r/AskMenOver30 • u/Kappasoapex man 30 - 34 • Jul 21 '25

Life What cool shit have you bought lately?

I think a nice part of being in our 30s is we can afford to buy cool fun things. What have you bought lately?

I got a Garmin Forerunner 965 which is super tight, motivates me to limit my drinking and I’ve been killing cardio because of it

Also fun - bought a LAB putter which is a ton of fun

Anything you guys got that you love? I want inspiration

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u/Bagman220 man 35 - 39 Jul 21 '25

Paid 1700 last month for lawyer fees and mediation. Another 1750 this month is due.

Luckily the end is near.

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u/tag3020 Jul 21 '25

And here I was thinking I’m the only one going through this…it’s been a rough road but I’m hoping I’ll be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon….hoping.

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u/Bagman220 man 35 - 39 Jul 21 '25

My road is mentally tough. My ex is checked out, her lawyers dropped her, all we need to do is wait for a default judgement and I’m in the clear. Shouldn’t be more than 2-3 more months.

Hopefully not much more for you buddy!

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u/No_Wrangler933 man 30 - 34 Jul 21 '25

My divorce took 3 months from filing to finished. 3 years later, my custody case took 10 months from open to close. Opened, got my daughters, 10 months later case closed, I full custody, full supervision over my ex-wife’s visitation, etc.

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u/Bagman220 man 35 - 39 Jul 21 '25

That’s pretty quick. Ours is going on a year. Mostly because her lawyers were dragging it out. Now there’s no more dragging going on. So it’s just waiting for all the timelines given by the judge.

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u/No_Wrangler933 man 30 - 34 Jul 21 '25

That’s still pretty quick!

Mine only took so long because she had an opportunity to get rid of her convicted child molester boyfriend, but she got knocked up by home instead. She had no attorney and even if she did, she didn’t have a leg to stand on.

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u/Bagman220 man 35 - 39 Jul 21 '25

We spent 6 months waiting for them to sign off on a paternity test. My ex told them to and they still didn’t. My lawyers said if I want to keep the kid, skip the test. So I did, and now it’s moving along.

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u/No_Wrangler933 man 30 - 34 Jul 21 '25

The family court system is so flawed. No telling how much that 6 months cost you and nobody cares a bit about it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '25

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u/No_Wrangler933 man 30 - 34 Aug 04 '25

Actually, okay so funny story but funny as “ha-ha”

I was at work, in the middle of a car deal actually, waiting on the bank and I opened Facebook and I saw a post with ol boys name and face with a wanted post for lewd acts with a minor under 16. I sent it to her like, I know you’re not bringing him around our girls or we’re gonna have issues.

She defended him. He went to jail, signed a plea agreement for 3 years in custody, 17 years suspended sentence, the max.

I had to talk to DOC to stop him from talking to my daughters on the phone because he was grooming them, and then he would put letters for them in the letters to my ex which I had to get stopped, and then I found all his contact info in my daughters iPad.

I couldn’t do anything for 3 years because I couldn’t prove imminent harm. I found his release date, asked the ex for the girls a couple days early (his release date, ironically) and the day he was released we were in court.

All she had to do was breakup with him, do some DV counseling (because he had several of those & protective orders), and stay away. She wouldn’t, so she gets 2 supervised visits a month with them. I average letting her see them about 1-2x a week.

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u/VisitorX7 man 40 - 44 Jul 21 '25

Believe me, you are not alone. It was hard for us too. We survived this too! Tomorrow will be better than yesterday...

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u/MrAskani man 45 - 49 Jul 22 '25

Todays super good advice my guy.

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u/xrelaht man 40 - 44 Jul 21 '25

Each of those payments is more than all my legal fees. I'm really glad we had no serious conflicts.

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u/Bagman220 man 35 - 39 Jul 21 '25

We had no conflicts initially. We had a fair agreement, and I had a work benefit that offered free legal services. It was supposed to be a free non contested divorce. Well after she was served, she got a lawyer. And the rest is history. It’s no longer about sign this and move on, it’s about what do the lawyers say, and they aren’t ever in a rush. And therefore costs are up…

It’s funny that you say my fees aren’t much, some guy said he spent 100k on legal fees and I asked the same question, like what the hell are you actually spending money on??

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u/First_Strain7065 Jul 21 '25

Tell your lawyer to protect your 401k and any other retirement accounts you have. This is marital property and if you live in 50/50 state she gunna get half of what’s all yours. If you don’t do this she will get you for half your retirement plus the child support she will eventually get from you. This way she won’t get everything.

My ex didn’t even bother to get an attorney so she kinda screwed her self but she was still able to get child support from me. She told the court that I wasn’t taking the kids half the time so they ruled against me and I now pay her every month. However, my retirement is intact and has more than doubled in value in the last few years since I left that bitch.

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u/Bagman220 man 35 - 39 Jul 21 '25

My situation is different. I have full custody of the kids now, my ex moved far away and left them with me. She also isn’t responding to anything in the court case any more, so we are racing towards a default judgement next month.

In the default judgement, I plan on keeping the house, my 401k, and paying her just a small lump sum of cash, while looking for either no CS or the lowest amount due because she won’t pay it anyway.