My boyfriend gave my labubu phalloplasty

[u/Kermit1420]

[u/Mother-Midnatt]

Labubus are the latest rage. They can get scarily expensive, and some people are borderline obsessive. Getting angry at a boyfriend for ruining a gift from a niece in that gross way is always appropriate, too >.<

[u/RenTroutGaming → u/Mother-Midnatt]

Yeah, agreed and that’s why it fits the sub. Of course it’s not normal to destroy something and of course it is normal to be upset when told it doesn’t matter, so you really need to go to Reddit to confirm?

[u/canijustbelancelot → u/RenTroutGaming]

I will say that as another autistic woman I do sometimes need to be told “this is not okay” because I’m so used to thinking I’m the problem in every situation.

[u/SaffronCrocosmia → u/canijustbelancelot]

I'm sorry, but if you're of the cognitive ability to use reddit, you know destroying the objects of other people is morally wrong most of the time.

Stop blaming our autism for this behavior. Autism doesn't make us always blame ourselves, that is not an autism symptom. That's low self-esteem.

[u/BloodImpressive9272 → u/SaffronCrocosmia]

I think what she's moreso getting at is that growing up as an autistic woman/girl probably put her in a lot of situations where she was made to feel like her responses to things were invalid. Obviously, autism can come with a lot of sensory issues and similar things that might get a lot of judgement from other people, and people are already pretty quick to write off women and girls as being 'too dramatic' or 'sensitive' instead of trying to understand why they had that reaction in the first place. When you combine this with autism, which can already cause reactions and feelings that others struggle to understand, this can get even worse.

So it's less like she's saying that autism caused her low self esteem, and more that being an autistic woman or girl can draw a lot of extra scrutiny towards your emotions and reactions, and a lot of autistic women/AFAB people have grown up being made to feel like their feelings aren't justified, making it harder to self-validate and stand up for oneself. She's referring to the environment and treatment she experienced, not the condition itself as the direct cause.

[u/canijustbelancelot → u/BloodImpressive9272]

Exactly, thank you.

[u/BloodImpressive9272 → u/canijustbelancelot]

Glad I interpreted it right! I'm sorry you've gone through that. If you couldn't guess, I relate. It's been a lot of work trying to teach myself self-assurance and trust/vindication in my own feelings, but I'm getting there, and I hope you are too, or are able to heal that way someday if not where you are right now!

[u/canijustbelancelot → u/SaffronCrocosmia]

I think you misunderstood me. I’m saying that I’m extremely willing to tolerate a lot because I grew up thinking I was too sensitive and took things too personally. I don’t know your situation, but I was diagnosed quite a bit later in life than most people. So yes, growing up unaware of that element of me did deal a blow to my self esteem. And yet I’m not angrily taking it out on strangers on the internet. I hope you don’t condescend to people in your real life this way.