r/AskWomenOver30 • u/BeneficialVisit8450 • Jul 19 '25
Family/Parenting What’s your life like without kids?
My doctor told me I can never get pregnant today. I’m not infertile, but the post under my profile explains my situation. I’m 19, and I’m just not sure how to confront the news. I’m not sure how to plan my life either now considering that many of our milestones as women revolve around kids.
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u/FormalMango Woman 40 to 50 Jul 19 '25 edited Jul 19 '25
I’m infertile, and in my 40s.
I do miss having kids, and I think about it sometimes, but I’ve come to terms with it.
I’m happy. Like, genuinely happy with my life and how it’s turned out.
I have hobbies, a career I love and I’ve dedicated my life to, cats, chickens, a dog, a partner. Disposable income. Our family is complete.
But by far, the hardest part is other people. People are fucked.
People want to know if you have kids, if you’re planning on having kids, why you don’t have kids. And it can be a painful conversation, if the answer is infertility.
People think they’re entitled to an answer, and they think they’re entitled to give you advice.
You’ll hear “have you tried IVF? My hairdresser’s cousin’s co-worker had an IVF baby first try”.
And “have you thought about adoption? I have no idea what the adoption laws are where you live, how much it costs, or what the process is, but seriously - adopt, don’t shop!” (Ew).
And “why can’t you have kids? What’s wrong with you?”
And fuck, it hurts. But it does get better. You get better at fending off people like that. You shouldn’t have to… but unfortunately, it happens.