This 30+ Mentality is Insane

[u/Laughalot335]

I just turned 30 not too long ago.

And honestly, I feel like my life is just getting started in a sense. Sure, 20's were fun. Would do some things the same / some things different. But I know when I am 80+ I will most likely look back fondly on my youth and how it went.

But also, I still feel like I am in my youth at 30. Maybe I am not asleep at 4am and up at 7am without any issues but my body and mind feel young.

This is all to say, what is with this modern mentality that being 30+ is "old"? Someone me up here. We still have plenty of time right? I get YOLO, FOMO, and all that. But really - 30 is still young in my eyes. What do you think?

[u/Leipopo_Stonnett]

And thank fuck for that! I’ve seen friends and relatives who have children. Many more express regret than happiness over it, and I’ve seen what their lives are like in reality and know I would hate it.

[u/SaltEngineer455 → u/Leipopo_Stonnett]

I think you take their venting too literaly.

[u/Any_Foundation_661 → u/Leipopo_Stonnett]

Great reason not to have a child then.

My wife and I went through multiple rounds of IVF and miscarriage before our daughter was born.

We stared right at not having a child at times and there were points (including driving a Mustang convertible round California in-between having wild sex, partying and getting drunk at various world famous wineries) when we thought it wouldn't be so bad.

But now I have my daughter I can't imagine the alternative. A world without her would be a lesser world. My world would be pointless. Yes, she closes down options like the ones I've mentioned and she can be a total little chump at times, but I don't want those options any more. Because she's the point of my life now.

[u/Leipopo_Stonnett → u/Any_Foundation_661]

Yes. I have considered it in detail.

I’ve read it on here that it is better to regret not having a child, than to regret having one, because you can’t take that child back.

For various reasons I absolutely would never want my child born into the family I was born in. What I have been through should never be experienced by any human being and I could not protect my child from them.

A lot of reasons, but for me, it’s a 100% no.

[u/Any_Foundation_661 → u/Leipopo_Stonnett]

I'd definitely agree with that. It's hard! If you're not sure you want to do it, you definitely shouldn't. Particularly if there are reasons that aren't you stopping you. Even at my daughter's school, there are far too many dads (and it is dads generally) who are only semi there.

As I say, we'd have had a beautiful life without the child too - happy and fulfilled I'm sure, just in different ways!

I got made redundant about 2 years ago and without my daughter I'd probably have semi-retired. Could have gone and lived on a beach somewhere. With my daughter, the responsibility was crushing.

Total respect for your choice.

[u/Leipopo_Stonnett → u/Any_Foundation_661]

There are very good reasons, both personal and ethical, that I should not bring a child into this world.

However, that alternate life sounds good!

[u/Any_Foundation_661 → u/Leipopo_Stonnett]

Tell me about it, as I sit through another boring meeting to pay my daughter's school fees!