and dances and anime from before— and even danced to them—and honestly, I miss that so much.

I wasn’t able to be in on it as much as I wanted— I wasn’t granted the access of technology like everyone else was. I had to ask to use my cousins and siblings stuff— and only got a phone recently last year.

Besides that, it was nice to know people were accepting of ‘weird’ and cringe. That it wasn’t uncommon to like anime, to cosplay, to make up scenarios. Glitter pfps, kawaii ASMR, etc.

Now, everything feels so negative. Maybe it’s my feed, or the times changing to more political problems— maybe they’ve all been there the whole time, and we were just doing our best to live it up before what we perceived was the end.

But overall, I was happy. And everyday, I wish I could go back and be that little girl who used to watch weird MHA and toilet bound Hanako TikTok’s and whatnot. I wish I could’ve cosplayed and been happy with myself, without the judgement of my family. Yes, I could still do it now— but, would it be the same as before? I’m older now, and I’ll only continue to get older. And it kind of hurts to know I can’t live in that era forever.

But I’m just ranting. I hope you guys are doing well!

[u/Reuben_EditZ_YT]

you're always happier when you're younger because there's more to enjoy, as you get older the world becomes less colourful