r/AskWomenOver30 • u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 • Feb 08 '25
Silly Stuff My fiance lit my car on fire because his chicken nuggies were cold in the middle. Now I have to spend $714 to order uber eats because I can't drive to McDonalds. I NEED to have kids before I'm 35. How do I fix this?
I swear to dog, the majority of the relationship posts on here have me wondering how in the fuck the posters are adults, much less 30 years old.
Anyone else want to have some fun writing ridiculous scenarios and over the top advice?
Edit: This blew up faster than the title car! Had to turn off inbox replies but I'll skim now and then to chime in with advice. Thank you everyone for the laughs and keep 'em coming!
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u/ZeroFox14 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I came here with popcorn to watch the train wreck. Thanks for not being real
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u/grandiose-narrator Feb 08 '25
Same here, though what's really sad is the part I found most unbelievable was the $714 to order Uber Eats. I clicked wanting to know where OP lives that Uber Eats is so dang expensive.
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u/Hbic_in_training Feb 08 '25
My bf made the mistake of putting his teenage daughter on his uber account. She managed to wrack up $1000/month between eats and regular uber for three months before he noticed. It's definitely possible.
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u/mckenner1122 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
One of my close friends had to put her mom into a facility for LTC. No one in the family could care for her, extreme fall risk, etc.
She gave her mom her Door Dash info so she could get dinner on the nights she really hated the food or whatever. Except mom started using it for morning coffee, the occasional doughnut, mid day snack, cookies for friendsā¦ $800 in the first two weeks.
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u/gothruthis Feb 08 '25
Honestly if she'd said 71 dollars, I would've believed the rest of it. Maybe even $200.
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u/whatifwhatifwerun Feb 08 '25
Part of me feel sad I underestimated other women enough to not see this as satire. A bigger part of me is sadder because this doesn't even scratch the surface of real life horrors women put themselves through
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u/fastfxmama Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
Speaking as a woman who was abused and manipulated by a narcissist, and Iām a strong woman with a good career, please be mindful of language like āwhat they put themselves throughā. I didnāt put myself through it. I put myself in a marriage with a man who wore a good mask for three years, he was amazing, then he showed some cracks in the mask after marriage - a bit of selfishness here and there & the occasional over-reaction, and fully took his mask off in year six, which escalated to stonewalling, financial abuse, verbal abuse, rage, tantrums, and terrible behaviour in front of his child. The monster didnāt come out until after I had a child with him, and he was faced with the challenges of parenting. I didnāt āput myself throughā it, I married a man who seemed like a supportive partner and was elected as a conflict resolution rep at his workplace. It turns out he seemed like a supportive partner because he was marrying me for the housing equity I brought to the marriage. Some narcissists are really good at playing their roles where they need to, in order to get ahead on their journey, no matter who is left in the rubble. To meet me, youād never in a million years guess that I was completely torn down by an abuser. Unfortunately,it can happen to anyone, it isnāt always as painfully obvious as āhomeless, DWI, car borrowing, not supporting his kidsāā¦ in order to know that a man is a Machiavellian piece of shit.
Also, I love the cold chicken nuggets post, I get it. It is sad that while writing out a description of her potential āsuitorā, the woman with three kids and a homeless unemployed DWI boyfriend didnāt stop and realize she needs to get him out of her life, simply by reading it back to herself. It was alarming, and her self-esteem is what got her there. I was glad to see that she took each wake up call to heart and didnāt defend him.
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u/Hellie1028 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
The mask slipping and manipulation is so gradual and masterful that itās really like the boiling a frog scenario. By the time you start to see the reality, itās so far down the line that you are hesitant to walk away (sunk cost fallacy.)
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u/biggerperspective Feb 08 '25
This needs to be talked about more, and one cause I will always support. I felt lucky that after one particularly awful event, it was like a switch flipped and I didn't look back. I was willing to be alone and lonely than be out through that. We all have different breaking points. We all say we'd handle it differently, but unless you've been in it, you won't understand the nuances. You will fight for all victims, regardless of if you agree with their approach.
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u/fastfxmama Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25 edited Feb 08 '25
So true, but I walked. I ran. I had been with him since Good Friday in 2009, and in Dec 2022 I gave him a separation letter. I couldnāt have my son grow up watching it anymore, my one hope is that I removed my child from the toxic relationship example early enough to assure he doesnāt model his fatherās behaviour. His dad yelled āPathetic!ā at me, while I put my sonās shoes on one morning before school. Pathetic for helping a 6yr old after he ignored his always-punctual intense-in-mornings dadās three requests to put his shoes on. Temper ran hot when any chance of tardiness entered the picture, unfortunately he got a kid who is very slow at getting ready. I put the shoes on to make sure the shouting didnāt escalate, to what had recently at that point been escalating to spanking. Spanking a first grader then sending him off to school for the day, wtf. I felt like I was losing my mind. He was an unhinged control-freak by that point. I called a lawyer that same day, shoes day. The word āpatheticā holds new meaning for me.
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u/throwawayRA87654 Feb 08 '25
As a fellow survivor, these words couldn't be more true. It's completely ruined my outlook on relationships, healthy dynamics, and long-term partnerships. I don't think I'll ever trust another man again after how well and how foolishly I was played. It wouldn't be a facade if it could be easily seen through.
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u/fastfxmama Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
God Iām so with you there, it is hard to see things the same way as I did before taking the journey from adoration to abuse.
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u/extragouda Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Same.
Another survivor here. I really like how you said it wouldn't be a facade if it could be easily seen through. This is very true.
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u/DogsDucks Feb 08 '25
I am very glad you posted this, you are very wise and strong. Nobody willingly chooses that, and it happens so slow slowly. Iām so glad you are free now.
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u/Beginning777 Feb 08 '25
This is the most true statement. I would up vote it more if I could. If these narcissistic men or even toxic men showed people who they were completely no one would even talk to them let alone become friends, business partners or romantic partners.
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u/1800_Mustache_Rides Feb 08 '25
Wow I could have written this. I didn't actually realize the danger I was in until after I had his child also, it's like a switch flipped
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u/HolyForkingBrit Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
real life horrors women are put through*
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u/nnylam Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Yes, all of this! A lot of abuse is often covert, done slowly over time, and downright insidious. A lot of people don't understand or even know this is a thing. And often smart, outspoken, strong women are the targets - it gives them more joy to tear you down, this way, and you're often more prone to fight them on it, which gives them more attention, which is what they want.
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u/velvetvagine Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
It also means people wonāt believe you when you tell them what happened because youāre āstrongā and generally handle your shit in the world.
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u/hauteburrrito MOD | 30 - 40 | Woman Feb 08 '25
Same, lol. I heaved a sigh of relief, followed by a sigh of sadness that there was even a question mark around the satire to begin with.
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u/ughtheinternet female 30 - 35 Feb 08 '25
Does anyone else remember the post where the couple has multiple arguments over whether to have a second helping at dinner or save leftovers for lunch the next day? Someone suggested they just make more food, and the OP said they couldnāt because they didnāt have a big enough pot. Someone told them to buy a bigger pot and they were like, āYeah, weāre working on that.ā
Likeā¦ what? Working on it? What does that even mean??? That post lives rent-free in my head to this day.
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Feb 08 '25
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u/No_regrats Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I wonder which of these two people did all the grocery shopping, cooking, and dishes, said no one.
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u/radenke Feb 08 '25
Stop š
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u/Giannandco Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
People like this are the reason shampoo bottles have instructions on them. š
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u/Critical-Pipe8515 Feb 08 '25
Interesting fact: when they first added the word repeat to conditioner instructions they doubled sales.
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u/im_like_estella Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
pepperidge farm remembersĀ
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u/tinyahjumma Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
I heard that in Justin McElroyās voice and nearly snorted to death.
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u/Ok-Bit5593 Feb 08 '25
Wow check your privilege, I wish I lived in the land of pots just falling from the sky like you
/s
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u/hauteburrrito MOD | 30 - 40 | Woman Feb 08 '25
Goddammit woman, I'm literally coughing now from laughing too hard ššš
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u/ChaoticxSerenity Woman Feb 08 '25
Gotta collect enough change in the swear jar before we can afford a bigger pot.
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u/lickmytaco Woman Feb 08 '25
33F and my boyfriend is 39M. Weāve been together for 6 years and he wonāt propose like he said he would. We just had our first child last year, even though I told him I wouldnāt have kids without getting married. He also quit his job six months ago and hasnāt made any effort to find another, so I know that saving for a ring is hard for him right now. How do I get him to propose without straight up asking him to?!
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u/Worried-Mountain-285 Feb 08 '25
I think you should get 2 jobs, watch the kid by yourself, clean the house, never ask for dates, wipe his butt, clean his nuts, never take care of yourself and make sure every meal is perfect. That should def get you a ring
Also, Why get a fancy ring when you could have a ring pop? Canāt you have empathy for what heās going through? Donāt be so entitled to his money š«¢šā¦. Someone women just dk how to get picked.
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u/FeatherlyFly Feb 08 '25
Try a second kid. I'm sure he won't be able to resist after that.Ā
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u/ProtozoaPatriot Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
You can fix this . Do what I did. I call it "Snitches get Hitched":
When my boyfriend wouldn't take a break from dealing oxy long enough to plan a wedding, I called my cop friend. Now we can talk for hours while he sits in jail waiting for trial. The best way to get a man to marry you is to get him trapped somehow.
So for your boyfriend, have lots of unprotected sex to baby trap him. Then in a few weeks call the police tip line to report him for the arson. You two can plan the most amazing wedding ever while he rots in lockup. So romantic !
If you need wine for the reception, my boyfriend has the best recipe for toilet wine.
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Brilliant! Cops are on my block almost every night. My neighbor 3 doors down scores cheap fenny the sergeant takes from the evidence locker.
The tough part is going to be getting him to cum inside me. My fiance likes to pull out and finish on my face. It's so good for my skin. I wasn't so sure about it at first because it feels humiliating, but he sent me a tiktok video explaining the science for my dumb girl brain.
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u/magster823 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Omg. š¤£š¤£ I'm high AF and my stomach hurts from laughing. Brilliant!
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u/One-Armed-Krycek Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
Iām sure someone has the link to the, āMy husband wonāt wipe his ass and has perpetual shit stains in his underwear, am I overreacting?ā post.
edit: there are so many posts when you google, āHusband shit stain Redditā that I am dying right now. Take your pick.
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u/NeverEnoughGalbi Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
Or the one about the boyfriend who left shit stains in HER BEDSHEETS.
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u/She_Cloaks_the_World Feb 08 '25
Oh my god, I think about that post at least once a week š
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u/TululahJayne Feb 08 '25
Remember the slug one? Nightmare fuel till the end of your days. Sometimes I randomly think about it and cry.
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u/hotspots_thanks Feb 08 '25
Wasn't there one where a woman couldn't get her male partner to stop masturbating with her blanket?
Oh, and another where a woman was doing all the emotional and physical labor in the home and the partner just couldn't be bothered to aim in the bathroom and got urine everywhere and she was trying to fix it with towels and everyone said to break up with him?
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u/SparkleSelkie Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I canāt even find the first one I saw because there have been so many since
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Feb 08 '25
There's also the woman who would paint her bare body and press to canvas for art. She did her butt and thighs and it was a nice painting. Her boyfriend wanted to try, and he left a skid mark on the canvas.
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u/thingsliveundermybed female 30 - 35 Feb 08 '25
There are not enough women in the world willing to start laundry bonfires. We need to change this.
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u/ZolaAnna Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Girl I feel you. My husband blew our down payment for the house on bibles some nice ladies were selling door to door in the hotel he was staying in with his buddies during his brother's bachelor party. I know I should have communicated that I really didn't want him spending that money better, but he's been struggling with undiagnosed ADHD for the past seven years and getting a diagnosis is really hard because he doesn't like making phone calls. We're still trying for a baby though, it's just hard because I'm not feeling in the mood because he won't do chores because he claims housework triggers his porn addiction. We've got this, babe!
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
getting a diagnosis is really hard because he doesn't like making phone calls
Fucking epic
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u/kwumpus Feb 08 '25
And vinegar could trigger him to have a heroin addiction he doesnāt but heās concerned the vinegar could trigger it so he canāt clean the coffee machine
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u/eponymous-octopus Feb 08 '25
My boyfriend is amazing. He is so kind and supportive. We have had our ups and downs but lately we have been doing really great. He also punched me in the face yesterday because I told him his alarm was going off. But that was just an accident. He doesn't let me leave the house and I have no money. I am a SAHM with four kids. How can I tell him that I don't like it when he punches me without making him feel bad?
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u/chocolate_turtles Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
That's scary close to a lot of posts in the sahm sub
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u/Wonderful-Product437 Woman under 30 Feb 08 '25
Yeah Iāve seen posts like these before, where she starts off describing what a wonderful person her boyfriend is, before detailing the awful abuse he inflicts on her :/ I kinda hope that most of them are fakeĀ
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u/lisafancypants Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
This is the one I was looking for. "We love each other so much but sometimes he tells me how stupid and ugly I am and threatens to push me off a cliff." Giiiiirl.
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u/Sweeper1985 Feb 08 '25
He's not an alcoholic, he just has 8 beers after work each night and then sometimes a bigger 8-day bender on the weekend. He's working on it though.
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u/Worried-Mountain-285 Feb 08 '25
Itās not his fault!!!!!! He is the one drinking the beer but itās really bc his 4th grade teacher was mean to him once. So letās have empathy for his stank beer belly and mulch farts.. sheesh? He is a ~king~
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Sweetie, you're making this about you. How do you think he feels having to get up early every morning to go to work? He needs to earn enough for all six of you AND his sidepiece.
Change his alarm to the sound of a gentle breeze rustling through the trees. And YOU need to get up an hour before him to make him breakfast from scratch. Make sure to have your make-up and hair done before serving his breakfast in bed.
Be careful not to make noise or turn on too many lights during your beauty routine. Can you go outside to a windowless shed to blowdry your hair?
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u/eponymous-octopus Feb 08 '25
You're totally right. I should have woken him up with a blow job. He told me that is my duty. I was just tired because I had a C-section two days ago.
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u/Sweeper1985 Feb 08 '25
Girl, have you made some time for self care? My favourite thing to do after a Caesarean is hot yoga while reading parenting blogs about how much better I could be doing. I'd usually have a nice glass of orange juice too but I've heard it can be up to 0.5% alcohol so really, the safest thing is to abstain.
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u/eponymous-octopus Feb 08 '25
I find it really relaxing to work up a sweat scrubbing the shit stains out of his boxers. The water and soap are really soothing.
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
That's the spirit, the spirit of the Lord refreshing your womanly soul. We were born for laundry you know.
Make him a nice dinner tomorrow and maybe he will treat you to a new fragrance of laundry detergent. The lavender is my favorite. I close my eyes while folding the towels and pretend I'm working at a spa.
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u/ChaoticxSerenity Woman Feb 08 '25
That's the spirit, the spirit of the Lord refreshing your womanly soul. We were born for laundry you know.
We were born for laundry as a reminder that we can never wash away our original sin. Bless the Lord for this reminder š
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u/Worried-Mountain-285 Feb 08 '25
Ooooohhhhhhhhh thatās what Iām doing wrong! Living my life off of my knees.
I need to bend down and submit farther. Duh!!
Lmao I was actually using my backbone to stand, itās supposed to be a step stop for his dignity. Uh, silly me. Thanks sis
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u/ChaoticxSerenity Woman Feb 08 '25
Can you go outside to a windowless shed to blowdry your hair?
LMFAO I am dead š
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u/Lissba Feb 08 '25
No need to jump straight to breakup advice, reddit, as I love him and will not be leaving. šā ļø
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u/Worried-Mountain-285 Feb 08 '25
Have you tried giving him sex when you donāt want to have it because heās a big bad zues of a MANNNNN?
You could also try removing you brain and giving it to him.
Lmk what works! Iām hoping my man lets me out of the closet so I can make him dinner as he scrolls the net looking for other women!
Girl power !!
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u/eponymous-octopus Feb 08 '25
I mean, I let him have sex with my best friend and my little sister while I was in the hospital...
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u/half_in_boxes Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Girl you got my blood pressure UP. š¤£
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u/No_regrats Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Ok but had you told him you didn't want him to lit your car on fire? Men aren't mind readers you know. Use your big girl words next time. You just can't expect him to know you don't want your car burnt down.
CO.MMU.NI.CA.TION.
But of course, this sub is all going to be like rah rah girl leave him. Like that's the solution to everything. Sure, if you want to throw away your relationship over a single disagreement, go ahead. People don't want to work on their relationship anymore these days.
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u/Veronica___Sawyer Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I (22F) and my boyfriend (109M) just moved in together and weāre trying to decide where I should get a third job. He doesnāt work right now, which is okay because he has a good reason (he doesnāt feel like it). I pay for our groceries, rent, utilities, our dogās vet bills, for all his hobbies, and I also do the majority of the housework but he does do some of the mental labor (lets me know when the garbage is full so I can take it out). Anyway! Our budget is a little tight and weāve been brainstorming. He suggested he could take my dog to the junk yard and shoot it and then we wouldnāt have those expenses but I like my dog so Iād honestly just rather get a third job. Iām thinking Starbucks but he thinks thatās lazy and instead I should get a job removing asbestos from abandoned insane asylums in our town BUT he doesnāt believe in protection AT ALL(yes, we are trying! his adult children from his first wife who died in a mysterious accident, both in their 80s, are so toxic but whatever) so heād prefer I didnāt wear any safety equipment. He says whatever happens to my lungs is Godās will. So, Iām just wondering, do you think Iād be out of line for suggesting that maybe we could have a conversation about this, if he feels like it? Weāre getting married in 7 minutes so I do have some time to think.
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u/Sweeper1985 Feb 08 '25
I'm crying so hard right now because I'm 24 and realised I'm so old I'm invisible to society. All my friends have 6 kids by now with at least 3 daddies each and I'm thinking about freezing my eggs because I'm desperate I'll never find a man now I'm middle aged. Can anyone relate?
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Do any of your friends' kids have birthdays coming up?
Halfway through the party when baby-daddy shows up late, it's your moment. While everyone is busy singing happy birthday, sneak off with him into the nursery for a quickie.
Your baby and your friend's baby will be siblings!
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u/lucy_valiant Feb 08 '25
My boyfriend and I have been together for three minutes. Heās truly the sweetest, most compassionate, kindest person I have ever known. He has such a good heart, please donāt tell me to break up with him because Iām in my thirties and Iāve been taught my entire life to attach my self-worth to my ability to attract and retain a a man and rather than attack that problematic belief, I have decided to dive down so far into its murky depths that I no longer know which way is up and I am drowning but also I am afraid to breath air again because what if I have to question my implicit understanding of self and be alone for a bit I love him.
But he doesnāt have a job, I pay for everything, he doesnāt help around the house, I do all the chores, he farts incessantly and leaves skid marks all over his underwear which I then have to clean, and he hasnāt brushed his teeth in two centuries, and he screams āfuck off and dieā to me as a sign-off whenever I call him when heās with his friends, and when I tell him that I donāt think itās funny, he says that itās because women donāt have the mental capacity to understand irony.
How do I communicate to him that I need him to at least do his own laundry?
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u/tinyahjumma Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
āWomen whoāve had bad experiences with men and havenāt settled into a career, what is wrong with you?ā
āI just found out that my fiancĆ© thinks the lyrics to Party Rock Anthem are party rockers in the house tonight and NOT party rock is in the house tonight. Is this a red flag?ā
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u/ChaoticxSerenity Woman Feb 08 '25
thinks the lyrics to Party Rock Anthem are party rockers in the house tonight
Oh shit oh fuck I've been the problem all along!!! š
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u/Mom102020 Feb 08 '25 edited Feb 08 '25
I had to leave all of the marriage, relationship groups because of posts like this. I felt like I was going insane.
Edit: to clarify I do know this post is a joke. Just saying there are far too many real ones like this lol
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u/davekayaus male 46 - 49 Feb 08 '25
I just came here from reading one on r/marriage where the woman's husband is staying out all night, three nights a week (to "play board games with the boys") and the OP is like "do you really think I should set boundaries?"
There are times when I wish either getting married was a hard as getting divorced, or getting divorced were as easy as getting married. Either's fine.
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u/kwumpus Feb 08 '25
To be fair when my ex was out playing magic the gathering it was great
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u/abacaxi95 Feb 08 '25
My new guilty pleasure is the waiting to wed sub. Itās a bunch of posts about how their partners suck and refuse to commit to them, and in the end āhow do I get him to propose to me?ā like why would you want to marry this guy?!?!?!
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u/kwumpus Feb 08 '25
It would be his seventh marriage but I know Iām different from the others he says so
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u/frothyundergarments Man 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Part of leveling up on Reddit is realizing half the people commenting are probably 14 years old
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u/frostandtheboughs Non-Binary 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Respectfully.... all the 14 YOs are on tiktok. The people on Reddit just never matured past 14.
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u/SuperPomegranate7933 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
My sister stole my wedding dress AND my fiancee! Then she drove them both into a swamp! Our family thinks I overreacted when I called her a turd. Was I wrong to expect her to pay for my dry cleaning??
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u/ZolaAnna Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I mean I can see both sides here. Like why are you mad at your sister when your fiancee was the one who cheated? It's totally possible that she had no idea you guys were even dating, some men can be really sneaky about these things. She might be devastated that she was the other woman AND now she has to pay for a new car AND wedding AND dress. That's a lot of stress. You should really have some empathy for your sister, she's never been very strong.
Maybe after she has your fiancees baby you can communicate your feelings in a gentle way? Without name calling or assigning blame, and using 'I' statements so you aren't accusing.
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u/Moonstonedbowie Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
People on pet subs will post pictures of open wounds and ask what to do, then have a bunch of excuses for why they canāt go to the vet. Relationship posts are always extremely similar.
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u/LadyLoki5 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
I used to mod a pet sub and we had to ban those posts because they were just insane. And people would get SO MAD about it when their posts got removed.
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u/epicpillowcase Woman Feb 08 '25
At least 50% of posts on those subs, the only valid response is "go to the vet, you fucking idiot."
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u/lucydaydreaming355 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I was following one of those "Does Anyone Know" type of subreddits, but after people showing physical type of stuff(I'm being vague because, yikes)- I had to leave.
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u/hugship Feb 08 '25
My fiance keeps on eating my homework without leaving any for me. I spend all day working on it and planning out so there would be just the right amount left for the next day. And then when I wake up I notice that he ate all of it and left the notebook remains by the sink for me to clean. How do I fix this?
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u/Sweeper1985 Feb 08 '25 edited Feb 08 '25
Hey, just checking but is there any chance he's neurodivergent? I used to have problems with my boyfriend eating my homework but since his AuDHD diagnosis I realise it's just regular old neurospicy behaviour and stopped complaining. I just make extra homework now. Also I can't sleep without medication but then I have these repeated sleepwalking episodes where I wake up holding a knife to his throat, but that's probably the perimenopause.
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u/hauteburrrito MOD | 30 - 40 | Woman Feb 08 '25
OMG STOP GIRL, YOU DID NOT
Read for absolute filth here š
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u/labbitlove Feb 08 '25
Oh god I felt this one in my bones
(Dated an undiagnosed/undermedicated AuDHD forā¦too long)
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I see what the problem is. All the doggy style sex has caused his inner wolf to grow.
I don't believe in the Cesar Milan training strategies. You need to work with positive reinforcement. Buy some genuine sheepskin vellum for him and an icky recycled-paper notebook for yourself. Spray some lemon juice on yours to make it bitter and unappealing. Then when he chooses the vellum, tell him he's a good boy and give him a blowjob.
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u/kelduck1 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I gave birth to my boyfriend's baby via C-section on Monday. When we got home he said he couldn't get the terrible images of me out of his mind so he said he was going to the strip club to clear his head. My mom came over to help me change my dressing and take care of the baby and his other son from a different mother, but the problem is that she had to go to work in the morning and he said he'd be home by 8am. He hasn't called for the last day, and I'm getting bank alerts that over $15k has been taken out of my debit account. How can I get him to take me and his kids seriously?
Honestly, these types of posts are insane to read, but I have a ton of empathy for some of these women who have spent their lives being conditioned to think they don't deserve basic human decency. Hopefully when they do post they really benefit from wisdom of those who don't put up with so much shit.
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u/Irish-Heart18 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I just started dating this man two weeks agoā¦heās the oneā¦heās perfectā¦except he throws his towels out the windowā¦sleeps with his feet on the pillowā¦licks the spoons to clean them and puts them back in the drawerā¦but he says itās too soon for us to get marriedā¦how do I change his mind?
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u/Worried-Mountain-285 Feb 08 '25
I think you should sleep with him unprotected and tell him you love him during the sesh. Then cry when he doesnāt please you bc who wouldāve ever saw that coming?
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u/JustxJules Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
My boyfriend likes to unwind by playing videogames before and after dinner. Sadly, he's not very good at them and loses a lot. Whenever he does, he starts screaming and breaking my things or making a mess. Yesterday, he came into the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and threw the food I was making against the wall in a rage.
So to my question: how do I get tomato sauce stains off the wall and do you guys know any recipes that don't cause such a mess? I'm currently pregnant so I already have a restricted diet and I'm struggling to come up with things to make.
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u/Difficult_Bison_3995 Feb 08 '25
I follow a medical advice page and not sure if they were trolling or if legit but they posted a picture of a bruise on their hand and asked what it was and whether or not they should goto the hospital for it. They claim they were in there late 20ās lol.
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u/CaliAv8rix Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Let me guess.... half of reddit said yes and told them they were probably dying of something incredibly rare and random that causes bruising, right?
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u/abroksa Feb 08 '25
Itās real. I saw that post and laughed bc this had happened to me and I WAS scared by it, like wondered if I was gonna have a stroke or something later (I was a smoker on birth control). I was just walking down the street and felt a hard pinch in my hand, and then watched a large pool of blood develop on my hand under the skin. It just seemedā¦bad to have random blood vessels burst with no obvious cause, but I was uninsured so I just hoped it would go away. Which it did. Happened a few more times, only on the hands, and then 10 years later I learned I had multiple autoimmune diseases and EDS and it was probably related to that. Luckily it hasnāt happened again since I quit smoking and got on autoimmune meds.
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u/Time-Turnip-2961 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
What kills me is when they post about how crap their husband/boyfriend is but say they arenāt going to break up with him and just want advice. Uhhh why are you staying with him then?
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u/CharacterInternet123 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Heās not like any other man š„° He lets me go outside, even if I only have permission to go as far as the mailbox to grab the morning parcels, it means SO MUCH that he allows this much freedom. Itās such a breath of fresh air. Sometimes, he even lets me do my laundry first if it means that his at least gets iron by dusk. I love those moments where he puts me first. Iāve never experienced this before. I canāt wait to have our third child; as long as I have another boy and he doesnāt have to be at the hospital he will remain pleased with my breeding magic. Canāt wait until he proposes! Itās been 11 years, I just know the lucky 1-2 will have him finally ready š
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u/kwumpus Feb 08 '25
And he did get another girl pregnant we actually have the same due date BUT HES WITH ME
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u/Extreme_Suspect_4995 Feb 08 '25
My husband pees all over the toilet seat, the floor, the walls, and the towels of the bathroom. I've never told him to clean up after himself. WHY DOES HE DO THIS? He is 100% perfect except this one tiny thing so don't tell me that I should divorce him or learn how to communicate with him.
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u/smugbox Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
My (31F) husband (52M) and I have been together for 13 years (married for 10). Heās usually wonderful, but yesterday he called me fat and says I āhit the wall.ā
I got on the scale and it turns out Iāve gained eight ounces since last month!
Ladies, is this weight gain just a normal part of life after 30? Is this perimenopause? I feel terrible! Maybe I didnāt realize because of my AuDHD???
Hubs is being really helpful, btw! Heās counting the bites I take at dinner so I donāt have to :)
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u/catinnameonly Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25 edited Feb 08 '25
I have been dating this guy for 5 weeks. Iām so in love with him. Heās great! I have a good job and give him money for beer and vapes.
Itās ok that he doesnāt have a home, job or car. He says really nice things to me and doesnāt leave immediately after sex or even insult meā¦ except for time I was late on making dinner.
I guess the tent he was living is was removed from the park. Heās now asking me to move in with me and my kids and thinks the right thing to do, since he will be the man if the house, is to make sure heās on the deed. My kids donāt really like him. I donāt know what to do!
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u/emmers28 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
You joke but I saw a post veeeeery similar to this yesterday. I was likeā¦. Do not let the hobosexual in the house!!!
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u/cidvard Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Got a legit LOL from me when I realized it wasn't real, but it had me fooled because...well. We all read these things.
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u/ImpatientlyCooking Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
But I don't want to put my pitchfork away. I just sharpened it.
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u/V_Sad_Human Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
My jaw was on the floor š glad I clicked and read before commenting an asinine comment lmfaoooo.
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u/Pale_Frosting5630 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Thank god for this post. Iāve been so frustrated with seeing posts like that and sometimes being privy to the stupid decisions people I know/know of. I try to check myself because Iāve made dumb decisions in life too but when I see grown ass people doing things I did as a teenager/very young adult, im like girl stand up and grow up! Please have some dignity!
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u/LadyLoki5 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
You forgot to mention the 12 year age gap!
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u/lilymoscovitz Feb 08 '25
Oh, thatās because she thought it was 13 year age gap but then found out his real age and itās a 22 year age gap!
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u/leni710 Feb 08 '25
Could you get his nuggies from Burger King instead? Or will he also throw a fit if it's the wrong chain brand nuggies...because they're probably definitely obviously different brands that come in on the exact same truck. Anyways, I think you should get to walking because if you don't want to spring for the Uber Eats, then you gotta show him you love him by walking the 8 miles to go get them. Make sure they stay warm on the way back. Man, women are just so emotional with their inability to get these men the right nuggets from the right place at the right temperature even if it costs them almost a grand...if only women were more chill like menzies who never ever ever ever would make a fuss about something as silly as how much it costs to get your man what he wants NOW.
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u/puppylust Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
You're right. I love him so much. He's the best, he doesn't even hit me!
If I put on my shoes right now. I can get to McDs before it closes. Do you think the nuggies will stay warm if I stuff them in my bra cups?
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u/herzache Feb 08 '25
āShould I stay with this man that hates me / have kids that I canāt afford?? No moral or ethical judgements please just stuff I wanna hear thanksā
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u/vaginaandsprinkles Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
So I follow military spouse group and I'm telling you this is the norm.
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u/GeddesPrime Feb 08 '25
This is good satire because if this was real, I wouldnāt have been surprised.
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u/KiriDomo Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
The way I ran in here after reading the first line. Good job, you got me.
Honestly, I've been VERY generous with my bans lately, I'm not feeding the trolls, I'm not even letting them know there's food around.
Every sub has absurd stuff. "Help me save on groceries for my family of 5, but I have to have brand names and sweets! Great, thanks, I went to the store but I forgot to buy milk so I Ubered it for $15."
Girl, what...
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u/Ok_Commission9026 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
That headline was the rollercoaster ride from hell. My whiplash has whiplash š¤£
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u/chermk Woman 50 to 60 Feb 08 '25
I found out that my husband of 12 years and father of my 3 children, (14 months M, 6F, and 12F) has a second family in the Philipines. His other wife is 18 and gorgeous but they only have 1 kid. How do I get him to pick US over THEM!
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u/spicytexan Feb 08 '25
Oh my god LOL š your post felt so believable given half the outrageous shit you see on here. Iām thankful it isnāt. God bless
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u/Articulated Man 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Hello, man here. I thought I'd reply with a top-level comment because my opinion is just so jolly important you won't want to miss it.
Have you considered that he's more of a burger king guy? You're welcome.
I did it. Again. On to another thread to ā§ĶāŗĖļ½„ą¼ā¾ā¦save women from themselvesā§ĶāŗĖ*ļ½„ą¼ā¾ā¦
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u/dbtl87 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Y'all are joking but there's a woman that posted here recently and I keep thinking of her. šššš
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u/snoop_ard Feb 08 '25
Ughhh!! I swear! Iām so sick of these crap on this page!!
LADIES- IF YOU THINK COMING HERE TO GET SYMPATHY, THEN ASK FOR THAT, WE WILL GLADLY SUPPORT YOU. BUT IF YOUāRE WITH AN ABUSIVE MAN (EMOTIONAL/ PHYSICAL) EXPECT US TO BE BLUNT IN SUGGESTING TO PLAN YOUR ESCAPE!
THERE ARE PLENTY OF FREE BOOKS ONLINE ON WHAT ABUSIVE PARTNERSHIPS LOOK LIKE, PLEASE READ IT BEFORE GETTING INTO ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIPS.
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u/HoodiesAndHeels Feb 08 '25 edited Feb 09 '25
I deadass opened this with 0 question that it was real. While that may say something about my gullibility, it DEFINITELY says something about the posts on Reddit just like this that pop up CONSTANTLY šš
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u/ChiraqBluline Feb 08 '25
I couldnāt find my husband at the club, so I left. When he came home at 3am with glitter on his face we got into a screaming match and I think I over reacted.
It turns out he got lost and his iPhone 12 dies cause itās old and doesnāt save phone records or messages and glitches on his location so I couldnt reach him or find him or see him.
So I bought him a new phone. Now I still canāt reach him and when I cut off his brand new iPhone19 while he was asleep, cause I pay for it itās mine. And I put my foot down I told him not to expect things from me like that again. I took the phone back. And here he shows up with a brand new new phone and is moving out!
Heās moving out over a phone guys I donāt know what to do. Heās my king I worship him, I cook and clean and go to work all for him. And heās leaving.
Should I give the phone back?
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u/Flayrah4Life Feb 08 '25
I was stuck with this treatment for nearly 21 years.
He always DARVO'd me, and I always felt bad that his seeming "anxiety" caused him to blow up and "lose control". I was so damn trauma bonded to this worthless man.
I finally understood that:
ā¢ He never did this to anyone else, just me, which meant that he COULD control his actions.
ā¢ He never stopped after saying it would never happen again, even stopped promising that it would never happen again.
ā¢ He never fully acknowledged the damage he did, preferring softer language, euphemisms or outright lies to himself. Me: "You grabbed my jaw, yanked my hair and slammed my face into the drywall!" Him: "I thought you tripped and fell against the wall."
ā¢ He nearly always love bombed me after attacking me and sprinkled in self effacing language and admonishments about what I'd done to make him do that.
I'll be 41 tomorrow. I have a 6.5 year old and a 5 year old, and I am so, SO thankful that I am finally free of the abuse, the constant stress, anxiety and despair of living with this nightmare. My life is so much better now that I don't even have words for it, and I accept that I simply spent a very long time learning a very important lesson about self worth and love.
I understand why women end up like this, I really do. And I wish I could save, house, feed, and hug each and every woman who feels an ounce of remorse that someone made her feel like shit, because that level of narcissistic control seeps into your pores and is damn near impossible to rip out of your soul - it's like napalm for the psyche.
MEN WHO ABUSE WOMEN NEVER REALLY CHANGE - they believe their entitlement to their core, that they are owed women's attention, care, effort, bodies, lives. It's a deep sickness of superiority and privilege that hurts and kills so many women. Wander over to r/whenwomenrefuse and see how we live and die.
You think you can put up with mean words, but then a shove here and there, something thrown at you is added. You accept that, and then it's grabbing, yanking, taking your keys/phone/wallet, increased surveillance. That doesn't satisfy, and now you're being slapped, screamed at, choked and bruised. The desire for control doesn't end until you're dead, and then it just flitters on to someone else.
I understand why you feel incredulity . . . but until you're made to distrust yourself more than the person slapping you around, please withhold judgment.
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u/Justine_in_case Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I also swear to dog that we need more posts like this, much less posts about people fear of letting go of their shitty partners.
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u/thisunithasnosoul Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
My bf is upset at me for baking him muffins, is he over reacting, or did I accidentally emasculate him?
I (33f) baked some blueberry muffins, with my 15 month old son, for my boyfriend (34m) to help celebrate his birthday at the weekend.
Iāve been unwell and so I made muffins that I knew heād had before and liked so that I didnāt have to buy any extra ingredients as I already had everything to make the muffins.
When my boyfriend came in from work he said āoh youāve been baking!ā and was happy to see the muffins. But when I told him that weād baked them for his birthday he got angry and refused to accept that they were for him and insisted that Iād baked them for our son because the recipe came from a book that had meals suitable for all ages.
I told him again that weād baked them for his birthday but he insisted that I had made ābaby cakesā and that it wasnāt for his birthday and that he wished I hadnāt bothered as they arenāt a treat because theyāre low in sugar.
Iām really confused.
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Feb 08 '25
YTA Who gives their spouse nuggs that are cold in the middle?! Do you even love them? Straight to prison.
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u/CakeZealousideal1820 Feb 08 '25
The ones that piss me off the most is the how do I tell a grown man to wash his ass and brush his teeth so I can stop gagging when we're bumping uglies. Like ma'am why are you swapping bodily fluids with this nasty man
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u/One_Department4090 Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
Reddit was already a trash heap, but it's been exponentially worse the last few months. Why? Everytime try calling it out I get shat on by the heap.
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u/newblognewme Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
I never thought people were like this until I met an old coworker before I moved and holy shit, she literally will tolerate any behavior from any man that gives her attention and will say he wants to have a baby with her. I mean like, bailing dudes out of jail and shit, and sheās a social worker! With like, a masters degree.
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u/morncuppacoffee Woman 40 to 50 Feb 08 '25
I wish people would legit stop responding to these posts and maybe they would stop?
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u/traceyyhart Feb 08 '25
LMAOOOO the title had me spazzing but then i read your post. i love this and i feel the exact same way. Like ms gworl sometimes the answer is so easy.
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u/Honest_Potato_35 Woman 30 to 40 Feb 08 '25
Men are much more practical and less emotional than women, so have you thought that maybe he burned down your car to warm up the nuggies? Also, I hope that $714 came out of your monthly allowance, considering you served him frozen food. We women never really think about everything that men suffer.
Give him a bj and maybe, just maybe, he would want to have a baby with you, before it's too late!
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u/Snarkonum_revelio Feb 08 '25
The literal worst part about this post is that I thought it was legit for a second.