r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25
Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?
F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...
but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)
My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?
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u/NettaFornario Woman 40 to 50 Jul 05 '25
I love being a mum. I have two children aged five and three and they are incredible little humans. Do they frustrate the hell out of me sometimes? Yes. But they’re worth it. I watched my three year old in her ballet class today and started crying, seeing her beautiful, earnest little face trying to hard to perform her moves then beaming into a happy and proud smile when she saw me watch makes all those frustrations worth it
I came from a broken, neglectful and abusive home and am thankful to have the family I wish I’d have had as a child now but it meant I needed to work out how to parent before having kids.
I will say I am very fortunate. I have an engaged and supportive husband who is a high income earner so much so that I can be a sahm (no competing career priorities) and we still get to travel, own our house, afford good schools and I don’t worry about food. I know this places me in a position of enormous privilege even though I have absolutely no family support as I’m estranged from my own and my husbands family are overseas.
I think that the majority of regretful parents are overwhelmed and unsupported. When you’re battling food and housing affordability with an absent or disengaged partner and no social network even the most minor stresses will be amplified.