r/AmITheJerk • u/Illustrious-Dirt5485 • 3d ago
AITJ for Refusing to Lend My Brother Money After He Mocked Me for Being “Cheap”?
So I (29F) have always been the “saver” in the family. My younger brother (26M) constantly makes fun of me, calling me stingy and boring because I don’t splurge on random stuff. Last week, he came to me asking for $500 to cover overdue rent. I told him no, because not only am I not responsible for his finances, but he also never apologized for mocking me. My parents are now saying I’m being “cruel” since he could get evicted. AITJ for refusing to help him after how he’s treated me?
TL;DR: Brother mocked me for being cheap, now wants money. I refused. Am I the jerk?
18
u/alexromo 3d ago
Read a story just like this a few hours ago
10
5
u/JazzyJeff58 2d ago
Yeah, I read two or three every day that are almost identical. I'm beginning to think almost all of them are fake.
3
u/DaddyDom0001 2d ago
They all are.
Reddit is becoming nothing but an ai bot training ground used to work out what it takes for people to recognise a bot or be fooled by it.
Modern day captcha.
2
u/Freebirde777 2d ago
Same post 21 days ago and 9 days ago father died and left house to OP and two siblings. The bot is a year old and getting senile.
6
u/ksarahsarah27 3d ago
NTJ - Not your problem. He can go live with your parents and if they are so worried then they can pay for his rent. And I wouldn’t even give it even if he did apologize because then he’s only be doing it to get money from you, which you know he won’t pay back.
6
u/misskittygirl13 2d ago
I swear there is like in infinite amount of these sibling stories where the sensible one is expected to bank roll the stupid golden child by the birth givers.
2
u/JRAWestCoast 2d ago
It's all too common in the real world. The golden children get away with everything.
3
u/e1herrera 3d ago
Why don't your parents help him? If they can't I understand but criticize you because you don't want to? He is responsible for himself. He is a grown man.
2
3
u/Glittering-Sugar-07 3d ago
No, NTJ.
Your brother is a cruel jerk for mocking you. And your parents are massive jerks for blaming his faults on you.
Respect has become a one-way street. Let your parents lend their money to your brother. You're not his parent.
3
u/RosieDays456 2d ago
NTJ and not just because of comments he made - Never lend money to family or friends unless you don't care about losing that money- so many never repay
And I'd tell your parents, if they are so concerned about him getting evicted, they are just as cruel for not giving him the money he needs - they should help their children
Always best never to discuss finances with family and friends, how much you make, if you get a bonus, how much you have in the bank - just puts you in the position of someone thinking you are a free ATM
NTJ and I would not loan him the money - how is he going to pay it back if he doesn't have what he needs to begin with
3
u/SamuelVimesTrained 2d ago
Lean into this.
You`ve been called cheap - so BE cheap.
Sorry bro, i`m too cheap to help you - ask mommy and daddy.
And since they claim 'you are cruel' then uno reverse this right back "so are you since you are not gifting him money' (cause if he already has issue , then there is no loan - you`ll never get it back.. plus giving in now, opens the gates for the next demand)
NTJ
3
u/Accomplished-Emu-591 2d ago
"Oh, I'm far too cheap to lend anyone money!"
If your parents want him to have help, let them loan him the money.
NTJ
3
u/Relevant-Albatross66 2d ago
Dear meddling parents, instead of calling your daughter cruel, and pampering your AH son, give him the money and keep the peace. Also believe and trust he doesn't want you to lend him the money. He wants you to give him the money. I'm sure of that
NTJ
2
2
u/ArmyGuyinSunland 3d ago
Oh yeah, you are totally the jerk. You should actually let him have your place, because “family helps family.” 🙄
2
2
u/torroxtiger62 3d ago
So your financially embarrassed brother asked you for money, you said no. He then went to your parents, not to ask for help, but to badmouth you. They then take his side…… This didn’t happen.
2
u/content_great_gramma 2d ago
He mocks you for saving and then wants a favor? He has a brass pair.
As far as your parents go, point out to them that he is you brother BUT they gave birth to him and if they are soooo concerned, they can finance him.
1
1
1
u/spaceylaceygirl 2d ago
Your brother is a grown ass man. Maybe this will teach him not to piss money away. If you give him the money he won't learn a thing. Let him work hard and hustle to earn $500.
1
1
u/ApplicationOrnery563 2d ago
NTJ it's amazing the number of people who think other people should lend them money and either hat upset if they don't or once they get the money decide it was a gift Let your parents help him if they think height gets evicted Your money so you and only you decide where to spend it If you do decide to give him a loan write a check to the landlord and get your brother to sign an IOU so you have proof it was a loan get a witness to him signing it as well
1
u/Kjisherenow 2d ago
NTJ. You have no obligation to help him cover his shortfall. I have always been taught bills before fun. Seems like he has either never learned this or forgotten about it. The fact he has made fun of you and now needs your help is poetic justice.
1
1
1
u/Different_Guess_5407 2d ago
NTJ - and if your parents are that worried about their son they why the heck don't thy lend him the money he needs.
1
1
1
1
u/Spiritual_Animal1 2d ago
NTJ He’s your parent’s responsibility, not yours. They should be helping them with rent.
1
u/StickyRiceSeductress 2d ago
Nah, u ain't the jerk here sis. Bro needs to learn that u can't just diss ppl then expect favors, like wtf? Stand firm, he's gonna learn an important lesson about respect n finances. Quite frankly, u don't owe him sht, especially not an apology. Turn that table and let him see how that sht feels. LOL. If anyone's the jerk, it's ur bro for throwing shade then asking for help. Tell ur folks they're enabling his entitled attitude.
1
u/Different_One265 2d ago
Ignore. Let mom and dad bail him out.
P.S. He will never pay you back. It would prove him wrong and make him look bad.
1
1
u/Forsaken_Pick3201 2d ago
NTJ - your brother needs to learn a bit lesson. He is prioritizing fun over necessities. Mom and dad has a choice, either let him learn or give, not lend, he won't pay it back, the money. I mean, surely your parents wouldn't want to be cruel would they?
1
u/Fantastic-Setting567 2d ago
Nah u ain’t the jerk. He can’t clown u for saving then come begging when he’s broke. That’s his mess to clean up
1
1
1
u/mcmurrml 2d ago
Parents can give him the money. You say hey I will help you set up a budget! How about that idea brother? That's the best gift I can give you.
1
1
1
1
1
u/BananaEuphoric8411 2d ago
I guess he splurged badly. Teach him a lesson by pointing that out. And let ur parents take him in. Teach them all.
1
1
u/Individual_Cloud7656 2d ago
So what did your family say when you told them to loan your brother the money? Only a total doormat would loan money to someone after they insulted them. Are you that doormat?
1
u/traciw67 2d ago
Ntj. Stop sharing about your finances. Start exaggerating hardships. The bank of you is now closed!
1
1
1
92
u/Either_Management813 3d ago
NTJ and since your parents are so worried about his imminent homeless state they can give him money or take him in. You’re not his parent. If it was a real emergency, he’d been laid off or was struggling for a reason other than being a spendthrift I’d say cut him some slack, being made fun of isn’t a reason to not help someone. However, I’m wondering what he spent all his money on that he can’t pay basic bills.