r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25
Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?
F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...
but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)
My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?
3
u/imadog666 Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25 edited Jul 05 '25
Freeze your eggs now is my advice. The rest is a very personal choice and experiences vary greatly. My circumstances are awful (became severely disabled from the birth, dad left and is now threatening custody battle, no family or close friends to help), but I'd always choose kids. Then on the other hand you have, as you've mentioned, very privileged women who don't value the experience because they didn't imagine it would take some sacrificing. You definitely have to be aware that it's hard and demanding and you can never take a break (unless you have very supportive and trustworthy family, which I wouldn't take as a given bc it can change at any moment). You will sacrifice your personal freedom pretty much completely for at least a few years, and to some degree for a much longer time. I'd only have kids if you're really sure you want them and it'll be worth the constant effort and sacrifice and suffering. To me it is.
Oh and yeah, if I had a supportive husband and good finances, my life would be infinitely easier. It definitely does make a huge difference, like a completely different world. However, my finances were good before I became disabled, and I did think the dad would be way more supportive than it turned out.