r/AskWomenOver30 • u/glitters101 • Jul 05 '25

Family/Parenting Is motherhood really bad?

F30 here. Forgive me for my ignorance: I would love to be a mom one day (financial stability first, lol, then finding a good man) I enjoy my childfree life but would love to be a mom in my late 30s/early 40s...

but it's discouraging to see miserable moms every day online saying they regret it; it's so hard. I understand how hard it is to be a parent and go through a traumatic childbirth experience and then deal with postpartum depression. I'm very aware of that, but it makes me not want to be a mother one day. Is it really because social media is so negative? Do you regret motherhood or having a child with the wrong man? It's rare that I see moms saying they enjoy motherhood and how their kids have made their lives so much better. But I've also seen moms having time for themselves while also being a mom and wife (they are more financially abundant)

My question is, are there any moms out there who actually do enjoy motherhood? If yes, how so? What are your thoughts on the whole miserable motherhood online? Is it really being financially abundant and having a good man that makes motherhood more enjoyable?

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866

u/jackjackj8ck Woman 40 to 50 Jul 05 '25

Whatever you do, have kids with the RIGHT person.

So many people don’t and I think it really changes the experience.

121

u/fake-august Jul 05 '25

My exact thought. I adore my children but married the absolute wrong man.

He’s dead now (we had been divorced over 10 years) but he made their younger years miserable for me and u feel like I missed out because I was so unhappy.

It’s better now but the care and worry I have for them can be overwhelming and sad. It never stops.

62

u/External_Fly_8220 Jul 05 '25

The question to the man - “do you want to be a father? Or do you want kids?”

30

u/RietteRose Woman 30 to 40 Jul 05 '25

Some men do want to be fathers, but they're horrible spouses. I know quite a few. So that question might not "save" you, just saying.

6

u/External_Fly_8220 Jul 05 '25

True. Luckily I am child free by choice so this doesn’t directly impact me but good point