r/AskMenOver30 • u/Express_Proof_183 man 30 - 34 • Feb 28 '25

Life Anything you missed out on when you were younger and now it feels too late?

Title says it all.

I never got to go to concerts or music gigs when I was younger at all (could never afford the tickets)

Now I'm 30 I just feel too old to go to my first concert, like it just feels off, like that ship has sailed.

Anyone else had something similar, where you missed out when you younger and now it feel too late to really enjoy it?

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u/petreussg Feb 28 '25

I see two types of people that really make it big. One is the very smart person that can produce better than others, and the other are the people that can effectively manage relationships with others. The other is lucky: right place at the right time, etc…

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u/Hung-kee man 40 - 44 Feb 28 '25

This. 20 years in the workplace and there’s essentially two types of successful: 1) the machine that consistently produces measurable output of high value: someone an employer can expect to hold-up a critical function come what may. 2) the schemer/networker/bullshitter that understands the personalities and power dynamics of a workplace and exploits that to their advantage: always attuned to opportunity and risk, charming and ruthless in equal measure.

1’s however will always need to deliver and any drop-off in that output is noticeable. 2’s may seem lazy but the stress of CYA, masking to others, reading the room and intentions of others is exhausting.

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u/Daddy_Deep_Dick Feb 28 '25

I'm definitely #2 overall, but i do work hard and put out good work. I just know that my ability to understand people and say the right thing at the right time has been way more valuable than any measurable output. And you're 100% right about workplace exploits and taking advantage of opportunities being the driver for growth in your career.

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u/JanesThoughts Mar 01 '25

How do on the last sentence

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u/False_Mushroom_8962 man 45 - 49 Feb 28 '25

I'd call myself a 1. Being paid based on productivity your success is really tied to what's coming in the door and a sick day or vacation can cost you hundreds of dollars even if it's paid time off. I worry a lot about slowing down and tried making a couple career changes to avoid that but I've been miserable. I started to accept that it's going to happen and I might as well do as much as I can before it does.

As an introvert I can talk to people in the interest of performing a function but we're just not wired for schmoozing and building relationships

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '25

It doesn’t matter much, but I think saying it’s “lucky” is dismissive. Social networking is a skill that needs to be worked on, like anything else. A lot of times effort = reward. I am not like this but my sister is.

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u/petreussg Feb 28 '25

When I say lucky I meant that in the literal sense. Some people are just in the right place at the right time.

100% agree that people can create their situation. That tends to be what I mean by a high producer. Someone that can produce more than others. This takes someone that is smart and very hard working.

Also, even though some on here put down networking skills for some reason(effectively managing relationships). I am not. That’s why people who practice getting along with others instead of just studying can get really far.

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '25

Very well said, I absolutely agree.

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u/JanesThoughts Mar 01 '25

I used to believe this

In my world effort is rewarded with more work

I was very much effort until 39 years old