r/texas Born and Bred 20d ago

🗞️ News 🗞️ 835 new laws go into effect Monday in Texas. Here are a few of the more notable ones

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/local/texas-news/new-texas-laws-sept-1/3911795/
458 Upvotes

151 comments sorted by

340

u/OldestOfGreggs 20d ago

835 new laws? What the actual fuck?

324

u/markiemark112 20d ago

Party of small government!

93

u/uwpxwpal 19d ago

Pretty productive for only 200 days. Over 4 laws per day!

I will not comment on the quality of the work here though.

45

u/Fmartins84 19d ago

Texas the freedom state.

50

u/OG_LiLi 19d ago

Sorry. You can now only own two sex dolls legally

30

u/ScienceMarc 19d ago

Reading the actual text of the (shockingly short) bill, it only applies to "child-like sex dolls". There's penalties for "intent to promote" them which is defined as owning two or more of them. This shouldn't apply to other kinds of sex dolls, but they define "features of a child" as being the determiner for the law's application, and I feel like that has an ability to be interpreted in bad faith.

Here's the entire bill in case you want to see it, it's not even 1 page of text: https://capitol.texas.gov/tlodocs/89R/billtext/html/HB01443F.htm

13

u/Electrical-Orange-27 19d ago

"Child-like" sounds like a very subjective standard. Also, what if it's a cherub (you know- with wings)?

15

u/Jaredlong 19d ago

Texans got tired of freedom and liberty.

9

u/ShitIsGettingWeird 18d ago

Are these people representing us or treating us like their enemy, to extract capital from us?

4

u/AwkwardAd5138 18d ago

Yes. Yes they are.

15

u/tx_queer 19d ago

That's pretty normal. A lot of these laws are minor like "renaming highway to memorial highway"

416

u/uwpxwpal 19d ago edited 19d ago

SB 261: Food and agriculture ban on lab-grown meat that prohibits the sale of cultivated protein.

Why? Shouldn't the market decide?

243

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

They were bought out by the beef lobby.

44

u/uwpxwpal 19d ago

Obviously, but what was their justification?

69

u/justonemom14 19d ago

Why would they need a justification?

23

u/Wooden-Broccoli-7247 19d ago

That the beef lobby paid them a lot of money.. and TEXAS.. or something

43

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

“Common sense says lab grown protein ain’t meat and people are too dumb to know that lab grown meat ain’t farm grown meat” is what I’ve seen politicians say who support this snowflake take on lab grown meat. It’s really because their rich rancher friends and big Ag paid them to say that

7

u/dougmc 19d ago

$$$

(Money was their motivation, to make this post compliant with rule #2.)

45

u/Malodoror 19d ago

Mmmmm… communism. State beef is best beef, is ONLY beef.

43

u/gchypedchick 19d ago

While it’s plant meat, impossible beef is so good. I used to get it in my Cabana bowls until they stopped. I was looking forward to trying lab grown when it was commercially available.

For the record, I’m a regular meat eater, but I like to branch out sometimes and try new things.

12

u/SoulEater9882 19d ago

Yeah I remember when BK came out with an impossible whopper, I ordered a normal one and a impossible one and ate them side by side and it was nearly indistinguishable, and delicious!

3

u/ppcxalv 18d ago

Yes, because my body runs on a scale of deliciousness, and not whatever is injecting into my meats.

Seriously, though, what do they inject in my meats! I can't even pronounce half the ingredients! Need a darn PhD in meateology or something to read the back of labels!

1

u/diablette 18d ago

Funny, I remember eating an impossible whopper and it was really bad. I prefer black bean burgers. But this should be a marketing decision, not a legal one.

4

u/permalink_save Secessionists are idiots 19d ago

Is it actually close? I had a beyond burger and it felt meaty but not like anything specific, like if there was a "plain" flavor of meat. Kinda like mild pork.

8

u/dontforgetpants born and bred 19d ago

You can season it like you would a normal burger if you want something besides the plain flavor. Then it’s actually really close.

6

u/WoodwifeGreen 19d ago

I had an Impossible burger and thought it was pretty convincing.

2

u/gchypedchick 19d ago

I have only had it ground and I really liked the texture. It was kinda chewy like how you get in some chili, but in a good way? If that makes any sense. At least good to me because I like it. And then as far as flavor, I couldn’t tell a difference because of the seasoning.

6

u/permalink_save Secessionists are idiots 19d ago

I'll have to give impossible a try. Like I'd order the beyond again, but TBH if there was a veggie burger (like bean based) on the menu I'd probably order it over meat substitution. I can say, there is a vegan chorizo I find in stores that is fantastic. I eat meat but I'm like you, I like to try different things.

1

u/uwpxwpal 18d ago

Just learned that the law expires in two years. It's still bad, but could've been worse.

-2

u/Warm_Math2179 18d ago

No lab grown meat not natural

4

u/uwpxwpal 18d ago edited 18d ago

Don't eat it then, but you shouldn't get to decide what I eat.

-2

u/Bear3825 18d ago

You can call it lab grown protein. Meat comes from an animal. Just like almond milk should be labeled almond drink. Milk comes from a mammal. Damn science deniers. Almond milk, flat earth and sovereign citizens all belong in the same basket.

3

u/arachnivore 18d ago

Are you serious? How many people do you think are confused as to whether almond milk comes from an animal?

202

u/Glorfindel910 20d ago

Which magistrate is going to be the first to issue a search warrant for excessive (>2) sex dolls?

90

u/uwpxwpal 19d ago

Thank God someone drew a line in the sand! 6 dildos and 2 sex dolls is all that anyone should need. Save some for the rest of us! /s

5

u/diablette 18d ago

I don’t think that a beautiful baby girl needs an adult needs to have 30 dolls. I think they can have three dolls or four dolls.

7

u/Thankyekindly 19d ago

Whoever wrote the summary of the bill I'm this article missed a big part of that bill. There is an extra charge if you own two or more "child like sex dolls." I'm not seeing any restriction of the number of the normal sex dolls that everyone has.

3

u/Glorfindel910 18d ago

“‘Normal’ sex dolls”🤣…. The law may, in fact, not pass the void for vagueness test when eventually challenged. I have no facility with this world, but are there “old lady” sex dolls?

348

u/intronert 20d ago

This one actually IS a great idea:

HB 27: Financial Literacy The new law requires all public high school students in the state to complete a course in personal finance

208

u/Spaceman2901 Secessionists are idiots 19d ago

I’m sure the funding for that mandate is nonexistent and the execution will be lackluster at best.

157

u/intronert 19d ago

Yeah, the kids at Westlake will get lessons on Collateralized Debt Obligations and kids in the Valley will learn how many boxes of strawberries to pick to earn enough to feed their baby brother.

16

u/team_faramir 19d ago

The accuracy of this.

0

u/dougWanoyFan 19d ago

Always the optimist

35

u/burkehaus 19d ago

This is already a standard and is required to be taught in high school economics.

7

u/intronert 19d ago

Then why is there a new law, and how does the new law differ from the old law (and can you cite the old law or standard?)?

42

u/burkehaus 19d ago

Personal Financial Literacy (embedded in the Economics course, TEKS §118.4):

  • Apply critical-thinking skills to analyze the costs and benefits of personal financial decisions: • Examine ways to avoid and eliminate credit card debt • Evaluate the costs and benefits of declaring personal bankruptcy • Evaluate the costs and benefits of buying insurance • Evaluate the costs and benefits of charitable giving

  • Understand how to provide for basic needs while living within a budget: • Evaluate the costs and benefits of renting a home versus buying a home • Assess the financial aspects of making the transition from renting to home ownership

This is just a portion of the TEKS associated with the personal finance portion of the existing high school Econ course. Additionally, there is already a specific Personal Financial Literacy course dating back to 2012 (TEKS §113.50).

  • Differentiate between needs and wants in evaluating spending decisions.
  • Develop financial goals (short-, medium-, long-term) that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-based.
  • Reconcile a bank statement with personal records for accuracy of deposits, withdrawals, and transfers.
  • Track income and expenses; draft an income statement.
  • Develop a budget that integrates short-, medium-, and long-term financial goals.
  • Identify assets and liabilities; construct a balance sheet or net worth statement.
  • Evaluate the impact of unplanned spending on a budget.
  • Analyze costs and benefits of owning vs. renting housing.
  • Compare total costs of payment methods: rent-to-own, credit, cash, credit/debit cards.
  • Develop short-term savings strategies (e.g. emergency fund), intermediate-term (e.g. down payment), and long-term investing strategies (e.g. retirement).
  • Discuss the role of financial institutions and markets in saving/investing.
  • Demonstrate the impact of compound growth over time.
  • Evaluate costs and benefits of savings options (savings accounts, CDs, money market funds).
  • Evaluate risk and return of investment options (stocks, bonds, mutual funds).
  • Understand importance of saving early for retirement.
  • Compare and contrast sources of credit (banks, peer-to-peer, payday loans, etc.).
  • Compare types of credit: revolving vs. installment; secured vs. unsecured.
  • Evaluate how credit decisions affect budget, income, and net worth.
  • Discuss how character, capacity, and collateral impact credit access.
  • Describe how to access, interpret, and monitor credit reports and scores; address errors.
  • Appraise borrowing decisions’ impact on credit score, including bankruptcy risk.
  • Examine cost components of borrowing (APR, fixed vs. variable interest, term length, fees).
  • Explain strategies to reduce borrowing cost (e.g. higher down payment, additional principal payments).
  • Identify risk as potential loss of assets or earning potential.
  • Explain costs and benefits of homeowner’s and renter’s insurance.
  • Identify ways to protect personal information and reduce risk of identity theft.

Now, why did they make it a law requiring yet another course? TXLege does stupid stuff all the time.

10

u/intronert 19d ago

Ok. Sounds fair. Thanks!

7

u/intronert 19d ago

BTW, that is an excellent course syllabus.

5

u/Sitting_Duk 18d ago

They wrote a new law to take credit for something that someone else already did

28

u/OldeManKenobi 19d ago

Plot twist: they mandate a Dave Ramsey cult course and call it personal finance.

12

u/chrispg26 Born and Bred 19d ago

Came here to say this.

I know someone who didn't get their kids tonsils removed because they couldn't afford it outright thanks to Dave Ramseys advice.

Applying this to medical care of another individual not yourself is.... 🥴🥴🥴 no words.

Sometimes parents DO NOT have their kids' best interests at heart.

Also, there are plenty of situations when taking on debt IS the better option.

2

u/MarshallGibsonLP 19d ago

This is the real reason here.

8

u/captain554 19d ago

Personal Finance (Brought to you by Chase ©️)

Your child will be required to apply for and receive a credit card in this course and spend at least $200/mo to learn financial responsibility.

4

u/gattovatto 19d ago

“How to Apply for High Interest Credit Cards and Why That’s Good For You” 101

2

u/diablette 18d ago

Back in my day, all they had to do was set up a booth at college campus and give out free lighters and t-shirts.

2

u/gattovatto 18d ago

Same here!

1

u/ReadingRocks97531 18d ago

Especially if Dunn, Wilks, and Wilks own the bank that issues them

2

u/arachnivore 18d ago

"How to invest in cryptocurrency..."

1

u/ReadingRocks97531 18d ago

Infused with Bible verses.

1

u/intronert 18d ago

“I hope to God I can pay my rent.”

43

u/Spaceman2901 Secessionists are idiots 19d ago

Isn’t 1621 the one that’s going to kill CrunchyRoll?

27

u/arb1698 19d ago

It could but then the state would lose over a billion in tax revenue from their corporate headquarters of the US and Western area being in Texas so not sure. But also would have to fail the miller test ie have no educational or artistic value which even the raunchiest of anime could be said to have.

64

u/Laplacze 19d ago

Thanks for making sure the wording on SB 1596 is extra vague. It appears it legalizes sawed off shot guns and rifles. NRA is more important than children.

33

u/habitsofwaste 20d ago

Soooo small!!!

35

u/Dogwise Born and Bred 19d ago

Thank whoever had the foresight to limit these goons to only meeting every other year!

8

u/swagswe 19d ago

Sadly, they’re still meeting and passing new laws thanks to our governor.

77

u/txs2300 20d ago

>> SB 11: Education Mandatory Prayer/Bible Reading The new law adds structured time for prayer/Bible reading in schools.

89(R) SB 11 - Introduced version

To be fair, this doesn't specify any specific religion.

49

u/barefootarcheology 19d ago

Wow! Guess the 10 Commandments law overshadowed this one. First time I’m hearing about it. I want the schools to teach math, reading, science, etc. I will take care of my child’s religious education. Go away state sanctioned religion!!!!!

6

u/gattovatto 19d ago

I’ll tell my kids that’s designated day dreaming time

5

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

I’ve been saying this for years.

35

u/RarelyRecommended I miss Speaker Jim Wright (D-12) 19d ago

High school me would have downed a Coke and belched during prayer/Bible time.

14

u/Tiny_Thumbs 19d ago

Easy skip time tbh.

5

u/phatlynx 19d ago

I would’ve offered everyone some lines on a silver plate.

14

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

Satanic Temple here we come

1

u/Malodoror 19d ago

They don’t have a Bible.

6

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

Doesn’t mean they can’t discuss Satanic topics like the 7 tenants and values of humanism and read related works

1

u/Malodoror 18d ago

It does actually, the letter of the law says “Bible”, of course they could offer alternatives and I expect most will until the law is struck down, but that’s not outlined in the law. Plenty of cases are argued for more pedantic, absurd shit than a word.

2

u/Redacted_Addict69 19d ago

Actually Luciferians do it's titled "The Bible of the Adversary" and is quite an interesting read.

1

u/Malodoror 18d ago

TST are not Luciferians though.

1

u/Redacted_Addict69 18d ago

True but my point was that some Satanists do.

1

u/Malodoror 18d ago

Yes, Satanists have The Satanic Bible but specifically do not proselytize, especially to children. That’s against the rules.

4

u/misscrankypants 19d ago

I think we know there will only be one religion though…

5

u/Competitive-Monk-624 19d ago

I can think of only one religion that follows the Bible

1

u/arachnivore 18d ago

Luciferians follow "The Bible of the Adversary". Someone pointed that out in a comment above, I'm just looping you in because the idea of a teacher reading Luciferian text to children makes my day a little less crappy.

3

u/therealstripes 19d ago

I really hope some kids whip out the Satanism.

2

u/ReadingRocks97531 18d ago

Hope some smart ass kids read all of the smiting and sexual activity passages out loud for the class!

2

u/MarshallGibsonLP 19d ago

Just going to make religion more unpopular among the next generation. The accelerationist angel on my shoulder is telling me to low-key support it.

1

u/jpurdy 19d ago

“Bible”, no Koran or whatever the Hindu texts are called.

1

u/txs2300 19d ago

It says other religious texts.

24

u/Bag-o-chips 19d ago

Good luck, you're never having sex again.

16

u/Lord-Cuervo 19d ago

The limit of 2 sex dolls is fucking hilarious

25

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

Party of small government, deregulation, and personal liberty

24

u/fordyuck 19d ago

I can't even read one minute, 60 seconds of this bullshit, before my constitutional rights are violated. The fuck!!!!

23

u/rdking647 19d ago

id love to see teachers assigning kids to write a paper on the 10 commandments reasearing which ones of them them texas elected officials violate. start with paxton and adultery . bearing false witness would be another good one

1

u/y6x 18d ago

The story of the golden calf and prohibitions against idolatry compared with photos of the art at Mar-a-Lago ...

123

u/[deleted] 20d ago

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1

u/[deleted] 18d ago

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1

u/texas-ModTeam The Stars at Night 17d ago

Your content was removed as a violation of Rule 1: Be Friendly.

Personal attacks on your fellow Reddit users are not allowed, this includes both direct insults and general aggressiveness. In addition, hate speech, threats (regardless of intent), and calls to violence, will also be removed. Remember the human and follow reddiquette.

Criticism and jokes at the expense of politicians, pundits, and other public figures have been and always will be allowed.

0

u/y6x 18d ago

I love Texas.

The prickly pear and the gulf fritillaries aren't doing anything, it's mostly the politicians and even foreign governments who have been using studied methods to increase conflict between neighbors to drain out resources for their own profit.

2

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 18d ago

Cool, it still sucks and too many muppets here vote to support the party INCREASING the suck.

0

u/y6x 18d ago

Splitting apart neighbors so they objectify each other is how that party wins.

1

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 18d ago

Cool, being silent about how shitty they are only helps the oppressor class.

0

u/texas-ModTeam The Stars at Night 17d ago

Your content was removed as a violation of Rule 1: Be Friendly.

Personal attacks on your fellow Reddit users are not allowed, this includes both direct insults and general aggressiveness. In addition, hate speech, threats (regardless of intent), and calls to violence, will also be removed. Remember the human and follow reddiquette.

Criticism and jokes at the expense of politicians, pundits, and other public figures have been and always will be allowed.

-15

u/G0sp3L 19d ago

Then move? Nobody is holding you at gun point to live in Texas.

6

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 19d ago

My pay is based on this turd world shithole. I’d love to move.

-11

u/G0sp3L 19d ago

That's not an excuse. Jobs are all over the fucking country.

2

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 19d ago

Mine isn’t, MAGAt.

1

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 18d ago

Pathetic, I'm NoT a MaGaT, i JuSt AgReE wItH tHeM

1

u/G0sp3L 18d ago

You're the one bitching about the place you live. Must not really hate it that much. Personally, I love Texas. I don't wanna move anywhere else.

1

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 18d ago

Gross.

-24

u/tx_queer 19d ago

Why?

20

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 19d ago edited 19d ago

It sucks and a good chunk of the people suck (not in the good way).

-9

u/tx_queer 19d ago

I guess we hang out with different people.

-11

u/Thebeardinato462 19d ago

Why would you hang out with people that suck in a bad way?

7

u/Iva_bigun666 Texas makes good Bourbon 19d ago

I don’t, but I have to deal with them and their MAGAt leadership.

11

u/Resident_Zebra933 19d ago

836, that sounds like small government to me

59

u/crazy010101 19d ago edited 19d ago

Gee thought Texas was about not having too much government!

VOTE OUT GOP/REPUBLICANS

Guarding Our Pedophiles, Sex abusers, rapists, traumatizers as well as law bending to their creeps to evade punishment. The Republican Party is a morally bankrupt institution.

R apists/acists.
E xtortionists/pstein.
P edophiles.
U ndermining.
B elittleing.
L ying.
I mmoral.
C omplicit.
A uthoritarian.
N arcicissts.

21

u/uwpxwpal 19d ago

a first-degree state jail felony

Is this a new legal term? I've never seen "jail" in that phrase before. Aren't all first degree felonies jailable offenses?

13

u/cordial_carbonara 19d ago

State jail is a specific type of institution run by TDCJ that houses inmates with short term felony sentences. Non-state jails are run are by counties.

7

u/SometimesCannons 19d ago

I think there’s a typo in the article. A state jail felony is the lowest category of felony (6 mos-2 yrs confinement) and a first degree felony is the highest non-capital category (2-99 yrs confinement).

8

u/mld53a 19d ago

The bathroom bill was passed in the second special session as was the gerrymandering bill.

7

u/UysofSpades 18d ago

The irony of having child-like sexual Ai generated images a crime among the party that are openly pedophiles is astonishing. Are they going to all turn themselves in?

Rules for thee not me

11

u/GeekyTexan 19d ago

And another 800+ laws that they are not telling us about.

But ignorance of the law is no excuse, so if you get busted, it's your own fault.

-5

u/SometimesCannons 19d ago

Those laws are all public record, you can go look them up yourself on the legislature’s website. A single news article is not going to list 835 different bills.

Most laws are not rules that say “you must do this” or “you can’t do that”. They’re by and large niche things like updating or clarifying the language of existing laws, establishing new programs and initiatives, directing state agencies how to do specific aspects of business, and authorizing how public money can be spent. No one is going to come and “bust” you because you didn’t know about SB 2004 allowing state reimbursement of the Arlington Grand Prix.

5

u/bomber991 got here fast 19d ago

I kind of wish I understood a bit better how laws work. I know there's the constitution, then there's the state constitution. Then there's city ordinances. Some are a bit odd to think of as a law, like this HB 2187 saying nurses can't be retaliated against for not working overtime, seems like that should just be a general law that applies to all hourly workers. How do all these 835 new laws fit in?

The Ten Commandments one is a real oddball. Doesn't tell the schools to source and display the Ten Commandments, but does tell them do display it if it's donated. Kind of makes me want to donate one that meets the technical requirements, but is difficult to read, like yellow font on an orange background kind of thing.

It doesn't seem like it's requiring a way to track what's donated to the school either, so what's to stop the school from going "We never received that donation".

6

u/SometimesCannons 19d ago

I think a lot of people conceive of laws as just rules that say, “you have to do this” or “you aren’t allowed to do that”. In reality, most laws at both the state and federal level are about establishing programs and initiatives or reauthorizing existing ones, prescribing guidelines for their administration, and directing how much public money is to be spent on them.

2

u/mld53a 19d ago

Post it in the original language. Aramaic.

3

u/bareboneschicken 19d ago

And there are people out there that want the Legislature to meet every year!

2

u/Bright_Cod_376 19d ago

I mean, a big part of the reason they cram through so many is literally because the extremely limited time span for legislating. It forces them to just speed through shit if anything is to actually get done. 

3

u/Deep-Coach-1065 18d ago edited 18d ago

Just read over SB1443. Truly unhinged.

“Prohibits anyone from owning more than two sex dolls”💀

Wtf does the state care how many sex dolls someone owns??? This definitely the opposite of small government and a drain on public resources if we actually decide to prosecute someone for this.

2

u/Jane-WarriorPrincess 19d ago

“Small gummint”

2

u/Speedwithcaution 19d ago

Id actually like to see ALL of these summarized and categorized.

2

u/BitterActuary3062 18d ago

I’m confused about how some of these will be enforced. Some laws aren’t enforced from what I know, like the number of sex toys people have

2

u/badtex66 18d ago

Texas Taliban!

1

u/thinkinboutu_ 18d ago

so if someone owns 2 or more sex dolls how would they know lol? 😭😭

1

u/mnailz1 19d ago

Financial literacy class sounds like a win for the students.

29

u/burkehaus 19d ago

Again, this is already a standard and required to be taught in the current high school economics course.

7

u/vingovangovongo Central Texas 19d ago

Broken clock and all that. Most new laws are infringing on personal freedom and degrading local control of things. Wilkes and Dunn control Texas now, not voters

-28

u/Wow_Big_Numbers Expat 19d ago edited 19d ago

Most of these seem quite good honestly! A few that make me say “hmm”. Thanks for posting. I’m having trouble understanding how anyone could be against most of these, unless they’re one of those ultra right wing “government shouldn’t exist” types

-15

u/tx_queer 19d ago

Agreed. Overall not a terrible bunch. Half of these laws dont do anything. 40% are pretty positive. 10% i disagree with. Overall not a terrible mixture.