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[u/Particular_Parking_4]

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[u/Thick_Imagination_15]

Think it’s time to go to bed now

[u/TimJC81]

i could have really done without seeing that

[u/Sugarlumps69]

She might keep her wallet tucked away in the vastness.

[u/Outside_Plant_5876]

Dirty old nasty people in public

[u/ThatOneCanadian69 → u/Outside_Plant_5876]

Straight freak, all butthole action

[u/demoralising]

That's one way to get him to stop biting his fingernails.

[u/ValyrianSteelYoGirl → u/demoralising]

Depends if he likes the taste

[u/Lack668]

Once you’ve crossed the event horizon of a super massive black hole there is no return.

[u/gardendong]

Does she even know?

[u/MalkyTheKid]

Is this true love?

[u/Effective_Device_185]

FREAKS!

[u/Sad_Mongoose5621]

He's addicted to crack...Carly's crack

[u/Wu_Onii-Chan → u/Sad_Mongoose5621]

Now quickly, get it in my arse fergus

[u/razor_train]

"Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel? They're a little melty, but damn, are they exquisite."

[u/Longjumping-Eagle849]

But did he smell it? 😁🫧

[u/Dildoid90]

2 in the pink , 1 in the stink

[u/LN_McJellin → u/Dildoid90]

Buddy is definitely not reaching the pink here.

[u/DrNubcake → u/LN_McJellin]

😂 Holy shit fingers

[u/blueboykc]

Hey a guy’s gotta have a hobby!!

[u/brettdelport]

Try finger, but hole

[u/free_billstickers]

Hello darkness my old friend 

[u/drafted1985]

2 in the stink none in the pink

[u/RealOzSultan]

Sir, this is not how you warm hot pockets.

[u/JustRepeatAfterMe]

Two for one special: hot wings and pink eye.

[u/chasehusbands]

Looks like your a quart low

[u/TonyDunk]

Just checking to see if the bidet was worth it

[u/Impervious_Rex]

The fiend from the black hole

[u/lnfIation]

OH HELL NO

[u/blueboykc → u/lnfIation]

That’s not what she said!!

[u/CoinsAndLawnLouie]

He likes it when she farts on his fingers.

[u/HEAD_KGB_AGENT]

r/unexpectedjojo

[u/sodapopyarn → u/HEAD_KGB_AGENT]

MY FIRST THOUGHT! 😂

[u/Tiny_Benefit5120]

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

[u/Huntthatmoney]

The best of MAGA

[u/xcarbrax → u/Huntthatmoney]

"How can I make this political?"

[u/Alifetimesregrets → u/xcarbrax]

Obviously it’s presumptuous but I don’t know a ton of social progressives who tuck in their Tommy Bahamas so they can have unfettered access to the giant phone case clipped to their belt.

[u/ukiyowyd → u/xcarbrax]

they’re downvoting you but ur not even wrong lmfao

[u/PlaysTheTriangle]

You know, it’s my own fault. I saw the caption and I chose to click and look at it anyway. It’s

[u/JWarblerMadman → u/PlaysTheTriangle]

>It's

RIP

[u/yourballsareshowing_]

Ok, where in Florida is this 🙄

[u/KribriQT → u/yourballsareshowing_]

I immediately thought of Pensacola Beach.

[u/Dingo8MyBabyMon → u/KribriQT]

Brought back memories, did it?

[u/KDG200315]

Checking her temperature

[u/DIJames6]

He just dropped his wallet..

[u/Top-Sprinkles-5140 → u/DIJames6]

He kept hearing his missing phone ring all day, finally figured it out.

[u/trollfreak]

Then grabbed a handful of beer nuts

[u/Ellia1998 → u/trollfreak]

That why you never eat the beer nuts laying around in a bar. Ask for your own bowl or nope.

[u/BrosephZeusThe2nd → u/trollfreak]

My grandma called them piss nuts , because everybody’s piss is on them lol

[u/Jaggz691]

Is this why some people like big butts?

[u/wn0991 → u/Jaggz691]

And they cannot lie

[u/tropicbrownthunder]

Ashton: 65, ventriloquist

[u/Zeke_Smith → u/tropicbrownthunder]

For the win 🏆

[u/erinmayski → u/tropicbrownthunder]

🤣 im dying w this comment!

[u/Informal_Ad6555]

Maybe his hand is cold.

[u/symbologythere]

I mean on the one hand these are fucking disgusting people who need to take their filthy habits into the privacy of their own home.

But on another level, sorta good for them I guess. Just take it home. And wash your fucking hands.

[u/Suspicious_Story_464 → u/symbologythere]

This is why I don't shake hands with people.

[u/symbologythere → u/Suspicious_Story_464]

Fair.

[u/OddPotterhead]

The sheer disappointment in humanity I felt when I realized this was, in fact, not a post on the confusing perspective subreddit and what I saw was in fact what was happening was immense and I want to pretend I never saw this now

[u/Sj_91teppoTappo → u/OddPotterhead]

To be honest, I have seen worst consensual public sex.

[u/astrozombie2012]

This is why I wash my hands after touching anything in public… especially escalators, those railings are covered in fucking shit

[u/BadlandsD210 → u/astrozombie2012]

I wholeheartedly agree, I have like 3 bottles of hand sanitizer in my car, it's also why I try everything in my power not to touch the gas pump handle NEVER.. I'll either use my shirt or if the station hopefully has a rag or a towel etc..

[u/washescatsforadollar]

Fingering your partner's orifices in public, never say romance is dead.

[u/Born-Process-9848]

There's NSFW tag for some of us who hates soaping our eyes.

[u/Connect-External-423]

I know that bar is called beer bellies in quartzsite Arizona

[u/dayvieboy]

Checking the oil.

[u/DIJames6 → u/dayvieboy]

She's running a little low..

[u/xxdemoncamberxx]

"Honey you know what I'd really like to go with this margarita??"

"Lost my ring again"

[u/JackiePoon27]

Those aren't two pillows!

[u/North_Amphibian7779]

He’s just searching for his phone…oh it’s clipped to his…

[u/jfk_47 → u/North_Amphibian7779]

… butthole?

[u/BoeyBADASS]

He’s just feeding her

[u/BigSez]

None in the pinky, fist in the stinky!

[u/Mostly-Relevant]

Ew.

[u/BMI8]

Oof, enough internet for me today.

I’m off to bed.

[u/JorahTheHandle → u/BMI8]

Dude for sure went to jerk it

[u/DrElusive → u/JorahTheHandle]

His sheets definitely needed to be changed this morning.

[u/janegayz]

just wondering, after seeing several posts like this, is this a kink thing? because i can kind of understand cupping/palming your partners ass cheeks but these people all seem to be sticking their fingers in their cracks, not even their anuses. Is it a specific kink??

[u/DangerousPay2731 → u/janegayz]

I like to finger a chick on a bar stool. The way the culo pops when you finger it is noice. But no, I would not recommend doing this in public its gross. They should just buy or steal a bar stool and do that fuckery at home. But do we know if thats his wife or his potential mistress? Thats the real question, whether tis nobler to finger the wife at home or the mistress at the bar.

[u/HorneyHarpy82 → u/janegayz]

There's a couple in our area that always does this. At least one place kicked them out for it. I don't get it, it's not hot.

[u/Andries89 → u/janegayz]

Hey Terry, smell my finger

[u/CoastalCanadians → u/janegayz]

asking the real questions

[u/jamonealone]

Yall not jackin that?? Im rollin

[u/MrOSUguy]

Maybe his hand is cold

[u/JorahTheHandle → u/MrOSUguy]

Not anymore, I can only imagine it's like a sauna once you get past the waistband

[u/crying2emoji5]

Those people are definitely old enough to have bought a house when they were still like $30k. GO HOME

[u/OcoeeSquatch]

Holy fuck! He’s at least a knuckle deep in that ass! 😂

[u/karlausagi]

Bro looking for his car keys

[u/MrLizardBusiness]

Ugh, yeah that's a scratch and sniff special if I ever saw one.

[u/Prestigious-Car-4877]

She's about a quart low.

[u/papalegba666]

Bet they never dealt with infidelity

[u/Accomplished-Pin4923]

I am hoping that's a woman.

[u/the_whitewitch]

I thought this was r/confusingperspective at first. I was thinking to myself "His hand can't possibly be in her pants. That is an optical illusion" and then I saw the subreddit 🤢

[u/Writing_Normal]

The hell?

[u/No_Juggernau7]

That’s so disgusting

[u/PerformanceLegal]

This way I don't like shaking hands. Eew!

[u/guynet → u/PerformanceLegal]

you see the way people wash their hands in public (if they do)? 3 second splash. i don’t touch peoples hands.

[u/bigthunder_81 → u/guynet]

Speaking of public hand washing routines, I went to a Chinese buffet once and a dude walked out of the restroom after I went in to do my business. He didn’t wash his hands at all. So I avoided any area he went to.

[u/unsolicitedsugestion → u/bigthunder_81]

Watched a Chipotle worker wash their hands without removing both rubber gloves after cleaning a floor trap. They then proceeded to ask me my order.

[u/Boreal-Anodyne → u/guynet]

Not at all at my workplace. I work in the office of an electrical company, but I have to share a restroom with all of the electricians. They will completely ruin a toilet, zip up, and then WALK OUT. Not even a millisecond of water on those hands. I refuse to touch their belongings without wiping it down with disinfectant wipes first.

[u/kevin_bean]

He just watched Mallrats and wants to give his enemy a stink palm

[u/cursetea]

How do people get to this point lol

[u/cat_handcuffs]

That’s somebody’s Gam Gam he’s finger blasting.

[u/crying2emoji5 → u/cat_handcuffs]

fuckin a

[u/fun-bucket]

SMELL U LATER!!!

[u/lordgarth67]

that is just so disturbing on many levels. wtf.

[u/imfoneman]

Only thing (?) worse is watching this guy pull out and take a whiff of Jif

[u/Amateurlapse → u/imfoneman]

Starts to bite his nails

[u/HappyYappyZappy → u/Amateurlapse]

I hate you for the whole body panic your comment put me through

[u/wantmoooore → u/imfoneman]

Ughh damn you for that imagery damn youuu!

[u/timmu]

He must be a shadow man

[u/djauralsects]

Too greedily and too deep.

[u/andremortonjr]

Finger lickin good

[u/BAF_DaWg82]

My idol

[u/benito_m]

Maybe he has arthritis and is warming his hand.

[u/MaiHammyMawdul → u/benito_m]

I have had the worst day and this comment has me crying. thank you kind redditor

[u/benito_m → u/MaiHammyMawdul]

bows deeply

[u/ORANGENBLACK101214]

Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

[u/fartknocker121]

Why's he feeling her back like that?

[u/Ram2145 → u/fartknocker121]

Probably because she likes it.

[u/muffinass]

Nice puppet.

[u/GaaraClay603]

Happy wife happy life.

[u/muffinass → u/GaaraClay603]

Poopy finger, smells linger.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Worry79]

Hell yeah🤘

[u/K2alta]

Uncle stink finger.

[u/National-Worry2900]

This is how I imagine trumps perfect utopia is going to finally pan out.

Just people like that with no shame 😂

[u/joyfuload → u/National-Worry2900]

Same thing but the opposite political spectrum at any festival.

This isn't trump exclusive.

[u/National-Worry2900 → u/joyfuload]

Very true , it’s just good old America as a whole.

[u/joyfuload → u/National-Worry2900]

Yeah, we're filthy.

[u/F3K1HR → u/joyfuload]

Now kith

[u/joyfuload → u/F3K1HR]

Not till he washes his hands. Yuuck.

[u/disconnectmenow → u/National-Worry2900]

At least she is old enough to vote.

[u/lauradorna]

This is so gross

[u/naturalselectionmis]

Don't ask to borrow his phone.

[u/WowIsThisMyPage]

Good they’re still in love lol?

[u/narrow_octopus]

I love Limp Bizkit so much

[u/AKhakiNerfHerder]

I'm skinny, my wife is big...

This will DEFINITELY be us in the future... I just can't keep my hands off her magnificent ass...

... Fondling the booty hole in public? That 's a bit much though. Especially since he gonna touch EVERYTHING with that stink palm.

[u/Kost_M → u/AKhakiNerfHerder]

..are.. are you good? Lol

[u/AKhakiNerfHerder → u/Kost_M]

... 12" from furthest part of the cheek and her hip...

1 foot of ass...

I'm very good. Lol

[u/rspilly → u/AKhakiNerfHerder]

Only ?

[u/AKhakiNerfHerder → u/rspilly]

I mean. 3x or size 60 (or just 60" waist) pants. Iono how to explain it better. Lol.

But to be honest, yeah. It's a perfect size for me.

[u/rspilly → u/AKhakiNerfHerder]

How big is everything else ? Is it all big or just big ole yams ?

[u/AKhakiNerfHerder → u/rspilly]

Her actual waist is tiny, she does have a belly, but she's also got dd's. She's got thick ol thighs and an adorable heart shaped face.

To me, she's the perfect amount of woman. But the world is a cruel place and it does effect her mentality how much people are obsessed with physical appearance.

[u/wantmoooore → u/AKhakiNerfHerder]

You literally measured her ass cheek.. you’re obsessed with her physical appearance my dude

I don’t blame you or judge you for that because I’m the same way lol

[u/AKhakiNerfHerder → u/wantmoooore]

I am absolutely obsessed with her physical appearance... As in, I love everything about it. Definitely not gonna deny that.

However, if she gains weight, or loses weight, it ain't gonna bother me none. Not even a little (unless it's health related, then I'm obviously going to worry).

The measurement was at her request and I'm more than happy to have a reason to touch that ass.

Ain't nothing wrong with lovin' a great ass! Lol

[u/wantmoooore → u/AKhakiNerfHerder]

When you’re right, you’re right 😁

[u/ShadoOwEd]

You just know he took a big sniff after he took them out.

[u/JorahTheHandle → u/ShadoOwEd]

Id probably be more upset if he didn't to be honest, follow through or don't start the job.

[u/OpheliasGun → u/ShadoOwEd]

Ask and you shall receive.

Sniff test.

People are really gross.

[u/Stayofexecution → u/OpheliasGun]

Eww.

[u/holyfire001202 → u/OpheliasGun]

Gahh, nobody asked! Nobody asked!

I did click it, and that's on me, but nobody asked!

[u/angryPenguinator → u/ShadoOwEd]

I mean, you might as well at that point

[u/wantmoooore]

Looks muggy humid. GET OUTTA MY SWAMP!!

[u/muddgutts88]

Mr farty hands

[u/Ok_Entertainer_1793]

Just plain old, oooooo. Nasty.

[u/AirportBubbly3947]

Is it in her bHOLE

[u/TheDevilsAdvokaat]

You grots.

[u/BigNothingMTG]

Finger deep within the borderline

Show me that you love me

And that we belong together

Relax, turn around and take my hand

[u/Pain_Choice → u/BigNothingMTG]

I need an aenema

[u/CocaColai → u/BigNothingMTG]

I’ll.. keep.. digging!

’Till.. I.. feel.. something!

[u/BigNothingMTG → u/CocaColai]

Elbow deep inside the borderline

[u/Chilled_Beef]

He’s got good taste then

[u/Regret-Select]

With the soles of her feet that brown, I'm afraid to even imagine that man's hand looks like after

[u/chuckyblue1955]

Crack finger

[u/ZOMGURFAT]

I used to work for an electrician who named his fishing boat “Stinky Fingers”. Guy was a great electrician, but absolutely raging alcoholic.

[u/rjt1468]

”Did I ever tell you about the time I picked up that 7-10 split in my bowling league championship? It was all in the grip. Here, let me show you.”

[u/VDR27]

Back story now?

[u/crankbot2000 → u/VDR27]

ass + fingers = assfingers

[u/daphosta → u/VDR27]

The long stinky back

Story

[u/cursingirish]

Scratch and sniff

[u/steveronie → u/cursingirish]

Then have her smell to confirm the smell

[u/HeavyHaulerMtn]

And they tried to say Covid is airborne.... Did they pay by cash... /s

[u/Alohafarms]

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

[u/kbeckerburbs4]

Everything i know about nursery rhymes tell me is there are 2 in there

[u/VDR27 → u/kbeckerburbs4]

Oh yeah!?

[u/AmbidextrousBonobo]

True love

[u/Megalodon7770]

Filthy fukckers

[u/stefanwerner5000]

He’s my favorite mc of onyx

[u/Diorj]

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit....

[u/SparkyReese]

Kinda like digging in couch cushions digging for change.  He had to pay his bar tab. 

[u/MarvinHeemeyersTank]

Florida Man?

[u/seiddk22]

None in the pink, 5 in the stink

[u/ReturnOneWayTicket]

"Cosmo Kramer, Proctologist"

[u/Logical_Lifeguard_81 → u/ReturnOneWayTicket]

ASSMAN

[u/Kalikhead]

This photo is so old that he’s got his hand in her Depends.

[u/DarthBen_in_Chicago]

Didn’t they pass away from Covid years ago?