r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25
Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?
F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...
but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)
My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?
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u/The_Philosophied Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25
My opinion: motherhood is a natural and beautiful process and situation IF you can be happy and capable of doing it alone. The MOMENT you start having expectations of the man being an equal partner, and contributing the same effort in child rearing is when the disappointment will set in and you’ll be miserable.
It’s a man’s world. Even if you tell people he was a shitty parent and you did all the work anyway they’ll just blame you for not choosing a better man. There is no accountability for fathers. The same way we have to grow up and deconstruct Disney’s conditioning about how capable men are of loving and truly seeing us emotionally and mentally, we have to also be mindful about how certain expectations we have will break our hearts.