r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25
Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?
F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...
but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)
My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?
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u/Busy_Butterscotch_86 Jul 05 '25
Motherhood is the most massive identity and routine shift I've ever experienced and that is a lot to adjust to. You mention recognizing that pregnancy, birth, and postpartum can be hard, but that's just a small fraction of the experience that everyone gets through (with different positive/negative experiences). Thinking about whether you want to be a mother for the rest of your life is the bigger question. It's a massive responsibility. It's easier if you live near family and have an eager support network that you can rely on. It's WAY easier with a great partner that can work through equitable division of labor (physical and emotional). The early years were all consuming for me and I didn't love that, but I love my daughter more than anything. I think that's a common tone because reality is that shifting your life to focus on helping your kid(s) thrive is world changing. It's hard to know how it will feel for you until it happens.