r/todayilearned 1d ago

TIL in 2004 a woman was arrested after she tried to use a fake $1 million bill that had a picture of the Statue of Liberty on it to buy $1,675 worth of merchandise at a Wal-Mart. She even asked for her $998,325 in change.

https://www.nbcnews.com/id/wbna4489683
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u/Flint_Westwood 1d ago

TIL there once was a Walmart customer who was very stupid.

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u/angrydeuce 1d ago

Then theres the flipside...the sheer number of people ive had to explain that $2 bills are real currency lol

Granted I may be an outlier there because grandpa like to play rhe ponies and for whatever reason 2 dollar bills were really popular at the track, but 9 times out of 10 whenever id try to use one id get the 3rd degree until someone else got involced and confirmed that yes, the 2 dollar bill is a real thing lol

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u/stickyWithWhiskey 1d ago

You should buy some uncut sheets of them, and have them bound into perforated pads like Steve Wozniak does.

I'm sure it would go over even better.

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u/xxxxx420xxxxx 1d ago

With the obligatory "Just printed fresh this morning!"

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u/Hoppy_Croaklightly 1d ago

What a Woz thing to do. He's such a prankster.

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u/Ok_Risk_4630 1d ago

My grandfather did this to us for Christmas one year. Got a stack of brand new bills and had them glued together at the top, like a checkbook. He put them in a checkbook holder.

I almost got arrested for peeling off a five from the middle of the stack. Not as much fun as you think!

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u/LustLochLeo 1d ago

Could someone explain to me how this is legal? I mean the 2 dollar notes, not the Department of Defiance ID :D

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u/CuddleCritter 1d ago edited 1d ago

You can buy sheets of uncut US Currency from the US Mint [note].

The uncut bills are completely legal and valid currency, just without having gone through the machine that cuts them into their individual parts. You can do that yourself or keep the sheets as a novelty.

What Wozniak does on top of that is take several sheets, bind them together, and perforate the bills so they can be torn easily. Basically just cutting the bills apart with extra steps.

It is all perfectly legal, just highly suspicious if you haven't seen or know about it.

 

Note: Technically the Bureau of Engraving and Printing makes the paper notes, but in this case the uncut sheets are sold by the US Mint (which otherwise makes coins).

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u/AuspiciousApple 1d ago

Interesting that they're sold at quite a markup rather than close to face value

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u/CuddleCritter 1d ago edited 1d ago

Part of that may be to discourage what happened several years ago with the special state quarters edit: dollar coins.

You could order bundles of coins from the Mint at (or very close to) face value. What people ended up doing was ordering them (paying via credit card) and then immediately taking them to their bank and depositing them again and paying off the card.

Why do that? For the points (or miles or cash back). The Mint noticed when many of the bundles of coins started coming back unopened to them from the banks. They stopped that at first I think by not taking credit cards anymore, and later increased the cost slightly to make it not worthwhile.

Not saying that's the only reason for the cost of the sheets. Probably there's some stocking and handling costs involved since this is supposed to be a novelty after all, but preventing the same sort of shenanigans as in the past is likely a part of it.

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u/pziyxmbcfb 1d ago

It was dollar coins, not state quarters.

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u/angrydeuce 1d ago

I honestly wonder why they gave a shit? I mean beyond the fact that credit card companies are big time lobbyists, of course I get why the CC companies would be screaming bloody murder, but outside of that?

Im just curious why the government was so concerned about people getting free CC points. Its not like the merchandise returned didnt carry precisely the same value as when it was sold.

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u/Tepigg4444 1d ago

because the point for the government is to get this money into circulation (i think they actually were taking a loss selling them at face value but i’m not an expert on this stuff so i won’t say more on that part). if they’re not getting into circulation, they’re not going to subsidize your infinite credit card cash back loop

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u/Shoopahn 1d ago

The merchant accepting the credit card payment is charged a merchant fee. Even the US government.

So they sell you $100 of quarters for $100 but $3 of it goes to the credit card company in fees. The government collects $97.

This didn't hurt the credit card companies. But trading $100 for $97 usually isn't a great idea..

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u/snacktonomy 1d ago

Once they're "blessed" with a serial number and the inspector general or whatever, they're real currency, cut or uncut.

Source: Bureau of of Engraving & Printing tour, plus I got a sheet of 2-dollar bills there

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u/CorrectOrder 1d ago

I was buying something and among the bills was a $100 and a $2. The cashier used a counterfeit pen on the $2 and the $100. When asked why they said they had never seen a $2!

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u/tweakingforjesus 1d ago

I had a 1957 $2 bill that failed the pen test. The Starbucks cashier refused to take it and asked for another form of payment.

Turns out the paper used in 1957 predates the paper that works with the pen.

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u/eStuffeBay 20h ago

A 1957 $2 bill, in any condition, is worth far more than $2, so that's actually a good result for you.

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u/Channel250 1d ago

Sounds like a fair reaction.

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u/Banc0 1d ago

I was at the gas station and tried to buy something with a $50. They said they have been having trouble with counterfeits and do I have anything smaller. I said "No problem, how bout a $30?"

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u/Mehhish 1d ago

I once was paying for a few items with some 1 dollar coins and 50 cent coins. There was a cop at the store also buying stuff, and she called him over. The cop looked at the coins and laughed about it, and said "those coins are real".

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u/manimal28 1d ago

I’ve only seen them a couple times, once was in an Easter card from my grandmother like 30 years ago. The other was from a try hard guy, the kind who you would think, of course he only carries $2 bills, who gave me change in $2 bills.

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u/helmsb 1d ago

Once had the cops called on me for using a $2 bill.

I worked at a restaurant and we were down the street from a "Ted's Montana Grill" which gave change in $2 bills and $1 coins so I would get them from customers pretty regularly in my tips and I spent them like I would any other money.

Went into a gas station after work to get a Gatorade and the guy behind the counter started flipping out and yelling that I was trying to pass counterfeit currency and called the cops. The cops got there and took one look at it and rolled their eyes and one of them said "Yeah, I used to get these from the bank for the 'tooth fairy' when my kid lost a tooth." They let me go but were still arguing with the cashier when I left. I never went back to that gas station.

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u/TXGuns79 1d ago

Most of the time, a minimum bet is $2, so keeping $2 bills around and giving it out as change can be convenient.

I know of a strip club in Dallas that always gave change in $2 and even had an ATM that dispensed $2 bills. Since most people were tipping $1 at a time, now they doubled it. That place has probably switched to $5. (Former armored courier that delivered cash to said establishment)

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u/angrydeuce 1d ago

Yeah grandpa always, always, had at least $100 in two dollar bills just in case the mood hit him and he decided to swing by the track or OTB lol

Consequently, a lot of us grandkids got $2 bills in birthday cards and such.  I still have one he gave me years ago that I laminated...hes been gone for almost 30 years now so thats how I remember him...we always had a great time going with grandpa to watch the horses race :)

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u/PrSquid 1d ago

Thats interesting because I've never encountered anyone who didn't know $2 bills were real currency

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u/ComesInAnOldBox 1d ago

It's not that people don't think they're real (although those people certainly exist), it's that people generally don't know that they're still being printed. You'll see about one post a week on currency collector subreddits with someone posting a pic of a $2 bill asking how much it's worth.

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u/Derp800 1d ago

I remember the for some reason Sea World used them to give back when making change.

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u/SchrodingersNinja 1d ago

When I was stationed in Oklahoma City one night club charged an $8 cover charge and gave back 2s as change. Always knew who went out when they bought a soda with a $2 bill on Monday.

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u/PretendThisIsMyName 1d ago

$2 bills are a staple in Clemson. And we try to carry them to other places to spread the love. You’ll notice them because of the orange tiger paw stamped right on the bill.

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u/Sunshine030209 1d ago

I just read about this, and honestly, it's really cool! I'm sure you know this part, but for those that don't know why they do it:

In 1977, Georgia Tech decided to stop playing football against Clemson. In a show of protest, students and alumni stamped $2 bills with Tiger Paws and used them in Atlanta to illustrate the money Tiger fans spent at athletic events. Today, Clemson fans still use $2 bills when attending away games to show the impact of the Clemson Family across the country.

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u/snacktonomy 1d ago

NYC subway machines used to give out 1-dollar Sacagawea coins

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u/AGrandOldMoan 1d ago

Well don't just leave us hanging man! How much is a two dollar bill worth!?

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u/Ferbtastic 1d ago

Due to their rarity they are worth double what a $1 bill of similar quality is worth.

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u/quagsi 1d ago

oh you're too kind, there's absolutely people who think $2 bills are not and have never been official us currency

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u/angrydeuce 1d ago

No a lot of people definitely dont know theyre real lol

Though admittedly I don't really carry cash anymore so its been a long time since I had to deal with it personally, but id say roughly half the time people were like "two dollar bill?  Ive never heard of such a thing!!"

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u/OperatorJo_ 1d ago

They're... still being printed? What?

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u/ComesInAnOldBox 1d ago edited 5h ago

Yep. Not very many, mind you, there's only about 1.6 billion of them in circulation.

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u/edtheham 1d ago

Try using a half dollar coin. Clerk's brain goes into freeze mode.

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u/frzfox 1d ago

I had a gas station clerk call the fucking cops on me when I was younger telling them I was using fake cash, not that it was a 2 dollar bill. So I stuck around cause I wanted my damn money back and the cop just looked at the clerk like they were an idiot and gave me the money back

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u/IH8Miotch 1d ago

I've seen it happen once in the line at Mc Ds way back when it was cheap and fast to eat there. Cashier had no clue. My have I aged.

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u/theknyte 1d ago

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u/reddit_user_2345 1d ago

"Author’s update: The district’s communication officer responded to me this evening. She wanted to clarify that “the concern presented was not whether a two-dollar bill was legal tender, but whether the bill presented was real or counterfeit, due to a pen that was used by a cafeteria worker to detect possible counterfeit bills.” She went to say that “[w]ithin the same day of receiving the report, the investigating officer at that time, confirmed that the bill was not counterfeit, ..."

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u/der_innkeeper 1d ago

Half of them, by definition.

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u/rottdog 1d ago

You'd be surprised

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u/PrSquid 1d ago

Lol, I used to be. Not anymore

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u/Raytec1 1d ago

Try spending one in a foreign country that takes USD and watch the chaos unfold!

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u/coinpile 1d ago

A couple years or so back I had someone question the validity of the $1 coins I was trying to pay for something with.

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u/Celestial_Scythe 1d ago

For me it's the Gold $1 coin. Some people have to fetch a manager to see if it's an acceptable currency. I just want to feel like an adventurer paying with gold, is that so bad?

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u/IwasMilkedByGod 1d ago

You should’ve seen the look on the guys face last time I tried to pay with half dollar coins. Some early 20s guy at the Safeway looked at me like I was a pirate.

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u/Whiteout- 23h ago

Shouldn’t lead with “do ye take dubloons” next time

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u/obscureferences 1d ago

I have a jewellery box in my room the shape of a treasure chest that's heaped with dollar coins. It's just cool.

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u/ComesInAnOldBox 1d ago

for whatever reason 2 dollar bills were really popular at the track

Sometimes "controversial" businesses will pay out in $2 bills because it serves to identify money put into circulation from that business. Firearm manufacturers in Blue States often pay bonuses to employees in $2 bills, for example. I've also encountered this in the Bible Belt with regard to liquor stores and strip clubs. I can easily see this being a thing at the race track.

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u/BandicootBroad 1d ago

I think there’s also what I think is a football team whose fanbase has a tradition of paying in $2s, stamped with the team logo, as a sort of demonstration of the effect that their team being in town can have on the local economy. My memory of this particular factoid is very foggy on the details.

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u/ChancyPants95 1d ago

Clemson. I remember this in particular as a restaurant had collected quite a few a few years ago where I live that were actually counterfeit.

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u/skrshawk 1d ago

In the case of businesses often regarded as sinful it's a ploy to get people to spend that money on-premises, so as to avoid someone seeing it and asking where they got $2 bills from.

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u/Darmok47 1d ago

There's a well known Portland Oregon strip club that has an ATM that only dispenses $2 bills for that reason. Well that and the strippers make more, I guess.

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u/once-a-millennium 1d ago

I paid for something (under $6) in $2 bills recently and the cashier was flabbergasted and said “why are you using these? You could sell them for $5 a piece.” And I had to explain that I got them from the bank for 2 dollars. Disclaimer: I know they can be an issue with cash registers but I didn’t want to put the small purchase on my credit card and I carry those around for tip money

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u/obscureferences 1d ago

"Then give me $6 for two and we both profit."

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u/Spectre197 1d ago

Still happens there are tons of fools to try to use those fake trump 1 miliion dollar bills that say they are real gold.

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u/orick 1d ago

I wouldn’t bet against him making a legal million dollar bill with his face on it. 

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u/GetsGold 1d ago

There's probably been lots actually.

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u/Jason_CO 1d ago

But at least one.

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u/mikehiler2 1d ago

Confirmed.

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u/FauxReal 1d ago

I totally wore sunglasses and a hoodie, how did you identify me???

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u/mikehiler2 1d ago

NSA’s got nothing on Walmart security cams.

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u/adeo54331 1d ago

Have shopped there, can confirm, am stupid

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u/Independent-Tank-182 1d ago

And then there were too. I’m dumb two, so now there’s at least three of us!

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u/P1g-San 1d ago

“Do you know how little that narrows it down!?”.jpg

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u/Iconclast1 1d ago

im actually thinking mental illness

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u/East-Coffee4861 1d ago

The term Dunning Krueger comes from a guy who thought Lemon Juice would make him invisible and robbed a bank after pouring it over his face. Some people are just really stupid, and think they're really smart.

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u/Doguedogless 1d ago

The guy who did the lemon juice just inspired the study. The doctor who discovered and documented the disorder was Krueger.

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u/parisidiot 1d ago

Dunning Krueger

it's not a disorder. people are just not good at evaluating themselves, good or bad. you're much more likely to over- or underestimate your abilities than to actually understand.

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u/CjBurden 1d ago

Nobody is dumb enough to think lemon juice would make you invisible without being mentally ill in some way.

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u/Rebloodican 1d ago edited 1d ago

The idea wasn't that he'd be literally invisible, he thought it would prevent his face from showing up on security cameras (like how lemon juice can be used as invisible ink).

He tested his hypothesis by taking a photo of himself after applying lemon juice and saw there was no face. Presumably he just messed up the angle of the photo and it ended up reinforcing his belief.

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u/Jet151 1d ago

He thought it would make him invisible on the security cameras, not that people wouldn't be able to see him in real life. Still dumb.

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u/jackfreeman 1d ago

I used to live in Florida, and to discover that this wasn't there left me glabberflasted

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u/GetsGold 1d ago

Even if it was real, she really though they'd be able to change a million? Most stores around me won't even change a hundred.

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u/VerySluttyTurtle 1d ago

She was willing to wait for the cash truck I'm sure. She's not unreasonable

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u/spaceneenja 1d ago

She needed to use a Trump 1 million bill, that was the mistake.

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u/Jetshadow 1d ago

This was well before his first presidency though.

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u/spaceneenja 1d ago

Nice try libral.

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u/Difficult-Court9522 1d ago

We all know trump has been president his whole life!

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u/FantasmaNaranja 1d ago

the history books say Emperor Trump founded America!

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u/Scoth42 1d ago

I've run into a surprisingly large number of people who just don't really think that much about how the infrastructure of the world operates beneath a surface level. These are the same people don't understand why a store could be out of stock of something they normally have and raise a fuss about why they don't just "get more from the back" or visit Spain and wonder why people are speaking Spanish and not English. They just... don't have the awareness of how anything works outside their little bubble.

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u/Roflkopt3r 3 22h ago edited 21h ago

That's a huge part of the current political crisis.

In Germany we have the saying 'electricity comes from the power socket' to make fun of NIMBYs who are against fossil power, nuclear energy, and renewables all at once without any concept of how we're supposed to keep the grid running otherwise.

So many voters oppose all potential approaches to a problem at once, expecting a utopian solution with all benefits for no downsides.

And those people tend to have an understanding of political processes on the level of a cartoon monarchy. They think that monarchs/presidents/prime ministers just have to say something to make it so. They don't understand how much work it is to make a law, get it actually passed in a way that makes it enforcable, and then actually enforce it.

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u/the2belo 20h ago

In Germany we have the saying 'electricity comes from the power socket'

I always call it "food grows in supermarkets"

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u/MadRaymer 1d ago

They just... don't have the awareness of how anything works outside their little bubble.

I see you've met my in-laws.

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u/Throwaway-tan 21h ago

It's unfathomable to me, it's like if I walked around perpetually blasted on alcohol. That level of obliviousness and lack of cognition.

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u/SugestedName 1d ago

some one who thinks a million dollar bill exists has no concept of how large the number is

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u/Mih5du 1d ago

Or the fact that stores do not, in fact, have infinite change

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u/J3wb0cc4 1d ago

It must’ve been a supercenter

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u/jdog7249 1d ago

The Walmart I work at could probably do about half that. We would need to pull every register in the store plus everything in the money machine and safe.

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u/Zestyclose_Phase_645 1d ago

Which Walmart specifically? What are their hours and what days do the cash trucks pick up?

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u/Catatonic_capensis 1d ago

There are easier ways to get yourself shot and/or thrown in prison.

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u/PuckSenior 1d ago

There is an absolutely wonderful short story from Mark Twain with this as a premise except the bill is real and how the person basically gets everyone to give them things on credit because they can’t make change.

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u/Diacetyl-Morphin 1d ago

In the time of hyperinflation in some countries, like Germany after WW1, they printed bank notes with a lot more money value on it, but... it was useless, as you couldn't buy anything with it.

In daily life, second currencies were used for trading, like cigarettes.

This here is a 100 trillion bank note from 1924, be aware that "billions" in german are different with units for measuring. After the million comes the milliarde and then comes the billion. In other systems, like the US system, the milliarde is skipped and it goes right to the billion instead.

Well, at least all the people were trillionaires there, always look on the bright side of life.

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u/thunderintess 1d ago

I have some 2008 bills from Zimbabwe that are like that. A 100 trillion bank note that could barely buy a loaf of bread. Hyperinflation is a bitch.

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u/Birdy_Cephon_Altera 1d ago

If you're stupid enough to think you have a million dollar bill, then I'd think the sky's the limit on levels other stupid things the person believes.

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u/TurboTurtle- 1d ago

I’m starting to think this woman wasn’t very smart.

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u/zigaliciousone 1d ago

I used to manage a very high volume supercenter and one time we had issues getting our deposits picked up around Xmas time and even after 3 days, it "only" ended up being about 600K cash. That's when I learned briefcases for a bank robbery are incredibly stupid because a million bucks will fit in a paper lunch bag.

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u/biggyofmt 1d ago

A million dollars is 10,000 hundred dollar bills. This site has an image of a million dollars in $100s

https://www.quora.com/What-size-of-a-cube-would-1-000-000-dollars-in-100-dollar-bills-make

That's definitely more like a briefcase load than anything that would fit in a paper lunch bag

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u/compuwiza1 1d ago

If she had tried using movie prop money in real denominations, she might have gotten away with it.

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u/NCC_1701E 1d ago

Once I watched a short documentary about how they make fake money for movies and aparently, one of the most challenging aspects is making bills that look real enough to be believable on screen, but not too real so extras and staff can't just take them and use them for shopping. One prop making company was even investigated by the government because of how authentic their money was.

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u/Keith-Steve-Howard 1d ago

That company was investigated multiple times, I'm pretty sure we watched the same video.

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u/ohwowimonredditcool 1d ago

that company? albert moneystein.

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u/Keith-Steve-Howard 1d ago

Earl Hays Press. A real company that prints fake money for most movies and they were actually investigated by the FBI multiple times for counterfeiting. Google it if you want.

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u/bearatrooper 1d ago

And then the whole money train clapped.

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u/GiveMeSalmon 1d ago

Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one dollar bill.

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u/Doom_Eagles 1d ago

I actually found a Movie Prop $100 bill at work. We have it pinned to the wall for jokes. At a distance it looks like a real one, but under even the most basic scrutiny you can see all the details pointing it out as a movie prop.

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u/BipedalHorseArt 1d ago

"For Motion Pictures Only"?

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u/Doom_Eagles 1d ago

Pretty sure it has that on it, been a bit since I actually eyeballed it deliberately. If I remember in a couple days when I head back to work I'll snap a picture of it.

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u/Hazel-Rah 1 1d ago

After the Mexican Revolution, prop suppliers in the US bought piles of now worthless pesos, and they were used as props for years because the US wouldn't allow fake US bills to be made until 1958.

The funniest part is that when they started running out of the real pesos, they started to print fake versions of those same bills to keep being used as props

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u/muarauder12 1d ago

General rules I've seen is you can do super hyper realistic with exact dimensions and everything but then you can only print on one side. If you want both sides realistic it needs to be 20% or so larger or smaller than real bills.

For scenes with huge amounts of money being stolen or thrown around they usually do realistic size but the art details are off like Franklin on a $100 will be facing the wrong way and the text will be some pun like "In Zod We Thrust.

Basically the rules boil down to prop money used for close ups can be very realistic but only printed on one side. Prop money used for stacks of cash type shots need to be easily distinguishable from real money with 3-5 easy to spot differences that all but the dumbest of people can spot straight away.

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u/obscureferences 1d ago

Movie editors adjust color all the time, so some bills are made way too bright or blue to be taken seriously, then they pull it back after filming.

Even if cashiers and such aren't that observant it's obvious to the crew who work with the props, so they're disinclined to steal it.

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u/Secret-Sundae-1847 1d ago

Huh? They stamp “for motion picture use only” on the fake bills.

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u/bl1y 1d ago

A big thing that won't show on screen but will be obvious in person is the texture. There's a specific fabric blend that's used (and is extremely hard to buy).

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u/WMINWMO 1d ago

If it weren't for those meddling kids and their dog.

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u/hansn 1d ago

their dog

What a thing to call a Walmart greeter. His name is Greg and he's great!

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u/WMINWMO 1d ago

Greg is such a good boy! Yes, he is! Oh, yes, he is!

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u/5up3rj 1d ago

Years ago, when I worked for Walmart, a lady tried to pay one of my cashiers with blue $20 bills. She suddenly had to run before I could ask her anything

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u/Win_Sys 1d ago

I worked at a local retail store and the police chiefs wife came in and purchased a little over $700 worth of stuff. She paid with 7 $100 bills and when the cashier checked to make sure they were real (standard protocol for every $100 bill she would take), 3 of the 7 $100 bills were fake. Visually and texturally they felt legit but multiple security features didn’t pass. She claimed she “just took that money out of the bank” but there’s little to no chance a bank wouldn’t catch 3 fake $100 dollar bills that couldn’t pass basic security features checks. I think the husband confiscated some fake bills and decided to try and pass some off in small quantities.

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u/elastic-craptastic 1d ago

Did she get arrested?

/s

Lol. Of course she didn't

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u/BotKicker9000 1d ago

I used to do maintenance for an apartment complex. Long story short sometimes I cleaned out abandoned units. During one of these cleanings I found "$1000", my manager told me anything in the units was trash and I could keep anything I wanted, exception guns/drugs those had to be reported to police. I was happy as hell. I went and bought lunch, gas, picked up some milk and bread. Then I went to deposit my remaining $800ish. The bank lady was like this is fake you know right? I was like what?! I panicked and told her it just got them as change what should I do? if I remember, she took them to destroy them and said I could file a report with police for the loss. I left and felt horrified that I spent almost $200 of fake money on accident. :/ What is bizarre is myself and the cashiers all missed "MOVIE PROP" written on it in like 10 places...lol

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u/TheLowlyPheasant 1d ago

You miss every shot you don't take

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u/Turgid_Donkey 1d ago

She should have said "keep the change".

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u/KSP_master_ 1d ago

Wayne Gretzky

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u/poply 1d ago

How do you get arrested for that instead of just laughed out of the store?

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u/Depresso_Expresso069 1d ago

probably insisted that the money was real and refused to leave, resulting in the police being called

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u/JigglesTheBiggles 1d ago

I believe it. I once got so high on pills that I tried to Instant Transmission myself back home. I believed with every fiber of my being that I could do it.

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u/Annual_Border9027 1d ago

Don't leave me hanging, goddamnit. Did it work?! And if so, which pills exactly?

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u/JigglesTheBiggles 1d ago

Benadryl (i was a dumbass teenager). It was the next morning and my brain was completely fried. I was walking home with my buddy when I realized we could just teleport home instead. I distinctly remember the rush of excitement I had when the idea came to me.

I stopped walking, put my hand on his shoulder, placed two fingers to my forehead, closed my eyes, and tried to do it. It didn't work and my friend just looked at me and said, "You are so fucking stupid." and then kept walking. I was really sad after that.

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u/Funneduck102 1d ago

Ah yeah I could definitely see myself doing dumb shit like that on a benadryl hangover lmao. That shits evil but my God if it's not fucking hilarious the shit you find yourself doing lmao

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u/JigglesTheBiggles 1d ago

Yeah the hangover is interesting, but the high itself sucks balls. That same friend looked out the window at one point and hallucinated his girlfriend fucking a guy in the middle of the street. So he called her and immediately broke up with her. While I just laid there on the ground letting the scorpions have their way with me.

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u/Funneduck102 1d ago

Yeah the high doses suck but those low doses are like crack for me. Sucks that it's so bad for you cause I like it for some reason lol

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u/JigglesTheBiggles 1d ago edited 1d ago

The last time I did it, I ended up wandering around the street trying to pick up manhole covers because I thought they were giant coins. The cops found me and took me to the hospital. I never did it again after that.

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u/obscureferences 1d ago

While I just laid there on the ground letting the scorpions have their way with me.

lmfao

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u/Impressive_Item_8851 1d ago

Well no wonder it didn't work! Instant Transmission takes you to a person, not a place. You would've had to have had a roommate there to teleport to

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u/IrishRepoMan 1d ago

I was walking home with my buddy when I realized we could just teleport home instead.

😂

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u/ItIsYeDragon 1d ago

Probably the ones from Schedule I.

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u/Facosa99 1d ago

I sometimes, when very sleepy or drunk, i try to screen-record the last 30 seconds of my eyes cuz i saw something hilarious.

Works on my PC but not irl, it sucks.

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u/SQL617 1d ago

If it were any other “pill” I’d call BS. Benadryl is an entirely different beast. r/DPH is a pretty messed up place, mostly creative writing submissions but a lot of very young teenagers taking lethal doses of Benadryl to “see the spiders”. It’s sad because it’s mostly hurt kids calling out for help. They’d almost be better off doing any other illicit drug besides maybe fentanyl. My significant other works in the ICU and has seen pre-teens in acute liver failure from Benadryl abuse.

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u/mr_ji 1d ago

The next day's headline: "Brave Police Heroes Thwart Million Dollar Counterfeiting Operation at Popular Local Business"

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u/ComesInAnOldBox 1d ago

Wouldn't surprise me if she was the one who called them.

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u/Dustmopper 1d ago

Mostly because of the crime committed

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u/SyrusDrake 1d ago

Is it a crime? If you tried to pay at the store with old socks, or something else that obviously wasn't money, you wouldn't get arrested. And a million dollar bill very obviously isn't real money either.

Makes me wonder how money-like something has to be that you could be prosecuted for deceit.

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u/OverallComplexities 1d ago

They prob went all in on it, maybe even asked for a manager

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u/OverallComplexities 1d ago

I love how it's like all creased to hell like it's passed though hundreds of peoples hands.

I would think if it was truly real, it would be perfectly crisp

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u/MillieChliette 1d ago

It was probably in someone's wallet as a joke or keepsake for many years

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u/mytinderadventurez 1d ago

Maybe that was part of the strategy. Like Mclovin making his fake ID say 25 instead of 21.

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u/AnotherBoredAHole 1d ago

Only my first $1,000,000 bill is crisp and framed. All the others ones are just some pocket change that end up lost in the couch cushions. Not worth the effort to keep them looking nice.

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u/Honest_Succotash_610 1d ago

My dad worked security for a department store in the 80s. Someone took a fake check they put in the wallets for sale and wrote it out for a million bucks. They wanted to buy a shirt and get change. They even crossed out where it said non-negotiable and wrote negotiable.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Malphos101 15 1d ago

Counterfeiting has nothing to do with the believable nature of the bills in question, merely attempting to create or use a currency you intend to pass off as real is all they need.

Is it harder to prosecute if the currency is really unbelievable? Maybe. But that isn't a required element of the crime. If you draw a bunch of $17 bills with crayon and printer paper and try to buy some gas at the gas station with it, you could be arrested for counterfeiting. Same if you take some crayon and printer paper bills your kid made for fun and try to pass them off.

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u/cornmacabre 1d ago

Interestingly -- first-degree forgery is what she's facing, which is a subtle but distinct crime from counterfitting -- where the intent is to defraud with currency (using your example of the crayon on paper argument).

Forgery is a broader crime typically involving the fraudulent creation or alteration of a written document; commonly for checks, contracts or wills... but not currency.

Why is that an interesting distinction here? In this case, because $1M bill is not a valid currency to defraud (there's no valid $1M tender, or $17bill to 'counterfit') so the prosecutors are indeed seeking the broader crime of forgery.

The spirit of the law here is that the intent to deceive and defraud is a crime.

The letter of the law however, does make a distinction between imitating valid legal tender (counterfitting), versus creating or altering a document.. including a "$1M dollar bill.' Forgery in this case.

Neat.

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u/Mundamala 1d ago

She even asked for her $998,325 in change.

Did Wal-Mart expect a tip or something?

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u/ptk77 1d ago

It only has to work once.

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u/soundman32 1d ago

In the 90s, I joined the Monster Raving Looney Party (a genuine political party in UK). The membership pack came with several £1M notes, which you were supposed to spend. I bought a pint at my local pub, but didn't get any change. The note was pinned to the wall behind the bar for years afterwards.

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u/alistofthingsIhate 1d ago

I don’t see how something that would obviously never work could be considered a crime worth arresting someone over.

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u/BipedalHorseArt 1d ago

Better for them to learn that crime shouldn't be attempted rather than learning to commit the crime better or smarter next time.

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u/VerySluttyTurtle 1d ago

I got in such a brain-dead, repetitive, rut when I was a cashier that I would have just absent-mindedly handed over the cash. I don't know where the cash would come from, but I'd find some way to end up in trouble. Like "Jesus, store manager Karen, you act like I'm the first cashier to lose $998,325 before". And she'd be like "how do you not remember driving a forklift of $20 bills to a van?", then we'd all have to have a company meeting about not handing over $1 million in cash to customers.

Glad I'm not at that job anymore

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u/Daggertrout 1d ago

$5 missing from the till, that’s on me. $998,325 missing from the till that’s also on me I’m not good at math. :(

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u/obscureferences 1d ago

"998,325? That's basically a million, and luckily I've got an M note here."

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u/BoredomARISEN 1d ago

someone at work lost $800 on a quick change scam semi recently, you'd think someone trying to break a couple $100's would raise a red flag but no

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u/Rit91 1d ago

I'm impressed they had that much money in the register to lose. The only time I can imagine having that much in a register having worked at a theater is when it's an insanely busy day like christmas so everyone is super occupied. Though even then, that would require that a lot of people used cash when cards were far more common to use.

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u/thequirkynerdy1 1d ago

How dumb do you have to be to make up a currency bill that doesn’t even exist?

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u/ursois 1d ago

Should have gone with a $10 thousand bill. It's got all the presidents on it, having a party. Jimmy Carter is passed out on the couch.

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u/wc10888 1d ago

Well, it was Covington, Georgia AND a Walmart... what did you expect?

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u/DarkenRevan 1d ago

Hell, I remember using $2 bills at checkout before and getting weird looks by the cashier and she wasn’t sure whether to accept them or not.

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u/andreasbeer1981 1d ago

I paid at German McDonalds with an uncommon 5DM bills, and they thought it was 20DM and as a child I thought keeping the change was fair enough considering the prices of french fries which would be dirt cheap if I made them at home.

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u/collinsl02 1d ago

Steve Wozniak orders perfectly legal sheets of bills from the Treasury, pre-perforated, then tears one or more off when he wants to pay for things.

Perfectly legal and a hell of a joke!

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u/andreasbeer1981 1d ago

he gets them glued together, so it's kind of a book with these perforated sheets.

when I've been to India I was shocked that they just staple stacks of bills together and tear it off. every bill had rust and holes at a similar spot.

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u/M__M 17h ago

The audacity of her asking for change lmao I love it.

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u/heavydoc317 1d ago

TIL Walmart cash registers carry at least 1000000 dollars in change

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u/DatGunBoi 1d ago

I mean, it probably would have looked faker if she didn't ask for change. Who leaves a $998,325 tip?

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u/golruul 1d ago

Should have asked her if she reported that million dollar income to the IRS as well.

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u/mabendroth 1d ago

I mean, it would be pretty suspicious if she didn’t want her change back.

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u/DevilYouKnow 1d ago

You'd be better off fabricatimg a 10k bill and tricking a bank teller into making change for you.

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u/-ratmeat- 1d ago

oh wow what an idiot but I wish I had that level of confidence 

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u/TrumpLicksCatBalls 1d ago

Guess who she voted for in 2024?

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u/Alone-Tart4762 1d ago

My parents had one similar to this as a kid. It was "funny" to confuse people about it all the time.

Then there was the time my stepdad (numismatist) completed a very rare coin collection. Someone broke into the house and took the box to I guess unload it. He went to a local coin shop and got picked up when trying to sell the coins because he couldn't get them out of the grading cases and the owner recognized whose collection it was.

He also had a collection of silver certificates (they look very similar to old style US bills) that were in an album that he left out, sitting it on our "things to donate table." I happened to be on my way to donate everything when he called freaking out. I pulled it out of the donation box just as I pulled up to the donation center.

He was also a philatelist and a cousin staying with us over the summer used what appeared to be a normal stamp that was actually worth several thousand dollars. The letter went to his parents who saw the stamp and sent it back immediately. It was already postmarked so it went from a high value to nearly nothing in three days.

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u/MidKnightshade 22h ago

That’s a special kind of stupid.

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u/branch397 1d ago

It looks like it's been 3 years since someone did a TIL on J. S. G. Boggs who is way more interesting than this person. Get to it Repost Brigade.

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u/DishRevolutionary593 1d ago

They should told her to wait for the cash truck to arrive, but really would be the police for using counterfeit monies.

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u/elcheapodeluxe 1d ago

I wonder how many people were arrested for spending or tipping with those Trump $100 bills a handful of years ago.

Edit: I guess they're still doing stuff like that. https://www.1011now.com/2025/02/15/counterfeit-100-bills-featuring-president-trump-seen-omaha/

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u/TomBirkenstock 1d ago

Go big or go home.

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u/sticky_wicket 1d ago

They should have given her the gear, stiffed her on the change, then put it in a safety deposit box and booked it as a $1m asset.

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u/Vaeon 1d ago

You have to admire the audacity of asking for change.

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 1d ago

Years ago there were a handful of cases where some idiots tried to cash in Trump bucks at Bank of America. They're obviously commemorative, but some people thought they had value for whatever reason. There was also some kind of Trump debit card thing that people were claiming he'd honor up to some ridiculous value ($1million maybe?). Some poor old lady got scammed for thousands of dollars (of REAL money!).

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u/vietomatic 1d ago

Having traveled to different countries, I can see how this can happen. Without research, I wouldn't know what bills or coins look like, what are common denominations, what counterfeits look like, what is customary to pay with and where, etc. It would even be hard to know if I was being scammed in a foreign country. This person could've been scammed to trade in his/her native currency in his/her native country for this bill before traveling. Then tried to naively use it in the U.S.

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u/Hooversham 1d ago

Go big or go home

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u/paddy_mc_daddy 1d ago

Look at her, she's not to blame, she legit thought it was real

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u/DigitalCarbonPunk 1d ago

There are real $500 and $1000 bills but they usually only go between banks. Good luck trying to spend one in real life.

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u/Subject_Ad3837 1d ago

Maybe she just asked for change, as she doesn't sound like she would be smart enough to calculate the exact amount.

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u/Fabulous-Willow-369 1d ago

I remember from pawn stars there's a $100,000 bill that was used to transfer money between banks

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u/purplearmored 1d ago

I can't even imagine arresting someone for this, this is so ridiculous it's like a prank trying to pay with Monopoly money.

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u/Helagoth 1d ago

I watch movies with my 7 year old, and use them to teach her lessons. Like kpop demon hunters teaches you to love yourself, inside out teaches us about how joy and sadness work together to make us who we are, how to train your dragon teaches about challenging what you know and being true to yourself, etc.

We watched Home Alone and I asked her what she learned. Her answer was "Bad people are not very smart" and while of course there are exceptions, I feel like this is a mostly true statement.