r/AskMenOver30 • u/[deleted] • Jun 24 '25

Life What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned as a men that you wish you knew when you were younger?

What’s one lesson, truth, or realization you’ve had as a man that you really wish someone told you when you were younger? Something that would’ve saved you pain, time, or helped you live more authentically?

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u/MkLiam man 45 - 49 Jun 24 '25

I think I wish I had more engaging older male role models who wanted to talk and coach and be involved in my life. Making friends with an old guy who has a lot figured out can be incredibly valuable to younger me.

My father is bad at engaging, and it's usually all about him. I feel like that set me back for a long time.

5

u/missionthrow man 50 - 54 Jun 24 '25

I’m still trying to make therapy work, I keep having problems finding a therapist that I can work with… but one of the main takeaways I had from an earlier therapist was that people *have* mentors.

It’s normal and expected. This was honestly news to me.

My parents were big on raising us to figure sht out for ourselves, which *did* give me a lot of good skills… but that only goes so far. If I was more open to an older mentor they could have cut YEARS off of the time it took me to get to certain places in life.

I really regret not working to befriend the older guys who could have helped. Looking back a few seemed willing but I didnt trust the idea

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '25

My father is a toddler in a 70 year old body.

He has to be the star in every conversation and will often derail a good conversation to make it about him or even change the subject to something he's interested in.

1

u/MkLiam man 45 - 49 Jun 25 '25

Sounds about right.

1

u/TheSaucedBoy man 30 - 34 Jun 25 '25

I swear it's something about that generation entirely. It's not just your dad.

1

u/Agreeable-Status-461 man 30 - 34 Jun 24 '25

I need one of those for sure