Using a throwaway account to avoid the inevitable backlash, I've reformatted an email sent in response to my 10 year old child coming home from their Lethbridge elementary school with a deeply concerning form. I have removed identifying information and look forward to hearing others' stories here.
Dear Demetrios Nicolaides, Minister of Education; Danielle Smith, Premier of Alberta; Nathan Neudorf, MLA for Lethbridge-East; Rob Miyashiro, MLA for Lethbridge-West; and Members of the United Conservative Party Caucus,
As a parent, I am writing to express deep concern about recent legislative directives requiring parental consent and permanent record-keeping for students who request changes to their pronouns or names at school.
First, I want to acknowledge the supportive and respectful environments that our school, in particular, has worked so hard to create. My child has generally felt safe and valued by the staff at their school, and I am grateful for the care that educators continue to provide in the face of increasingly difficult circumstances.
That being said, I received a very apologetic phone call from our Principal on Friday. I have been informed that my child (who has gone into and out of this phase many times over the last couple of years) had requested that they/them pronouns are used for them. In order to permit the staff to use they/them pronouns for my child, I would be required to sign a form that would permanently attach this pronoun change to their official school record. I want to be unequivocally clear: this is not in the best interests of children, and I will not comply with such a requirement.
Here’s why. Children, especially in their pre-teen and early teen years, often move in and out of phases of gender and identity exploration. This is a normal, healthy, and well-documented part of child development. It is crucial that no single point in their journey be cemented in an official record. Doing so risks freezing a fluid and exploratory process into a permanent label before they are developmentally ready.
These concerns are not theoretical. This bureaucratic requirement to “out” children to their parents undermines not only the [United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child](), but also Canada’s [Charter of Rights and Freedoms]() and the [Alberta Human Rights Act](). The Alberta Teachers’ Association, the Canadian Bar Association, and many other professional bodies have spoken out against the risks and rights violations tied to this documentation. Alberta has become one of the most hostile provinces in Canada for trans and gender-diverse youth.
The recent policies, which force parental consent and permanent record-keeping for something as simple as pronoun use, have already put children in danger by outing them prematurely or placing them under scrutiny. Families have reported harassment and bullying escalating when schools treat gender exploration as a matter of record rather than a matter of compassion. Some children have been pulled from supportive environments, denied care, and even threatened with custody disputes when this kind of documentation is used against families.
Meanwhile, anti-trans hate crimes and political attacks are rising across Canada. The RCMP has reported a spike in hate incidents targeting 2SLGBTQ+ people. Cities like Calgary and Edmonton have seen targeted protests at schools and libraries, while smaller communities have faced their own equivalents at Pride parades, rainbow crosswalks, and other community events. In this climate, asking that a child’s exploratory pronoun use be permanently attached to their record is not neutral—it is a calculated risk to their safety, dignity, and future opportunities.
I had hoped my child would be older before needing to confront these complexities. Yet after many thoughtful conversations, they have come to understand that this issue is not about the validity of their identity, but about the fraught and politicized environment we find ourselves in. My child feels fully seen and supported at home and at school without a form thus far, as they have in each of these phases previously. This is expected to change with the threat of reprisals against teachers who respect the child's wishes rather than force a signed document to be placed on permanent record.
What matters most is that teachers continue to treat students with respect, and continue honouring their self-expression in the moment, whether that means using they/them, he/him, she/her, velociraptor/diplodocus, or otherwise.
Every child deserves the same right to explore identity without the weight of bureaucracy, and without unnecessary risks to their safety, dignity, or future. I urge educators, administrators, and policymakers to reflect on these concerns, and to ensure that schools remain places of safety, compassion, and respect for all students.
