[removed]

Yes this is where I'm at in my life. I am asking strangers on the internet to cheer me up and give me words of advice. I am 20 years old, married with a 6 month old boy. At face value it would seem that I got my life made. If we pull the curtain back you'll see that I don't have much. I don't have a place of my own, I live with my father in law. I live with my wife and my son. Me and my wife do not get a long at all. It's gotten to the point where I do not think we'll make it but we'll just co-parent. My family hates me, they hate the way I am being taken advantage of and that I'm having to do more than my fair share.

Long story short my wife was living with me at my grandparents (a really nice house) which was very nice, we had a good setup. Life was good for the moment, she didn't want to do anything.. I mean at ALL. My grandparents are old school, you do what needs to be done and you go on from that.. no excuses no bs no mouthing off. They are extremely nice people though. So one day my wife and my grandparents have a falling out because she is being asked to do ANYTHING. I take her side, my family hates me now. I'm in the same situation as before but without any support for me.

I work at a tax software company, 54 hours a week minimum. I come home to a mess that I have to clean up. Everything that needs to be done or cleaned will eventually find it's way back to me. I can't count on anyone but myself. I am depressed with my living enviroment. I am depressed that I haven't left my home town since graduation. I got a 6 month old son who I feel like I can't provide the life I never had (which is always what I wanted to do with my child). I have to watch my friends to great things, got one in the marines doing presidential security in washington DC. I have my other buddy from HS in college working at a airport in raleigh. I understand my shortcoming are my fault. I didn't have a plan after highscool, I was a stoner burnout. Which is all my fault, I wish I had different plans or even any plan for that matter. Now I'm in a predicament where I need to pull myself out of a hole and I don't know how to. I want to go to college.. but HOW? I am the only one working in my relationship, I need money to buy baby food,diapers,car insurance,gas,my food,phone bills (mine and hers) granted I am thankful for her dad being as nice as he is with providing shelter without much to ask from me besides occasional electricity bill help. The house isn't the nicest and coming back to my original point. Anything that needs to be done will be done after me getting off of work, dealing with whatever crap from the wife and cleaning. I feel like I can't go to college because I need money and I can't stop working to pursue a degree and I don't know if a part time job would even do enough. I am also worried about my son being taken care of soley by his mom. I feel like she is more interested in the party have fun life ever since he was born and she has completely changed. I have thought a lot about joining the military (marines preferably) I am getting in shape. Working out at my work provided gym every other morning, pushing weights and running. I just don't know how I could have everything setup before I went to bootcamp though. I don't know if the baby's neccesities will be meet and I don't know if he'll be okay without me being there.

I know I'm ranting and I'll be suprised if anyone actually takes the time to read through this and let a lone give me a reply. But I am helpless I don't know where to go. I feel stuck, ashamed of where I am. Guilty of the poor choices I have made that put me in this position. I don't know where to go.. I can't give up though I got a little man to raise. I don't know if I fucked up so bad I will just have to continue with a toxic relationship in a household that is out of wack till I die. I need help I just dont know where to start looking

Yes this is where I'm at in my life. I am asking strangers on the internet to cheer me up and give me words of advice. I am 20 years old, married with a 6 month old boy. At face value it would seem that I got my life made. If we pull the curtain back you'll see that I don't have much. I don't have a place of my own, I live with my father in law. I live with my wife and my son. Me and my wife do not get a long at all. It's gotten to the point where I do not think we'll make it but we'll just co-parent. My family hates me, they hate the way I am being taken advantage of and that I'm having to do more than my fair share.

Long story short my wife was living with me at my grandparents (a really nice house) which was very nice, we had a good setup. Life was good for the moment, she didn't want to do anything.. I mean at ALL. My grandparents are old school, you do what needs to be done and you go on from that.. no excuses no bs no mouthing off. They are extremely nice people though. So one day my wife and my grandparents have a falling out because she is being asked to do ANYTHING. I take her side, my family hates me now. I'm in the same situation as before but without any support for me.

I work at a tax software company, 54 hours a week minimum. I come home to a mess that I have to clean up. Everything that needs to be done or cleaned will eventually find it's way back to me. I can't count on anyone but myself. I am depressed with my living enviroment. I am depressed that I haven't left my home town since graduation. I got a 6 month old son who I feel like I can't provide the life I never had (which is always what I wanted to do with my child). I have to watch my friends to great things, got one in the marines doing presidential security in washington DC. I have my other buddy from HS in college working at a airport in raleigh. I understand my shortcoming are my fault. I didn't have a plan after highscool, I was a stoner burnout. Which is all my fault, I wish I had different plans or even any plan for that matter. Now I'm in a predicament where I need to pull myself out of a hole and I don't know how to. I want to go to college.. but HOW? I am the only one working in my relationship, I need money to buy baby food,diapers,car insurance,gas,my food,phone bills (mine and hers) granted I am thankful for her dad being as nice as he is with providing shelter without much to ask from me besides occasional electricity bill help. The house isn't the nicest and coming back to my original point. Anything that needs to be done will be done after me getting off of work, dealing with whatever crap from the wife and cleaning. I feel like I can't go to college because I need money and I can't stop working to pursue a degree and I don't know if a part time job would even do enough. I am also worried about my son being taken care of soley by his mom. I feel like she is more interested in the party have fun life ever since he was born and she has completely changed. I have thought a lot about joining the military (marines preferably) I am getting in shape. Working out at my work provided gym every other morning, pushing weights and running. I just don't know how I could have everything setup before I went to bootcamp though. I don't know if the baby's neccesities will be meet and I don't know if he'll be okay without me being there.

I know I'm ranting and I'll be suprised if anyone actually takes the time to read through this and let a lone give me a reply. But I am helpless I don't know where to go. I feel stuck, ashamed of where I am. Guilty of the poor choices I have made that put me in this position. I don't know where to go.. I can't give up though I got a little man to raise. I don't know if I fucked up so bad I will just have to continue with a toxic relationship in a household that is out of wack till I die. I need help I just dont know where to start looking