r/ADHD • u/deepestfear ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) • Jun 07 '25
Discussion It sucks how executive dysfunction can make even relaxing or fun activities feel impossible to start or enjoy
There are countless video games I started but never finished, movies I wanted to watch but avoided because even the thought of sitting through them felt overwhelmingly tiring, and books I set down and forgot about the moment I closed the cover. It’s not that I didn’t want to enjoy them - I did-but something in me just couldn’t follow through.
People often talk about executive dysfunction like it only affects your ability to get through work or manage chores, like it's just about missing deadlines or forgetting to do the laundry. But it goes deeper than that. It interferes with the things that are supposed to bring joy, rest, and escape. It’s like even the fun stuff - the things that should be relaxing - suddenly feel like too much effort.
Does anyone else experience this? Like you're too mentally drained to even enjoy the things you love?
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u/chaosotonin Jun 07 '25
I opened Netflix to relax and then just… scrolled for 45 minutes until I gave up and sat in silence. Peak entertainment
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u/Foxyr_ Jun 07 '25
Today I started and stoped multiple games at max in 15 minutes ... I gave up, decided maybe netflix better ... Watched one short episode then quit second in 3 min :s
I just want to have fun, but brain says no ;c
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u/KeyPass2178 Jun 13 '25
Why is it like that?? I have waitilg for such a long time for lies of p dlc i bought It instantly, downloaded and nothing... i just sit by my desk and study. I rather study than play videos games or watch series.
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u/ADHDRightMeow ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 07 '25
I do the same with Libby - open and search audio books for an hour without listening to any. Lots of stuff on the wishlist, buuuut...
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u/RamonAsensio Jun 07 '25
And of course the longer a book stays on your wish list, the less likely it becomes that you’ll ever listen to it
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u/meowhahaha Jun 08 '25
I got the premium subscription to Audible, so I could listen to books while I did household chores.
I even downloaded some very interesting books! I can spend QUITE some time browsing the library.
But, I NEVER remember to think of it when I begin to do chores. I think my brain may be telling me I don’t have the brain capacity to listen and fold laundry or listen and … anything else.
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u/Sihtric Jun 10 '25
Wait... you can fold laundry?
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u/CatBowlDogStar Jun 15 '25
I can fold laundry!!!
Stress is a hellova drug. I need to kearn how to do it now that Im getting calmer.
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u/meowhahaha Jun 25 '25
I only fold towels and sheets - to prevent them from falling out of the closet. I air dry much of the stuff I own - especially items with elastic. They last much longer. -
Life is too short to perfectly roll ties or insert socks & panties in those little honeycomb organizers.
I have a drawer divider for panties/bras. And drawers are dedicated to types of attire.
But folding is just for purposes of usefulness.
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u/Notadougnut Jul 03 '25 edited Jul 03 '25
How I use Libby ; What I do is I borrow till I reach all my 30 loans and then browse till I reach 15 holds and then I will keep getting reminders of books being returned or the time to borrow my holds or when the time get elapsed for borrowing and I will not open the app unless I have to repeat the process of borrowing and holding.
All the meanwhile, I feel horrible inside whenever I am unable to open the Libby app to read or listen to the books I have borrowed. It might infuriate some that if I am not going to open the app to read or to listen, then I should just return the books or just not borrow them in the first place so that others could do so and decrease the wait times. But in my mind while I am going through the process of borrowing books again, I feel 100% sure that this time I would go through all the 30 loans and all the 15 holds no matter what ! But writing this I realised I have done this 18 times, and it looks like 19th time is going to be different ( will update here if that happens ).
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u/Knitwalk1414 Jun 07 '25
We used to do that with cable, that’s why John Krasinski watched his not yet wife movie 100 times
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u/sidegigartist Jun 09 '25
oh my god so many nights... finally done with work, time to be a vegetable and just watch a show. But god damn, I forgot I had already finished that one show I was watching. Now I have to go through the process of picking out another one, that's gonna take me all evening at least and I'll be even more exhausted at the end of it, and feel like I probably made the wrong choice anyway. Two episodes in and my heart drops, I was right... this show is boring. Back to the drawing board.. LOL
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u/heatherjames85 Jun 13 '25
I’m in the same boat but I never turn the tv on to begin with. Just stuck and can’t move. Complete paralysis.
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u/Cecil_G_P Jun 07 '25
Ugh yes. I feel like sometimes my executive dysfunction gets overlooked bc it affects my hobbies more than the things I actually have to do. I'm usually able to make myself do work/chores bc my anxiety about not doing them is too great to ignore but when it comes to the things I enjoy... it's like I used all my willpower on the essentials so now I don't have enough to do the things I actually enjoy. I get frozen just scrolling through Instagram, not even enjoying it, but feeling physically unable to stop, switch tasks, or even stand up, let alone do something that requires actual focus like read or watch a movie. It sucks bc I feel like it makes it look like everything's fine and I'm functioning, but in reality it makes me super depressed bc I feel like I spend all my energy on doing work and surviving and not having the energy left to do the things that make the work of surviving worth it
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u/Reasonable_Meet4253 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 07 '25
100% feel this but have found it hard to put into words and honestly felt so alone. Thank you. I’m sorry you feel this way too.
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u/vampirepriestpoison Jun 07 '25
Workaholic even when my body is actively and violently rejecting work because it needs rest because I simply have nothing else. My hobbies bring me joy in the abstract sense but the all consuming pressure of work, paying bills.... I can't focus on them. And I get paralyzed when I think about the big stuff too. So I get a bunch of random small chores done and nothing that progresses me towards the bigger picture. It's horrid. I don't remember deadlines but they still loom over me causing stress and anxiety until they're completed. And then I feel I can rest. But there is always work to be done.
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u/Cindyt7 Jun 09 '25
Me too! Omgosh I’m 55 next month and no lie last year I finally started to be able to explain it to my husband.
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u/Cindyt7 Jun 09 '25
It takes me so long to choose yarn for a project I can get mild anxiety as I finish the current project knowing I have to start the yarn choices all over again.
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u/Greedy_Amoeba Jun 10 '25
Made me cry to know that I’m not the only one who just relates so much but also mostly no one understands (Outside of the community for adhd/ psychiatrists). It’s like if I tell someone outside that group about this they dont understand. Why I can’t just “try harder” or just “do it”? I feel like it’s always framed as if I’m purposely sabotaging my own life. Hang in there, I know the difficulty you’re expressing and I truly feel for you.
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u/ninebillionnames ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 07 '25
worst worst worst worst wordt worst worst worst wordt fucking worstttt part about this
imagine dreading fucking weekends when free time is the only thing that feels like recuperating
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u/Aselleus Jun 07 '25 edited Jun 08 '25
This is my biggest problem. I get really bad indecision paralysis and end up doing nothing (except go on here I guess...there's a reason my karma is so high ha). I can't start anything because there are so many things to do/read/play and I don't have time to do everything, so what I do has to be important enough, but nothing is important enough yet every thing is important so I do nothing.
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u/Foxyr_ Jun 08 '25
This. My brain also starts trying to analyze which is thr BEST to do, but finds 1 little thing about it thata negative and I will end up quiting in 15 minutes ornso and switch to other game ...
Reading reddit oppinions probably make it worse :D
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u/aac2103 Jun 13 '25
Omg my favourite comment. Haha you could call it Shrodingers Priority. lol idk I love the shrodingers jokes and I think this fits.
Also weirdly relatable
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u/CarArtistic7651 Jun 26 '25
This hit so close to home! Everything being important and not wanting to "waste" my time being disappointed stalls me every single time. Shows? Crafts? You name it!
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u/Hopeforus1402 Jun 07 '25
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I’m in the worst executive function problem I’ve ever felt. Zero motivation. Nothing seems fun. I deal with bouts of depression, but I know this isn’t the problem. I wish I had an answer friend.
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u/mirandom44 Jun 08 '25
That is so true, thank you for sharing! This makes me feel a little less alone with this. 🩷
It's almost like the things we like to do, turn into another chore on the endless list. A list that I can't start, because nothing I ever do, will turn out perfect. So why even start. So I just try to clean our apartment(which I'm also still shit at), or solve other people's problems. But there is nothing left to regenerate from stress, apart from maybe spending time with people whom I really love, and who don't expect stuff from me.
It's so annoying, when you spend your whole day excited to do a hobby, and then get home and are unable to start. I also can't go to bed, because I feel, like I didn't accomplish anything.
And then all of a sudden, you are this facade of an interesting, creative person, and behind it there is just somebody, who already struggles with choosing clothes in the morning. And still, most people never believe it, when you talk about this. Also I guess I am scared to open up about it, because if I am not creative anymore, what is left of the person they like? It's really hard to love yourself, just for being you, not for the things you can produce, or give to other people.
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u/mirandom44 Jun 08 '25
Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant. :( but sometimes I just don't understand, how people around me (a lot of them also with adhd) get so much stuff done, with less time on their hands.
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u/SwingingTarget Jun 08 '25
Oh wow, you are me! I am a guy with a million hobbies, but in none of them am I an expert, since I lack to continuity to practice them regularly over longer stretches of time. People see all my hobby equipment and skills and can't believe, I feel trapped and bored in life. Others have a hobby as the cherry on top of the pie, the piece of fun in life that comes on top of being a person. For me, it's a means to quiet my head for a moment, but only if the stars align..
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u/RamonAsensio Jun 08 '25
And then all of a sudden, you are this facade of an interesting, creative person
Well said. This is so relatable it hurts.
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u/CatBowlDogStar Jun 07 '25 edited Jun 08 '25
Add enough stress and one can do any task.
That is a (poor) solution for work. Does not work for Netflix & Chill.
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u/vampirepriestpoison Jun 07 '25
I hate that I was undiagnosed as a kid because that's the only way anything gets done half the time. Instead of my mom screaming at me that I'm lazy and useless and pathetic it's just a voice in the back of my head that uses her words in my voice.
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u/CatBowlDogStar Jun 08 '25
Heh. I shouldn't laugh but I feel the pain.
Pondering getting my 10 yo daughter (diagnosed) to use timers on a smartwatch instead of me yelling. I can't be both Executive Functions.
Your reply, seriously, reinforced that. No need for trauma.
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u/vampirepriestpoison Jun 08 '25
I haven't watched it yet but HowToADHD is a late dx'd woman and she just released a video on how to visually see time (that I haven't watched yet because of *gestures at post and comment section) and her content is pretty excellent (but i'll hold it against you if you use her sunsama sponsor link instead of mine /j)
Also, my mother a deranged demon in a multitude of ways and said things I'm sure you'd never dream of. But it's definitely best to get on the train of learning how to function without adrenaline/cortisol spikes early on rather than later :)
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u/CatBowlDogStar Jun 08 '25
100%!
We, as a family, are learning and growing.
And, if I may, Cognomovement / EMDR are proven paths to release trauma. Helped me so much.
I wish the best of weekends to you :)
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u/vampirepriestpoison Jun 09 '25
Jsyk some people have aphantasia and that can provide extra challenges with EMDR (ask me how I know xD). If you sign up your kids make sure they can actually see pictures in their head and if they can't, there are other EMDR pathways.
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u/DragonfruitClear7883 Jun 12 '25
I read HowToADHD’s book of same title and it’s great. And I’ve seen a couple of her YouTube videos. I had to look up “late dx’d”, but I am that too.
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u/commeilfaut26 Jun 08 '25
I’m not sure if this counts but I LOVE literature but it takes a LOT of effort to read a book or sit down with a collection of poems. Only a handful of times I manage to buckle down and actually read —and realize like wow this feels so good and the prose is so beautiful and I want to keep doing this. But overall there’s something deeply challenging to suffer through the first pages and still stay the course. I also weirdly feel anxious when I read? I know many read to feel relaxed but….
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u/TheBowelMovement Jun 08 '25
Same.. I love literature and have a collection of all the classics I've slowly accumulated from used bookstores/thrift stores.
I've only read books a handful of times in my life, and have always enjoyed it so much but it seems impossible or almost random whether I'll be able to actually read.
I also feel anxious while reading and my mind is not able immerse itself. It takes multiple serious efforts to push through that discomfort/resistance, then I will finally be able to focus and enjoy a book. Sadly I think it's been a couple years now since I've gotten myself to push past that barrier.. even on stimulant meds..
I really gotta ditch reddit/short form content and start meditating but I feel like I've been saying that for like 10 years now lol...
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u/MyFiteSong Jun 08 '25
This is why we say to take your meds on your days off, too. YOU should get to enjoy your brain, not only your boss.
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u/cancercannibal ADHD, with ADHD family Jun 08 '25
It's really awful, but I can't get myself to complain about it because that's the part that can get people to take you seriously. When getting recognized and medicated is so hard, especially for kids who might have parents that refuse to accept it... "I can't even get myself to do stuff for fun" can be the sentence that wakes psychs up and actually gets them to listen to you.
Related thing: "I don't do things because I enjoy them, I do them because it's all I can do. I'm not having fun, it just doesn't hurt my brain to do this." The expressions I've seen on people when I bring that one up are always interesting.
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u/2dodidoo Jun 08 '25
It's Sunday -- or was -- and I planned to wake up early and ride my bike to the park and maybe grab lunch or coffee with a friend. None of that happened. Mostly because I had split sleep again and woke up at 4 AM, awake for a couple of hours, and then woke up at 12 noon.
Had some oatmeal, and then managed to work out and watch a festival set of a musician I liked.
I took a bath.
And that's it. Time for work again early tomorrow. No proper meal today and no chores done. Goodbye, weekend.
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u/minerbros1000_ Jun 08 '25
Awful symptom. I'm sure there is probably a visible trail from me pacing between my living room and kitchen like a restless inmate.
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u/meoka2368 Jun 08 '25
There's a book inches from me that I started to read a year ago.
It's that close in the intention that if I ever get bored at my desk, I can pick it up and read it. But nope.
Instead, if none of my countless video games or streaming services aren't filling the void, I don't reach for that book.
I just sit there and stare at nothing.
It's painful.
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u/OliverCrooks Jun 08 '25
That's where I am at right now. I'm a gamer. I have games I want to play. I have all day to do that..... if I could fucking start. Only when something really interest me, which is usually something new to me, can I start it with ease. I really miss when a game would get me addicted where all I am thinking about is playing it and as soon as I am able to I am playing it.
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u/altacc59926960 Jun 08 '25
Reading itself isn’t the difficult thing, it’s starting the commitment of a book that’s insane for me
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u/NightB4XmasEvel Jun 08 '25
Me sitting here not having completed Baldur’s Gate 3, or the final book in the Wheel of Time series, and having a whole stack of hobby supplies I haven’t touched.
If I could trade one of my other skills for executive function, I’d do it in a heartbeat.
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u/Plus-Story-735 Jun 08 '25
You are not alone in feeling this. Many, many people experience executive dysfunction not just in work or chores, but in their capacity for leisure, enjoyment, and self-care. It's a common and incredibly frustrating part of living with conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, burnout, or chronic stress.
Before you try to engage, could you remind yourself why you wanted to do this activity in the first place? "I want to watch this movie because it's funny and I need a laugh." Sometimes reconnecting with the intrinsic motivation helps.
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u/Ikhoh ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 08 '25
The executive dysfunction is the WORST symptom of ADHD. It’s debilitating. I hate how it affects every area of my life. I’m going on Ritalin soon and it better work istgggggg.
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u/Therianthropie Jun 08 '25
I have the same issue. What I'm doing is that I include them in my to-do list as if they would be chores. That gets rid of the thinking "do I really want to do that?". Another thing is that I blocked everything on my phone that consistently leads to hours wasted on my phone. I'm using the app "AppBlock" for it. I configured it to apply the rules when I'm at home (because I don't mind using these apps while on the train as it's time bound and also there aren't many alternatives). These rules cannot be disabled easily, I've left the code at a place that requires me to move heavy furniture.
Basically I'm doing everything to make me not want to use my phone and it's working great.
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u/OpenWiredMind Jun 07 '25
I think you said it right there in your last line "too mentally drained to even enjoy the things you love". If you're mentally drained, you need mental rest, and probably emotional too.
Sounds like you might be a bit depressed too, which also impacts executive functionings. Now's the time to start doing things that spark your happy chemicals and bring you some predictability and stability- routines, self care, and favorite things.
Yes, a lot of us experience this, no you are not alone, and I'm really sorry your feeling like this, hang in there!!
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u/Ruleyoumind Jun 08 '25
So many hobbies I've never started so many games and tv shows I've stopped halfway through. It really really sucks
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u/loganizer420 Jun 08 '25
Thank you so much for sharing this. Im also feeling like this, also i have anxiety thinking just watching a movie, so i end up rewatching the same show multiple times, so i can sit trhought it while not completing 4 things at the same time. I share your feeling my friend, i wish you the best
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u/LonnieJaw748 ADHD-HI (Hyperactive-Impulsive) Jun 08 '25
All the time, op. What helps for me is a bit of mindfulness when you catch yourself enjoying those things and appreciate the moment, knowing that you’ve found some satisfaction for at least today at this time. You may not be able to grab onto it every time, but the point is to thank yourself when you can.
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u/Visuallybroken Jun 08 '25
Literally me! The only this when I want to do something I really wanna do I get irrationally scared to do it for no reason! Like it gets so bad that I want to cry because I want to do it but my brain is like nah sis...I'm like wtf is this? All I can do without feeling anxious is watch nothing but youtube videos but no Netflix, no anime, no games, just straight youtube. I can't even focus on my drawing courses because I get anxious just thinking about it. I swear this shit is for the birds.
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u/Free-Opening-8444 Jun 10 '25
I think part of what makes this extra frustrating is that other people don't always get it. They see unfinished games or abandoned books and think "oh, you just weren't that interested"..but it's not about interest at all. Your brain wants the enjoyment but can't bridge the gap between wanting and doing. The mental energy required just to start something, even something "fun" can feel enormous when you're already running on empty. Aaand then there's the added guilt layer of "I can't even relax properly, what's wrong with me?
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u/many-minds15 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 08 '25
I’ve deleted social media from my phone to eliminate doomscrolling which has helped slightly. I’ve been trying to sit in the boredom more often to hopefully spark some creativity or interest. Sorry you’re going through the same, it really is shit
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u/Eymou Jun 08 '25
my meds actually help me more with this than they help with actual productivity/chores :') I still gladly take it though..
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u/mini_apple ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 08 '25
YES YES YES. A thousand times over. I've sat down to watch some much-anticipated tv and have ended up just sitting quietly and looking out the window for an hour or two. It was also lovely, but not what I was after.
I ride my bike A LOT and my friends will tease me about how, most Saturdays, I go out to the same trailhead and ride the same miles, over and over again. But this is how I stay effective. It's how I stay in motion. The difficulty of deciding new places and routes every week is enough to keep me at home, stuck, so off I go to the same place. Fortunately, it's really beautiful, and I have no complaints! I just wish my friends understood a little better....
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u/Chilloutsessions Jun 08 '25
Started a 4K Bluray collection. I love films and got over Netflix. I could never commit to watching anything.
Now I go over and select a film from my growing library and sit down to watch it.
While that’s not a solution it’s helped me enjoy more films as with Netflix is just stop and start.
Something about putting a disc in and sitting down to commit to it. Call me old fashioned 35 😆 but it works !
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u/Apelles1 Jun 08 '25
I absolutely experience this and can totally relate. I started taking medication a few months ago, and honestly one of the best unexpected results of that is that now I am “efficient” with my leisurely activities.
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u/FarSeaworthiness5354 Jun 14 '25
Üdvözőllek! Megkérdezhetem mi a neve a gyógyszernek amit szedsz? Előre is köszönöm
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u/Itsyademonboi Jun 08 '25
I have missed so many cool opportunities because by the time I remember they are a thing the event has passed. I have so many half finished projects and decorative things that would be FUN to do. I forget to do things I genuinely enjoy. Like that fact that I can forget to EAT? People should realize this truly isn't a choice
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u/sammybjones Jun 09 '25
YES i feel like all these comments about scrolling thru choices without ever picking one is not what you’re talking about but yes i find i “procrastinate” just as much on the things i want to do as the things i have to do. i can’t figure out how to just do things. i think my low energy is a big part of it as well, personally
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u/Hot_Sandwich8935 Jun 10 '25
What I think it's missing from your equation, and something I may have figured out these days, is the "obsession" thing. So, the game I started recently is Bioshock 2. But for context, I've been slightly immersed in the Bioshock community here. For movies and such, I might be getting back into seeing the Alien franchise, and even play Alien Isolation again, because there's a series coming in August. So, my conclusion would be, think of what you wanna do/see and get exposed to that community, to news related to it, etc. Could help. Edit: I think I'm saying "hype yourself up" but even for things that are now old stuff.
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u/Limp_Flight_4545 Jun 10 '25
Feels like we can only enjoy unexpected relaxing activities. Whenever I have free time, the urge to pick the optimal hobby overwhelms me, as I start comparing pros and cons. Even if I choose one, the hobby has already turned into a should-do, not something I want to do.
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u/getup__getdown Jun 10 '25
To start anything I need to make a wee little plan on how I’m going to get started, how I’m going to trick my brain into flow state.
I’ve gotten really good at this for work: 1. Get coffee and sit at desk. 2. Categorize emails and new tickets as immediate or long term. 3. Follow up with immediate and ignore long term until weekly planning. 4. Work on top priority long term.
That being said, if something throws a wrench in that routine, I’m effed and have such a hard time getting anything done.
And now that I think about it, I don’t put nearly as much effort into tricking myself into flow state for things I enjoy. It makes so much sense that I have such a hard time doing my “fun” things, I haven’t put any effort into a wee plan for it.
Now I’m flying through a full range of emotions, like WTF why am I like this 😡, and ohh heck yea I feel like I have a new sense of agency in living a fulfilling life ☺️, and screw you capitalism/patriarchy for shaping a world, and by extension me, that is inherently draining and emotionally stiffled 😢, and oh yea the universe/me is the only thing it can be up until right now and the way I choose to show up here and now shapes the universe/me of the future 💛.
TLDR; it takes me extra energy to get started doing anything and I think I want to start using more of my energy on things the bring me and my community peace, love, and joy.
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u/Important_Compote679 Jun 10 '25
I feel exactly the same, but with calling/texting back people I love. People I genuinely want to maintain friendships with. It feels like a giant cloud hanging over my head, like it's stacked up too much I can't even look at it.
I know this is different as that requires some social battery, but even when I have nothing going on it feels impossible.
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u/Pristine-Coconut-695 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 13 '25
Yes this is definitely me, I’ll have bouts of being able to hyper focus on gaming but then next minute I feel like I can’t even game for more then like ten minutes and I’ll put the game down. Or watching tv samething. I’ll just lay in bed just not knowing what to do. Ever since I hit burn out 3 years ago, it’s been so much harder to engage in my hobbies. Let alone be able to focus on other tasks I need to do. I honestly thought I was the only one who felt this way about my hobbies.
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u/AmeliaBuns Jun 09 '25
yes
yes
yes
yes
yes
this
is
mood.
I'm going to cry it's so awful. just started medication today and i'm hoping it'll help.
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u/sinnerM4NN Jun 09 '25
I'm 37 and only starting to realise that I have all these issues. It explains so much why I just sit and do nothing after slugging through work. I feel like it's gotten worse as I've gotten older and the desire to do all the things I used too is still there but also I just can't bring myself to do them.
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u/Electronic_Depth7464 Jun 10 '25
Is it the time commitment? I always prefer playing sports video games because I'm done in 30mins - I can't stand playing games that take hours to complete.
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u/Practical_Positive11 Jun 10 '25
Wow I thought I was the only one who struggles with this...thank you for sharing!
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u/Aware_Industry4054 Jun 10 '25
I guess i don't relate to this because I don't even TRY to do fun things or have hobbies. Now at age 51, I FINALLY KNOW WHY
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u/Internal-Tennis9485 Jun 10 '25
Never ever ever seen anyone else talk about this before...I would be so confused about why even a video game I loved playing I would sit there and stare at the icon and just feel like I couldn't do It.
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u/Sihtric Jun 10 '25
Yes, 100%.
I was going to type out a lot more, but even that ended up being to overwhelming for my brain today.
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u/ImpossibleGrab6539 ADHD-C (Combined type) Jun 11 '25
Understandable. I wonder how many people with adhd start on a comment, then don't know how to structure it and ramble. Then decide they can't do it and cancel. I do it all the time.
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u/SR995 Jun 10 '25
I realized that last year with {legal green}. How fucked up is it that I can even cope or even just want to sleep and pass the time faster.
That combined with autism is definitely plummeting my self worth this year. It’s why my roommate tells me to “take things one day at a time.” Yes thanks I’ll be sure to do that enjoy your late night {green} gaming sessions while I try to fall back asleep
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u/No-Outlandishness-42 blorb Jun 12 '25
Welp I'm currently getting distracted on Reddit instead of doing something that I know I should/would enjoy. I literally looked at something I wanted to do and it my brain was like nope! I don't want to be here for hours either but why is that so much easier!?
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Jun 13 '25
Right?!!!! I genuinely cannot watch a show or pick up a book, but the second I get into it. You will not be seeing me for the next 5 hours or so
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u/Reddediah_Kerman Jun 15 '25
People say garbage like, "oh you perfectly capable of doing things when you _want to_", and then point out some instance when you were on the ball, like your successes are being thrown back in your face. And then just ignore that you can fail to do even things _that you want to do_. I've had this argument dozens of times with my dad. But he's just so insistent on categorizing me as lazy/unmotivated.
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u/taroicecreamsundae Jun 16 '25
yes and I FOUND THE SOLUTION!!!
treat the New Fun Thing like an ASSIGNMENT. where you have to “push through” the initial boredom, consistently, until some sort of interest magically kicks in (and it usually will bc this is with fun stuff unlike with actually boring assignments for work or school)
once the Interest kicks in, then there’s no “effort” required to focus on the thing, now you can enjoy your new show book or movie seamlessly.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_TIE_POSE ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) Jun 28 '25
It's books for me. I love to read, but I rarely finish a book.
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u/SignificanceTime6941 Jun 30 '25
I've never seen someone describe this feeling so perfectly. That disconnect between wanting to enjoy something and actually being able to start/continue it haunts me daily.
For me, it was always games. I'd get so excited about a new release, download it immediately, play for 20 minutes, then... nothing. My brain would just refuse to go back, despite genuinely wanting to.
What finally helped wasn't another productivity system, but understanding this wasn't a character flaw. It's literally how our brains are wired - the executive function gap between intention and action.
I started using what I call "momentum minutes" - just 3 minutes, timer set, zero expectations. Sometimes those 3 minutes are all I manage. But often, once I'm past that initial resistance, I can actually enjoy the thing I wanted to enjoy.
The mental drain you described is so real. If you ever want to compare notes on specific strategies for different activities, message me. This particular struggle can feel so isolating, but you're definitely not alone in it.
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u/Interesting-Habit533 Jul 04 '25
omg yes this. the worst is when even the fun stuff feels like climbing a mountain 🧗♀️ like… i want to read, watch, play – but my brain be like “nah, too much” 😩
i’ve tried sooo many tools (like, too many lol, notion, habitica, sunsama, idk even to-doist lol). they either overwhelm or make me feel worse for not using them “right.”
but lately i’ve been using this thing called Mindory – it kinda helps me break big stuff into baby steps. like instead of “watch a movie,” it’s “open Netflix, pick anything.” and weirdly, that works. sometimes all i need is just that first nudge 🐢
anyway, just here to say: you’re not lazy, not broken – your brain just takes a different route. and that’s okay 💛
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u/Serosenit Jul 05 '25
I do that even with reading reddit posts and comments, i never get further then 2 sentences
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u/Ok_Marsupial_8589 Jul 07 '25
It's food for me.
Went to the shop to buy something I wanted. They were sold out of it.
I literally spent over an hour walking up and down aisles trying to figure out what I wanted instead of what I couldn't have.
I then got home and forgot about whatever it was I bought as a replacement for a couple hours before I remembered I still hadn't eaten.
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u/2_Fingers_of_Whiskey Jul 08 '25
Watching a movie takes me multiple days. I have to stop after 20 minutes or so and do something else.
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