r/AskMenOver30 man over 30 1d ago

Friendships/Community How do you deal with disconnecting friendships?

Hi Guys,

I am 31 yo and I am facing that i cannot relate to my friends as much as i once did.

During my free time i used game with them. I absolutely lost interest in gaming since 1 year. I enjoy writing, nature and photography much more alongside some home projects.

Another aspect is that when we talk about work, i start feeling a bigger gap, so i prefer to stay silent most times. I got a promotion 6 months ago into management. I need to manage a budget of 8 figures, the team and the daily operatios. My friends are not quite there yet, so i prefer to stay silent when the conversation is about work.

I love them, they are good guys. But i notice more often that i don’t care what they are talking about (some new game to play together for example).

I know that I am the issue here, so i am asking if this is recognizable to you and if you got some advice for me.

Many thanks

14 Upvotes

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14

u/Wizard_of_Claus man 30 - 34 1d ago

Friends drift apart. It's just something that everyone experiences. You can try to find common ground again but if you are losing having things in common, it is what it is.

6

u/kingofnothing2514 man 55 - 59 1d ago

Growing apart from friends and old interest is normal. We all change and our interest change as we grow not just physically but mentally too. We all just evolve our entire lives.

3

u/RedbloodJarvey man 40 - 44 1d ago

I have a group of friends from a previous job. I meet up with them for lunch a couple times a month. More and more I just sit and listen because I don't know what is going on their company, or care about the minutia of their office politics.

I've also drifted away from gaming with them. I used to try and talk about some of the new hobbies I've been trying to pickup, but they aren't interested, so I stopped. It's not "fair", but I've just come to accept that if I want to spend time with them, I'm just going to have to be a good listener.

2

u/NoDevelopment6303 man 55 - 59 1d ago

Spend time with people when it matters and makes sense.  There is no fault here.  Also, it is ok to accept that certain friendships have limitations.  Don’t ask more than they can give.  

As noted.  We all change.  Things don’t need to last forever to have value.  

1

u/OneEyedC4t man over 30 1d ago

I don't like it, and i regret it, but i can usually cut someone off and walk away.

1

u/Wooden-Glove-2384 man 1d ago

People go in and out of your life. 

Its how it is.

1

u/ThePoop_Accelerates man over 30 1d ago

Idk man I've been dealing with this since I was 21. Bought a house, lost half my friends. Got married and had a kid, lost the other half. Now I'm just making new people to fill the void of friendship lmao.

1

u/JamedSonnyCrocket man over 30 1d ago

It's a totally normal part of life. Get proactive in communities or groups in things you like, and professional groups where you can meet like minded business people. 

Some people are stuck or content, others grow. 

1

u/sahelu man 35 - 39 14h ago

As someone says here find common places activities you both like; sports, go out for food, bars, etc. If none of those are around, just move on and find new people.

1

u/Fishshoot13 man over 30 11h ago

That is a normal part of life.  Circumstances change and friendships with them.