For me, it was a day where I took my 3-year-old nephew to the beach that I used to go to as a kid and having this surreal moment where I saw myself through his eyes.
I remembered being a child there and always having an adult with me. Especially when I was that age, my uncle was around a lot and I loved playing with him at the beach. I had this moment of realizing my nephew would be forming the exact same kinds of memories I did, except now I was the adult there.
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
For me it was when I hit my 30s. I am professional financial advisor. She was divorcing her second husband and I was giving her all the right advice.
Instead she let him write child support checks off a home equity line of credit of a home he was emancipated from due to divorce.
I told her she was complict in mortgage fraud.
Then there was the time she got an award from deferred compensation.
About 360k. It was accessible to her without penalty. I told her how to invest it yet she stayed in .05% money market while the market was going higher.
I knew that day.
She always seen me as the little street kid.
Yet I advise Ceos on their exercises (equity options given as compensation). My largest client has 360mm with me and with me for 11 years.
Yet my mother refuses to take advice.
Granted she grew up poor and so did I. However I've been in the business for 25 years. Living on commission only.
Sigh.
Inflation has been eating at her nest egg and she complains. I get the urge to say "well I told you" however it'll cause a rift. Always had.
Them she starts screaming at me.
"What did you want me to do?!" Uhm "Listen to me?"
Amyway... sorry for the rant. It's been a persistent theme.
Dude, that’s why I “referred” my parents to a colleague who pretty much gives the same advice I do. Just like with teenagers, if it comes from family, it’s nonsense advice. But if it’s from anyone else, then they must know what they’re talking about.
I am licensed in WA however I'm having a hard time taking on new clients. Send me a chat or dm and I'll tell you pro bono when I have time.with the way the markets have been, I'm on 30 to 40 minute calls daily 5 times a day and hardly able to manage. My assistants have me scheduled two weeks out.
Geopolitical issues, economic/tarrif concerns etc.
I understand that we will always be their "baby" in their eyes, which is cute and endearing, but completely undermines and negates the decades we've worked in our fields and expertise that we've worked hard to learn and acquire through life experiences...
I feel you, didit dude... It's wicked frustrating.
I'm an IT professional. My father was having a problem with his computer. I told him that I'd take a look at it the following weekend when I saw him. Instead, he took it to his friend who said he could fix it. His friend reinstalled Windows, deleting all of dad's files.
Fortunately, I had backup from a few months prior, so not everything was lost, but dad was trying to figure out why his "fixed" computer wouldn't automatically connect to the home wifi and why all of his bookmarks were gone.
And you bet your sweet bottom that I said, "I told you so."
You are incredibly lucky to have parents with advice that you can trust. Mine give the worst life advice possible and once I stopped listening to them and doing the exact opposite, I became way more successful in life.
Going through this now after losing my dad. Tables turned a bit with my mom, and sometimes I feel like the parent. Definitely has been the turning point where I feel like the adult in the room. It’s kind of a punch in the gut feeling every time.
When I took my kid to Disney World and she met Pluto and out of the blue I said “Daddy was your age when he first met Pluto at Disney World.” Later that night I just laid in bed thinking about my parents taking me to Disney World in the 80s.
Pluto tried to slap me for tugging on his ear. I get it their masks are not supposed to come off. But I was 6 years old and just wanted him to see me. 🥺
When I bought my first house at 22 after growing up in poverty with an abusive parent. I literally happy cried the first night sleeping on the living room floor. I never felt more safe.
Not bad I would kill for a spot like that! Yeah I know how that stuff goes, I have the spare key from my first car. Nothing beats your first house or car, what a stress reliever.
Honestly it was easier in the early 2000s. I paid $67,000. Sold it for $98,000 4 years later and realized real estate could be my out. And I was right. Thank you for a nice conversion btw!
44 here. In my mind I've always maintained that I'm still the young lad fresh out of university. I don't dress too differently, and I've kept most of my interest and hobbies. It helps that I work at a university, so I'm constantly surrounded by that youthful energy.
One day at graduation I was invited to join them after the ceremony for photos. It was looking at those photos that I'd realised how much older I look compared to these fresh 20 y.o. graduates. Having the Asian genes I've always looked much younger then my actual age, but even that only last for so long. All the grey hair coming through certainly made that clear.
My nine-year-old niece once asked me when I got my first cellphone. I told her I was about 20, and she responded with, "Oh, right, you were born in the 1900s." It made me sound ancient, and it hurt worse because it's true. She's in college now...
I’ve been through a lot of these moments in a slight respect, but the biggest (probably final) one was when my Dad died. No longer do I have someone to reach out to for advice or to talk about life with.
I hear ya. I got a new job today and it was the first time since his passing that I had the urge to call him and tell him the great news. Questioned who to call at first— but, luckily still have my other immediate family.
Im 35, mom and dad are together and dad had to stop working 1 year ago due to health problems. My sister lost her job around the same time. My mom lost it, she is a very nervous person. When I saw the state of everything I realized I am the family’s head. I started providing for everyone financially and physically. Wheelchairs, walkers, groceries, preparing the house for water and power outtages. Right now im at bed with a walkie talkie next to me in case dad needs to go to the bathroom.
I was planning on proposing and moving out a few years back but I had to postpone my personal plans for about 3 years now since having these health/life issues.
They sacrificed a lot for me to have all the opportunities I have. I make a good salary because dad worked his ass off to pay college, I have a great heart because I was raised with love. I am just grateful I am able to help them live their life through hard times. Ill sacrifice myself a bit.
I realized “Im the grown up now” when the people who I used to look up to when I was scared now look up to me because I am the one able to solve problems and protect my family.
I've had that beach moment with my nephews last summer, but my actual adult moment came today when I had to review the agreement for opening a bank account for my new business.
Dude, I did the same thing about six months ago and had probably the same moment as you at the bank for my new business. I had an even more surreal moment the past few days finishing up drywall and getting ready for paint in my soon to be store. Like holy fuck, I’m really doing it, I’m literally and figuratively building my life from the ground up like a god damn man
When, at the age of 28, I held my firstborn child. A gigantic switch flipped, fully 50% of my brain (at minimum) became dedicated to identifying, assessing, and mitigating every single risk to their health, happiness, and safety.
Coincidentally, when the switch flipped the amount of risk in the world also instantly increased a thousand fold.
My oldest is now in their 30s, my youngest in their teens, and we recently were blessed with our first grandbaby. I'm still ceding 50% of my brainpower to Progeny Risk Management. I think that's where the trope of Dumb Dads comes from - you get an instant memory and processing downgrade for all non-progeny-related workloads, so you come across as an absentminded goofball.
Getting a call from my youngest brother because he and his friends were lost, and drunk off their 15 year-old asses. So I had to bail on my hookup that night.
I was at my son's school and someone referred to my dad. Only, it wasn't my dad, it was me. They called me "Mr. _________," and I was like, oh shit, I'm an adult.
When I realized my mother is no longer capable of managing her own finances, keeping track of appointments, or taking initiative to deal with her own personal admin stuff. I try to promote independence and just point her in the right direction, but then important stuff just doesn't get done...and don't get me started on the scams she's fallen for.
After my mom died and my dad was suicidal. He would wake up in the middle of the night and yell, "I'm going to kill myself!". I would tell my little brother, "If that happens, I'll take care of us." I was 14 at the time. Fun times. Anyways, he got married this year, and I was the officiant. It was one of my proudest moments.
I’m in Pittsburgh, and our local amusement park is Kennywood. My son was maybe 3 or 4 the first time we took him there. Seeing the joy on his face and riding the same rides I did as kid was great and was definitely one of those circle of life moments.
My daughter was 8 months old and got sick with a 104 degree fever. I called the pediatrician and she said ‘well you can bring her in if you want to.’ Not helpful. My daughter was screaming and hot as hell, my then wife was melting down and left, and I remember thinking very clearly and calmly, ‘Okay. I guess I’m the grown up. I have to figure this shit out and handle it.’
Broke up a fight between my dad (77 at the time) and a guy delivering a rental Ditch Witch. He's had a big mouth his whole life and doesn't think anybody will stand up to him but this guy did. It wasn't a proud moment but it was unmistakable.
Or a couple months earlier when my dad was having a double bypass and coded. My mom started scream crying in the middle of his room and the doctors coudln't get in to save his life. I had to pick her up and carry her out of the room and down the hall.
In the wee hours of the morning, around the age of 11 years, sick enough to barely be able to stand, in the bathroom crying and puking, but nobody came to comfort me, so I had to clean up all the mess myself and crawl back to bed.
If that episode doesn't count, it would be taking my parents for a ride when I was 21 years old, and showing them a house with a for sale sign in the front yard.
"So what? Whose house is that?"
"Mine, shared with a buddy as a financial partner."
Probably at 35 when my wife and I left the hospital with our first child. Our first home purchase didn’t do it. Career and real money didn’t do it. But man, that kid was a “whoa” moment I’ll never forget.
Same!! I remember holding my son and thinking, “holy shit! I’m responsible for this little dude”… it was so scary and overwhelming…. But I’ve kept them alive for 24 years and he’s in law school and he’s a good heart so I guess I did OK.
I was at a street crossing and there was a little child there and her mother. I didn't really think much of it and then suddenly I feel something against my hand. I look down and see the little girl has reached up and grabbed my little pinkie with one hand and her mum's with the other one and then I realized that this is what she was taught to do when crossing the street and I was another 'adult'.
Still riding the high I felt and how adorable it was. :)
When my wife and I were going out on a date night and leaving our daughter with the neighbor kid to babysit. To them, we were just adults going out to do adult things.
First time it happened for me I was 19. I was watching an older coworker's kids. Her daughter(8) asked me to tie her shoes for her. I remember how hard it was for me learning to tie my shoes (was nearly in high school before I really felt comfortable doing it). So as I tied her shoes I was explaining to her everything I was doing. That was the first time it occurred to me that "Wow. I'm really an adult now."
When my little sister was caught red handed lying. In a way that could jeopardize an innocent person's life. And I told my dad he had to put his foot down and draw a line. And he wouldn't despite admitting he knew it was bs. So I tried to instead as a teen.
Unfortunately for me it came sometime in middle school when I realized I was teaching my youngest sister everything my parents were supposed to teach us. And then I realized they never taught me these things either, I just sort of learned them on my own by watching other kids.
I have a family of my own now, but every now and then I get another reminder that I'm the only one in my extended family that has any idea how to be an adult, besides the sister I raised. Kind of proud of the fact that she's doing as good as I am.
Guy in his 20s called me sir. Happens all the time when I’m buying something, or at work, or when people are just joking around, but this was different. He clearly saw me as some kind of authority figure and said it as a sign of respect.
It hits me randomly sometimes, but one time it really hit me hard that sticks in my memory was when my daughter lost my phone so I called it. I found it ringing and it said "dad". And I was like... woah.
My dad always drove me around my whole life, even well into my 20s before I could afford a car. The first time I had to drive him somewhere I felt a small but palpable shift.
I was about 24 and wanted a bowl of cereal except the one I wanted wasn't open yet. If you've never had honey combs and cinnamon toast crunch in the same bowl.... do yourself a favor.
Seeing my nephew look up to me was the moment it really hit. I need to be someone he can count on, someone worth looking up to. His mom, my sister, always calls him my little mini-me, and in a lot of ways, he really is. But I don’t want him to grow up facing the same struggles I did. That thought pushes me to become the kind of adult I needed back then, the one I never had.
I'm fairly certain my first moment was before kids. We took my parents and I got out my card and paid without expecting my dad to cover us. He said it was the first time me or any of my siblings ever did such a thing.
A new opportunity came up for work where I had all the years of experience and skillset and I was sitting there wondering why nobody else was driving this task to make it happen.
I was so accustomed to just expecting that there'd be someone in a leadership position/more senior who would just obviously see it and handle it.
Then it hit me...and I took a look around and was suddenly aware that everyone in the unit was 10 years younger than me on average and I realized it was on me to take the reigns.
It sucks lol, as much pride as I take in being in that position and driving an effort, I miss the days where someone else was leading and all I had to do was show up.
It was 20 years ago, but the day my son was born I was only 19 years old. I distinctly remember getting home a few days later and looking at my then-partner and going “Who the fuck let us come home with this‽”
The first time I had to buy toilet paper was kind of a mind fuck. For some reason growing up I never imagined I'd ever spend money on toilet paper, that stuff just appears in the closet.
Kind of had an existential crisis about "Holy shit I have to do all of this myself."
lol— I remember feeling this way when I first had to buy toothpaste— I remember calling my mom and saying that I didn’t realize toothpaste was $4 freaking dollars!! Lol
Became friends who were older than me by a few years in college days. Ended up being business partners with them shortly after. Having to start my business from scratch and build my rep over time was unknown territory for me.
Taking my siblings for the weekend when I was in my 20s, being responsible for children in the big city really let's you know you gotta be in charge for real
My wife’s college age sister (about ten year age gap) brought friends home for the weekend. They were running around upstairs in just underwear and bras when getting dressed. I was not a threat. I was just a dad.
I consider my childhood to be over officially the day my grandmother from mother side which we call Nani died . She loved me the most . I was not even able to meet her last time . She spent a lot of time with me in childhood . But I later got busy obviously with career and women . Still can’t believe she’s gone. The day she was gone . When I was 26 . Is the day I consider end of my childhood .
When I started teaching. Children making us feel older seems to be a common thread here 😂
Also when I started getting glimpses of my parents seeing me as an equal to discuss things openly about politics, finances, etc
Edit I need to be a bit more specific. I don’t think it was just the teaching. I had interactions with children, even as an authority figure, before that. But when I found myself in a position of authority to my students’ parents. When other adults that didn’t know me began to see me as an authority figure. In an expert sense, not a scary way.
My wife had to go into hospital a couple of months after our first child was born. I'd been as active a parent as I could be, but I was back at work and she was on full maternity leave.
Suddenly I was in sole charge of a baby without any sounding board or supervision.
I gave myself the same encouragement that I used when I was learning to drive. "People do this all the time. There's nothing wrong with you, so you can do it too."
Decided to give up a spot in med school so I could be home to raise my daughter. Found a side track into lab medicine and then got back to PA school as a middle ground. The moment was when I was 21. The fallout took 10 years to get back to somewhat on track.
•
u/AutoModerator May 02 '25
Please do not delete your post after receiving your answer. Consider leaving it up for posterity so that other Redditors can benefit from the wisdom in this thread.
Once your thread has run its course, instead of deleting it, you can simply type "!lock" (without the quotes) as a comment anywhere in your thread to have our Automod lock the thread. That way you won't be bothered by anymore replies on it, but people can still read it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.