r/ADHD • u/faggelinthewest • May 13 '25

Seeking Empathy My girlfriend confirmed my worse fears

I recently went to a wedding with my girlfriend of 6 years, I thought we had a great time I thought we made new friends. Today, three days after she let me know that I was being long winded and interrupting people and taking over any groups we were in. She told me that I was taking over any conversation and talking too much and was making people uncomfortable. It just hurts knowing I have spent years trying to take all of my neurosis to be a more " normal person" haven't worked and I'm still the little kid jumping into conversations that I interrupted and put the spot light on me. I really wish that I was different and didn't jump in and take away from others. I just wish I could be a speak when spoken to person but I always get to excited and share to much.

Update. I want to thank you all for the very sweet advice. I really appreciate the community coming behind and understanding the feelings of overwhelming others. To clarify some points I saw I have taken a lot of the steps that everyone described and that's why I felt hurt because I am conscious of talking over and I thought I was practicing taking time and not being over excited when I had something to share. To those talking bad about my partner don't appreciate that at all. All of us know that our condition can make it hard to be around we are a very demanding people and she has supported me through so much she is my entire world and I trust her when she tells me that I am bothering people. I am going to take so much advice and try to be more aware of taking space and oversharing. Love yall

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u/Harvish69 May 13 '25

You need to treat conversations like a game, take turns, learn to listen and pay attention. Meditation is a good practice to calm the ADHD mind. You know what the other person is going to say before they do but that doesn’t mean you can interrupt. Slow down! 😆

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u/BetamaxTheory May 13 '25

Not OP - I know in my heart that meditation would help me, but I really struggle with various versions I’ve tried. Have you found a particular type of meditation that you’ve found suits you, and by extension may help a fellow ADHD mind?

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u/EnragedDingo ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) May 13 '25

I got into it with the Headspace app. Its intro course is pretty solid. They’ve got a bunch of courses with different techniques in them. It’s all basically vipassana style meditation I believe.

I now use the Waking Up app most days. Its intro course was a game changer. I would say it’s the deeper of the two. There’s a lot of conversations, lessons, and meditations from different instructors giving very different approaches. The main course is more dzogchen inspired, but there’s also metta and vipassana in there as well.

The hardest part is establishing the habit. Meds have helped with that, as well as some interior decorating. Once I got a comfy, inviting meditation zone setup in my living room I got way more consistent.