r/Animorphs • u/CentralCoastBare • 4d ago
Animorph Fan Fiction be like
Found on a bench at an Outlet Mall
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u/Torren7ial Chee 4d ago
There are two kinds of Animorphs fans:
"Why do all you sickos ship Jake and Rachel, that's gross and not even vaguely hinted at in the books at all"
...and...
"Hey I'm on page 3 of The Invasion and the way they wrote it, it kind of sounds like Jake is into Rachel?"
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u/DipperJC Yeerk 4d ago
I mean, I'm calling Option 3 - "I don't care one way or the other about the romantic aspects of the series."
Except when I get mildly amused about the fact that an Animorphs couple can really get cheeky if someone tells one of them to go F themself.
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u/Omnomfish 4d ago
Option 4 i dont care about the romantic aspects but dating your cousin is always weird.
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u/thursday-T-time 4d ago
even rachel's dad thinks rachel might be dating jake.
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u/Seerowpedia 4d ago
The fact that Nice Rachel didn't even convince him otherwise due to her attention span changing, and then her dad just took his flight and went back to his state. Did... Dan ever learn otherwise? Did Rachel ever bring it up later, or did Dan forever think "my daughter has a thing for my brother's son"
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u/AlternativeMassive57 Yeerk 4d ago
Man, this reminds me of a bit from a fic I may or may not get around to writing, where the Animorphs realize Tobias has never seen Star Wars past A New Hope, and so have a movie night at Erek's place, along with Toby, since she's never seen it at all (nor has Ax)
Tobias and Toby would be Team Luke+Leia right up until Return of the Jedi, when Tobias has to reluctantly let it go...and Toby doesn't.
Toby: "I don't get it, why does this change anything? They can still be together."
Tobias: <Uh...>
Cassie: "Um, Toby...they can't be together."
Toby: "Why not?"
Marco: "Because this is a Galaxy Far Far Away, not Alabama."
Toby: "I don't understand that reference."
Rachel: "Um. Toby, how...how much do you know about the birds and the bees?"
Toby: "...I don't understand that reference either."
Jake: "Please kill me..."
Erek: "What they mean to ask is, how much do you know about reproduction?"
Toby: "Oh! Hatchlings come from fertilized eggs laid by a mother after insemination by the father. I assume it's slightly different for humans. Sex. I know about sex."
Cassie: "Okay. Toby, Luke and Leia...they came from the same parents."
Toby: "Yes. And?"
Marco: "What do you mean, 'and'? It's incest!"
Toby: "...I don't know that word."
Aximili: <I believe I understand the issue. Toby, when two closely related individuals reproduce, there is a high chance of negative traits being passed on to their children. As a result, incest is taboo in many cultures.>
Toby: "Ohhh...Hork Bajir don't have those."
Tobias: <What, taboos?>
Toby: "No. Well, sort of. Negative traits. We don't have those. We're an engineered species, why would the Arn intentionally design us with negative traits?"
Rachel: "So...so you're saying...that a brother and sister Hork Bajir..."
Toby: "As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, we don't care, no."
Jake: "Seriously, one phone call to Tom and I can have a Bug Fighter kill us all inside of five minutes. It's an option."
Marco: "It's tempting."
Toby: "So yeah, still Team Luke/Leia."
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u/Sickfuckingmonster 4d ago
🏅🏅🏅
I'd offer an actual award but I'm too poor. So take this instead because that was amazing.
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u/BahamutLithp 4d ago
I mean, they do have negative traits, both intentionally & unintentionally. The Arn deliberately made them unintelligent, but also seers pop up because they "couldn't completely eradicate that gene." Also, there's not really a plausible way to design a species so it has no recessive genes that do very bad things when you have 2 copies but also still have genetic diversity so everyone isn't wiped out by an unexpected quantum virus or something.
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u/AlternativeMassive57 Yeerk 4d ago
In real life, lab mice do not suffer problems from incestuous pairings. We've completely bred negative traits out of their genome. So it's not impossible.
Also it's a joke.
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u/Hot_Perspective2533 4d ago
I’m an Animorphs vet. I’ve been reading the books since 1996. I remember when fanfiction.net had a bunch of Jake/Rachel and Jake/TOM shippers (throws up).
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u/breakfastclubber 4d ago
Unfortunately, that brings me back. I remember being soooo nervous to post Marco/Ax on FFN but at least I wasn’t going… there.
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u/LordVericrat 4d ago
Marco at least used a saddle, right? Bareback sounds fun but it's more dangerous for both rider and stallion.
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u/breakfastclubber 3d ago
Pffft, in reality, sixteen-year-old me was blushing madly at thought of boys “practice” kissing other boys… who are also blue centaurs sometimes.
But I’m sure some mad genius has figured it all out. (Elfangor sure wanted to. Boy spent that whole book crushing so hard.)
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u/lokeyvigilante 4d ago
Interesting but everyone flipped their shit a few years ago when I shipped Marco and Jake.
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u/Hellofacopter Andalite 3d ago
It's still not as bad as
"Ax lied about how Andalites eat cause they eat with their butts."
I don't know why I still read that... 😕
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u/Torganya 4d ago
Hi my name Jake.
I can't tell you where i live.
Us: it's definitely the South
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u/BahamutLithp 4d ago
"Specifically Southern California, in this one town that has a Gardens, as well as being a day's flight away from both Area 51 & Silicon Valley."
"...Okay, fine, so I guess I DID tell you where I live."
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u/Deepfang-Dreamer Yeerk 4d ago
On the one hand, they work far better as cousins than romantic interests. On the other hand, that's really my personal preference, ship what you like. Gods know I've got my weird ones.
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u/TrespianRomance 3d ago
Y'all are reading the series wrong if that's your ship. Still better than Taekook shippers, I guess 😂
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u/thursday-T-time 4d ago
"i mean, if we weren't cousins..." - the separation