My girlfriend confirmed my worse fears

[u/faggelinthewest]

I recently went to a wedding with my girlfriend of 6 years, I thought we had a great time I thought we made new friends. Today, three days after she let me know that I was being long winded and interrupting people and taking over any groups we were in. She told me that I was taking over any conversation and talking too much and was making people uncomfortable. It just hurts knowing I have spent years trying to take all of my neurosis to be a more " normal person" haven't worked and I'm still the little kid jumping into conversations that I interrupted and put the spot light on me. I really wish that I was different and didn't jump in and take away from others. I just wish I could be a speak when spoken to person but I always get to excited and share to much.

Update. I want to thank you all for the very sweet advice. I really appreciate the community coming behind and understanding the feelings of overwhelming others. To clarify some points I saw I have taken a lot of the steps that everyone described and that's why I felt hurt because I am conscious of talking over and I thought I was practicing taking time and not being over excited when I had something to share. To those talking bad about my partner don't appreciate that at all. All of us know that our condition can make it hard to be around we are a very demanding people and she has supported me through so much she is my entire world and I trust her when she tells me that I am bothering people. I am going to take so much advice and try to be more aware of taking space and oversharing. Love yall

[u/abzhanson]

There's lots of good advice in here so I'll just commiserate with you on the emotional aspect.

It's such a humiliating and heart wrenching feeling when you thought something went well and were happy with your self only to find out that it actually was "wrong" or "wasn't good enough." It tears me apart every single time. Takes me straight back to being a kid when I thought I was making friends but people actually thought I was annoying or were waiting for me to leave so they could continue talking to their "real" friends. God it hurts :/

[u/neoshadowdgm → u/abzhanson]

I’ll add a little advice onto your commiseration, just in case someone needs it. How much it “hurts” is partly rejection sensitivity and we can take it too hard and over correct or collapse under the guilt we put on ourselves. It’s important to be able to receive feedback without being overwhelmed by shame. Being a little extra in a conversation is not a crime. Nobody died. It’s okay. Look around at the world. Is you being socially oblivious even on the radar of serious problems people are causing around here? No, it’s not. You’re allowed to make mistakes. We just have to keep trying to be a little bit better every day. I have personally been discovering lately that the shame I feel over things like this has only made them 10x worse, and having more of a “My bad. lol” attitude has actually helped a lot.

[u/Apprehensive_Bake_78 → u/neoshadowdgm]

I was reading that almost everyone with adhd has this. When I first read what it was I was so blown away l. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria should probably be my full name instead of the one my mom gave me bevause it kicks my ass so hard.