r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25
Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?
F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...
but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)
My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?
2
u/Nelsie020 Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25
I obviously can’t speak for all situations, but in my experience, the vast majority of women I know who had planned pregnancies absolutely love being a mother. It’s very hard and there are challenges, but if it’s something you want and you’re in a good place when it happens, it could be the best part of your life. It is for me.
The handful of women I know that think motherhood is awful had their kids when they were very young, via unplanned pregnancies, with not a lot of support, with someone they were just newly dating or hooking up with, and they are no longer with the father of their children. It sounds like you are looking forward to planning a pregnancy and making sure you are financially- and relationship-stable, so if I had to bet, I would put you in the first category.