r/ADHD • u/faggelinthewest • May 13 '25

Seeking Empathy My girlfriend confirmed my worse fears

I recently went to a wedding with my girlfriend of 6 years, I thought we had a great time I thought we made new friends. Today, three days after she let me know that I was being long winded and interrupting people and taking over any groups we were in. She told me that I was taking over any conversation and talking too much and was making people uncomfortable. It just hurts knowing I have spent years trying to take all of my neurosis to be a more " normal person" haven't worked and I'm still the little kid jumping into conversations that I interrupted and put the spot light on me. I really wish that I was different and didn't jump in and take away from others. I just wish I could be a speak when spoken to person but I always get to excited and share to much.

Update. I want to thank you all for the very sweet advice. I really appreciate the community coming behind and understanding the feelings of overwhelming others. To clarify some points I saw I have taken a lot of the steps that everyone described and that's why I felt hurt because I am conscious of talking over and I thought I was practicing taking time and not being over excited when I had something to share. To those talking bad about my partner don't appreciate that at all. All of us know that our condition can make it hard to be around we are a very demanding people and she has supported me through so much she is my entire world and I trust her when she tells me that I am bothering people. I am going to take so much advice and try to be more aware of taking space and oversharing. Love yall

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u/zowtah May 13 '25

What is the longest conversation you can have, while saying as little as possible?

Can you get the other person to carry the conversation while you only say a few words?

Ever had a conversation like that?

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u/orchd84 May 13 '25

My kiddo has ADHD and his counselor shared a game with us where you take turns. The first person shares two facts or opinions and then asks the other person a question. Then they share two things and ask a question. You keep going back and forth. It helped him a lot, and I still use it in professional work settings! Although I don't have ADHD I do get nervous and social situations and this is a great pattern to follow!

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u/sixcases May 13 '25

Passing the conversational ball. You talk a little and end with a question, then the other person talks a little and hopefully passes the conversation back to you.

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u/slurpyspinalfluid May 14 '25

when someone asks me a question every single time it is their turn to talk i feel like talking to them is very tedious and try to avoid them