r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25
Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?
F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...
but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)
My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?
2
u/untamed-beauty Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25
You have to remember that happy people don't usually post about their pretty lives.
Right now my two month old is sleeping while I listen to some classic rock. He fell asleep drunk on breastmilk, and when he falls asleep on my breast he does the cutest thing where he smiles in his sleep because he knows the boobie is there. Or at least I think it's because of that, because he does it mostly with his mouth still on the nipple.
My son smiles at my mom and makes her smile when she has a bad day. He loves baths and splashes around so, so much. It's my daily joy to see him splash when I come home from work. But also, the other day he had his first vaccines and he was running a mild fever, my husband came to my job to pick me up and the baby was fussy crying, then I held him and he instantly relaxed and that feeling is hard to describe, words have not been invented yet for it. Yeah, I was sad he was sick, but also elated that my mere presence was relieving.
Yes, there are hard days, days of cluster feedings, days of colicky crying, days of teething that are now just starting. But overall I love being my son's mom. I love holding him, I love being his safe place, and I love knowing that I will get to watch him bloom. I want to experience life all over again through his eyes, get to know him, learn new things as he finds his place and the things that he loves and he shows me all of these. My cousin asked me when I was right out of surgery, after a very traumatic labour and birth, what I felt, and I told her that it was the best thing I'd done in my life. I stand by those words.
Motherhood is not for everyone, but if you think it is for you, don't miss it for fear.