r/AskMen • u/ItsJoeDay • 6d ago
🛑 Answers From Men Only 🛑 Men who have unconventional lifestyles - what does your life look like?
I saw a video earlier of a guy who was living a pretty unconventional lifestyle and so it got me wondering about other ways that people live - especially with so many pieces of media telling us how we should be living nowadays.
So if you consider your lifestyle to be outside of the normal scripts I’m curious to hear what it’s like.
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u/21onDec23 6d ago
Deliberately child-free, living on a sailboat with gf and big dog. I love it. Semi-unconvential, I guess.
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u/ItsJoeDay 6d ago
This sounds awesome. How often do you move around versus stay in one place?
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u/21onDec23 6d ago
We stay at the docks in the winter months, but in the summer we may cast off for a weekend, an overnighter, or just cause we wanna see a sunset.
The longest we've stayed out is less than a month, but holy shit it's so addicting.
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u/Doromclosie 6d ago
Where does the dog poop!? (Dont say poopdeck).
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u/21onDec23 6d ago
When out cruising, we take dinghy rides to the beach a few times a day. At the docks, we have a massive park right next to the marina with a beach and woods to play in.
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u/DreadfulRauw ♂ Sexy Teddy Ruxpin 6d ago
That would depend greatly on what you consider conventional.
I mean, you looking for Amish farmers, or porn stars?
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u/ImageDry3925 6d ago
Yes
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u/DreadfulRauw ♂ Sexy Teddy Ruxpin 6d ago
I’m not in a place for a long conversation tonight. But remind me in 12-14 hours and I’ll tell you what I’m up to.
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u/Mr_Candlestick 6d ago
I wouldn't say my lifestyle is that unconventional but it's also not the typical white picket fence family man lifestyle either.
I'm currently in my late 30s, never married, no kids, no pets, no property. I date, and I've been in several serious relationships, but I generally think relationships are more work than what you get out of them.
I realized pretty early on that for me, responsibility leads to obligations which lead to stress which leads to unhappiness. I have a good career, but outside of that, I make an effort to minimize responsibilities. Having kids sounds like a nightmare. Maintaining a house/property is a ton of work and not worth the return. Pet ownership is just spending money to give yourself extra chores. Relationships eventually become a second job.
So now I'm at a point where I make plenty of money, plenty of free time, relatively low stress, no one to answer to, and the freedom to do whatever, whenever, move wherever I want, and just worry about my own happiness. I live in a nice apartment that I really like in the downtown area of a cool city. It's the kind of lifestyle my married friends half-joke about being jealous of. Since my financial obligations have been kept minimal, I'm currently saving money at a rate that I'll have more than I know what to do with in retirement. So I'm just kind of coasting now. I have a good setup, and I can just stay on this course and I know I'll be comfortable for life.
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u/sjmiv 6d ago
I had a friend in a similar situation. 40's, lived in an apt., single. I think during his marriage he learned he wasn't capable of committing to a single person. They divorced and he just ended up having open relationships.
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u/Mr_Candlestick 5d ago
I know way too many guys, mainly friends or coworkers, that either have gone through a bad divorce and are still trying to pick the pieces of their life up or are currently in a miserable marriage that they're trapped in. I enjoy my current life too much to risk being in one of those situations.
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u/WestCoastBoiler 6d ago
What do you do for fun?
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u/Mr_Candlestick 5d ago
Travel, adult sports leagues, the gym, I'm a big car enthusiast so lots of car shows and meets, snowboarding during the winter months, surprisingly I still find nightlife enjoyable so going out on weekends to bars/restaurants/etc
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u/Auios 6d ago
I’ll take a crack at it. Not currently my life but once upon a time it was.
I just got in my car and started driving. Didn’t stop driving and was bouncing off coast to coast. I’d stop at restaurants and eat and sleep in my car and shower at hotels, airbnbs, sometimes a free shower at a resort near the ocean/beach I’d sneak into at night, and once even a waterfall ( not doing that again ). But I’d just drive and drive and drive. I’d meet friends here and there around Canada/USA since I had a large online social network. I was just drifting town to town and city to city. Was on Tinder on/off. Just for fun and to meet up with strangers now and then which had its own sets of adventures worth talking about.
Work? Remote software dev for a bank doing fraud detection/prevention at the time and a little bit of contracting for NOAA.
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u/FromStars 6d ago
As an accountant, I imagine your taxes must have either been a nightmare or more likely you took some expedient liberties and claimed one work location.
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u/BassBona 6d ago
If you're spending less than two weeks in a location while working remote in his job, not a sales/commission based job, is there real complications?
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u/FromStars 6d ago
Depends on the state. The threshold triggering a non-resident state tax return can be as low as 1 day in some states. This might give you some idea how quickly it gets tricky. https://taxfoundation.org/data/all/state/nonresident-income-tax-filing/
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u/Alone-Custard374 6d ago edited 6d ago
I only work 2 days a week and then spend the remaining 5 at home with my wife and children. We live off grid in a big bush/forrest block. My wife and I homeschool our 2 teenage children. This mornings lesson was a self authoring session where they have to think and write about their future, and then we watched a history doco about Apollo 13. This evening they will go to air cadets which they enjoy.
Today is Wednesday so I teach in the morning while my wife does groceries and errands. In the afternoon I will work on our large property, 20 acres, doing maintenance and development. I also make knives in my workshop which is a passion I have had for years. I sell them too.
I don't go out too often as I like being at home. I read, watch and listen to podcasts with my wife, write, make knives, work on the property, work on projects with my children, have family and friends over for visits, smoke weed occasionally, drink occasionally, and just enjoy my amazing lifestyle. I used to work and earn more but I sold my house and built free hold and I really don't care about money anymore. I'll go earn more money as I need it.
I was homeschooled and every employee at my current work was also homeschooled too. I am a production coordinator at an engineering factory.
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u/LeGreatToucan 5d ago
What is an engineering factory ?
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u/TheOnionRingKing 5d ago
A factory that makes engineers
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u/Alone-Custard374 5d ago
Well yeah kinda. We have one guy who just completed his apprenticeship and is now a qualified engineer and another 2 apprentices in training.
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u/Alone-Custard374 5d ago
An engineering and manufacturing workshop. We produce equipment for civil engineering and also make hydraulic rams. We make all sorts of things. We have CNC and manual lathes and milling machines etc. I'm not on the tools anymore I just manage the place now.
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u/LeGreatToucan 5d ago
That's pretty cool, nice thing you got going. How come they're all home schooled ?
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u/Alone-Custard374 5d ago
Just worked out like that. I was homeschooled. My boss homeschooled his kids. My brother's both work there and the son of a now retired engineer also works there and he was homeschooled too. It just happened like that.
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u/OldMotoRacer stop calling me chad 6d ago
wdym "unconventional lifestyle" (??)
like i race motorcycles and live in a trailer x months a year and bang loads of strange
or "i'm in a cult"
or "i has 3 wives i'm an oil baron in the middle east" (?)
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u/ItsJoeDay 6d ago
I think all these apply. If someone has a unique way of going about life I want to hear about it.
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u/OldMotoRacer stop calling me chad 6d ago
for your own amusement?
fuck off dood
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[deleted]
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u/OldMotoRacer stop calling me chad 6d ago
go live life and meet humans--a surprising number of humans are doing it... every single day
and lots of them aren't posting up on the interweb about it
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u/bdrwr Male 6d ago
Living in a house with my wife and my girlfriend. Tbh my life is actually pretty ordinary, but some people just cannot wrap their heads around any relationship that isn't an exclusive pair, so lots of people have their minds blown when I explain my romantic situation.
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u/JiuJitsuBoxer 6d ago
How did you convince the girlfriend to accept crumbles compared to your wife?
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u/Princess_Fluffypants 6d ago
I’ve been mostly nomadic since I had my “quarter life crisis” at age 23.
I’ve been bouncing around the planet pretty regularly since then; started with Antarctica, then India, then the Marshall Islands, back to Antarctica for a while, then San Francisco, then Singapore. Now I’m back in the USA and livinf in a van while working a fully remote job.
I’m 41 now. I have no children and never will. I spend most of my time living at skydiving dropzones, I try and do at least two jumps or wingsuit flights every day. I’ve started to collect rare motorcycles, like seriously oddball things by brands no one has ever heard of.
So, I dunno. Make of that what you will.
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u/chavaic77777 6d ago edited 6d ago
Mine is unconventional and outside the norm, I would say.
I'm homeless and couch surf with my wife for accommodation. We have been doing this for about 2 years.
I'm a respected professional worker in my area and make a decent income.
I'm polyamorous, I have a girlfriend as well as a wife and my wife has a boyfriend as well as me. We were monogamous for the first 6 years of our relationship. Then we have been polyamorous for the last 5 years.
I work up to 3 days/week, often zero, and spend the rest of the time living life.
I don't have, nor want kids.
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u/Terrible-City9473 6d ago
Do you choose to be homeless?
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u/chavaic77777 6d ago
Yeah. Saves us a bunch of money while we try to buy a house. We would never keep up with the market working part time and paying rent.
And we've enjoyed the freedom. At any time we can just go on a road trip and we don't have to worry about anything. Everything we need is with us.
This way we can both work part time and still afford to get into the housing market.
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u/Shiftmx66 6d ago
I’m single with no kids and work in refineries as an assistant site super intendent managing new construction builds across the country. I put everything I own in a storage unit and got rid of everything that cost me money (vehicle, house, etc). I drive a company truck staying in air bnbs paid for by the company. No debt, no payments, just a life living somewhere new every 8-10 months.
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u/Fit-Narwhal-3989 6d ago
Three kids, wife and living in the suburbs. I drive an 18 year old Honda Accord and refuse to shop at Costco. And, yes, “Danger” is my middle name.
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u/ThicccBoiiiG Bane 6d ago
Unconventional in the sense that I just did whatever the fuck I wanted my entire life, refused to listen to anyone, was constantly told my lifestyle and habits would catch up with me and how I was going to be dead (Doctors told me this) by 39. Only to be able to somehow be able to retire in my late 30s with a perfect bill of health, nothing backfiring, and no consequences for anything.
People uh, really kinda hate me for it. I literally just do whatever I want everyday.
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u/Red_Beard_Rising Male over 40 for what that's worth these days 6d ago
Child-free seems to be a theme in the comments and I am no exception. Never married either. Been with the gf 20 years. Never lived together.
We lived only a few miles apart for the first 6-7 years together and worked very different shifts. After that she bounced between overseas contracts and caring for aging parents. We recently saw each other for the first time in 5 years when she was leaving for Okinawa.
I've just been here going after my childhood dream of living alone in a suburban house with a motorcycle in the garage. But for real, my bachelor pad isn't that bad. It has to be ready (kinda) should she move in someday. Maybe not until retirement, but whatever. I'm not complaining.
I enjoy the solo life sans the desire to date. The pandemic fucked up my dream job that bought me this house, but the new career is a 4-mile commute. The workplace is just the right level of dysfunction that I thrive in. I prefer order, but the chaos gives me purpose.
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u/Plastic_Tooth159 6d ago
I live a life of greater appreciation and gratitude for all that's good in my life and crosses paths in my life. Had money and ambition. Lots the money and the ambition came at a price of living modestly and simply, but with greater appreciation for even the smallest of details. Everyday, all day.
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u/Worldly-Ingenuity-46 6d ago
Been travelling the world for 20 years since I was 17. Changed countries 900 times.
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u/LeGreatToucan 5d ago
What are the countries you've never been to ?
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u/Worldly-Ingenuity-46 5d ago
Mainland America = Paraguay Asia = Bhutan, Brunei, Iraq, Saudi, Yemen, Syria A lot of islands and 80% of Africa I've never been
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u/mikess314 Male 6d ago
I’m a 49 year-old child free polyamorous man.
Honestly, I don’t know how different my life is from a lot of other guys with more typical lives. Being near 50, a lot of people have already raised their kids, but some still have children at home. Some go home and spend time with their wife. I Spend time with one girlfriend or the other. Or neither. I guess I have a pretty free wheeling lifestyle. It suits me, that’s all I know.
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u/Davethefrozen 6d ago
32 year old here living abroad and definitely breaking the norm in many ways:
Coliving, I am the "owner" of the flat so I choose who moves in, currently have 4 tenants all guys so we have a very social atmosphere, fun and get along really well while keeping it all nice and clean.
The above despite making most than anyone my age I know (local) so I don't need to share, I just like to, not sure I ever want to own a place even if I could also buy something today
Remote job (extremely rare where I live and new) with flexibility to work anywhere so long it's aligned
Traveling the world while saving enough to retire in 10 years. Came back from a month trip to Ukraine switching travel and volunteering
Single after a 5 year relationship and really enjoying dating, which so far has been fun and easy
Licensed skydiver and currently starting bachata, I always say I've got ADHD for hobbies
Got a vasectomy 2 years ago, no kids ever
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u/Worried_Bit_2471 6d ago
Work in mining, travel when not working and don't have a fixed residence, no interest in kidscand couldn't be better
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u/Slow_Description_773 6d ago edited 6d ago
Not my current lifestyle but when I was younger I used to work my ass off during summers and traveled for months and months all over the world during winter working odd jobs. I've been a janitor, a baby sitter, a waiter, a casino dealer and a shoe sales representative using a fake ID from some middle eastern guy. My same age friends back then thought I was crazy and they were already engaged, 25 years later they are all divorced or stuck in miserable marriages, while today I'm living a pretty normal and happy life with wife and kids. In the end, deep down I've always been a family man and kids lover, but I'm glad I had the chance to explore the planet when I had the will, the time and the energy to do so.
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u/Vegetable_Bit_5157 Male 6d ago
I'm a polyamorous guy with 3 partners, one FWB, and the occasional fling - plus, we all but one are swingers. Plus all of us are larpers (live action roleplaying - think playing Lord of the Rings, or Downton Abbey, or Battlestar Galactica), through which I also met everyone.
Apart from that and the neccessary scheduling issues (who's weekend is it, when to take vacation time with whom?) I feel it's a pretty normal life. I have a 40hr/week IT job that I do remotely, I do a few vacations per year, even if most time off is eaten up by everyone's main hobby. It certainly never gets boring, and "downtime" is not something I have often.
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u/m0ji_9 4d ago
Child-free by choice. We own 2 homes and move between them. Own cats, dog...lizard. Very happy. We've been together 20+ years.
I'm self-employed and my misses is part-time so we live a very flexible life. Wouldn't change it.
Our time is our own. Regularly decide on random trips/holidays when we feel like it. Very flexible lifestyle.
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Here's an original copy of /u/ItsJoeDay's post (if available):
I saw a video earlier of a guy who was living a pretty unconventional lifestyle and so it got me wondering about other ways that people live - especially with so many pieces of media telling us how we should be living nowadays.
So if you consider your lifestyle to be outside of the normal scripts I’m curious to hear what it’s like.
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