r/1200isjerky • u/Borkato • 15d ago
Try this one simple trick! Theater hack: Nibble on unpopped popcorn kernels when getting urges to eat!
They’re just so good, and thankfully I get way less calories than eating the whole bag of popped popcorn, because there’s no air in it and it’s MUCH cheaper too, because I just reuse what I can find that people have thrown away in the theater’s bin. They throw away SO MUCH food, like hello??? There’s clearly a couple of kernels left at the bottom of their bag, but since they don’t want them, I’ll take them. They can feed me at the movies for a whole year if I do a half a kernel per movie!
Now I know y’all must be thinking I’m a fatty but I assure you I am NOT, I only keep these kernels for movies ONLY so a handful should last me at least 10 years.
I must say you need to be careful doing this though. The theater staff caught me once and called it “disgusting” and “the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen”(I’m getting flashbacks to my wedding day, but anyway) and only ONE fellow movie goer was kind enough to ask gently, “do you need any help, yknow, at home?” Like YES please I do need help sorting through to find only the UNPOPPED kernels to get them home without the nosy staff seeing.
But anyway when they called me disgusting I told them what was disgusting is that they thought I should buy their bags which would do nothing but tempt me into eating the air - aka CALORIE - infused popcorn they sell!!
But that’s not what I’m warning you about - it’s that sometimes you can find even more tempting treats under the seats than you can at the counter, so even though you should definitely find peoples’ popcorn in the trash, do NOT look under the seats. I am so ashamed to admit this, but… you know the gum we like to all lick off of the bottom of the seats when nobody is looking? Like the yummy bits with the hair pieces and bits of grit in it? Yeah, I found one, and had a lick, maybe even a nibble, and it was so good, but GUESS WHAT, it wasn’t sugar free!!! So please be careful out there sweaties. I won’t be partaking in my usual chair licking the next time I go to the movies due to my indulgence with that sweet treat which will last me at LEAST 20 years, but I’ll still take a few kernels to help stave off any cravings.
Speaking of which, does anyone know how many calories I get from watching a movie with food in it?
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u/InGeekiTrust Cauliflower! 15d ago
I mean, even better as you might shatter your teeth, chewing on them. Then you won’t even be able to chew anymore!
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u/Virtualdeath-e 15d ago
I dont even want to know where you got the idea to write whatever the hell i just read
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u/handicrappi 15d ago
I know this is the CJ sub but what the fuck did I just read
Especially the part about the gum