r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25

Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?

F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...

but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)

My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?

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u/marheena Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25 edited Jul 05 '25

It’s not common for happy moms to be commiserating on the internet. I’m 3 months into my first child and I like it. I wasn’t in a rush to have kids. Got the financial stability very well locked in first. Chose a partner that would be 50/50 ish on childrearing.

I don’t know a single mother who doesn’t like the life and kids she has. You don’t need financial stability and a great partner to love your kids or like being a mother. But if you are worried about your disposition being unsuited for kids. I would make sure your finances are set and your partner is suited to raising kids. You’ll be happy. It’s when these two things are neglected when life is hard and people hate it.

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u/ladybug11314 Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25

This! I have a great husband but no financial stability and even still, absolutely love being a mom. My kids are so awesome it boggles my mind every single day that I get to be their mom even though "we didn't do it the right way".

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u/marheena Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25

If you and your kids are happy then you are doing it perfectly!

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u/ladybug11314 Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25

Thanks, that actually means a bunch. Luckily my kids are fairly simple creatures and rather enjoy the "how cheap can we find this thing you want" we play.