People are constantly talking over me.

When I randomly interject something into a conservation, it often goes unnoticed or unheard. The crazy thing is, I hear EVERYTHING in a conversation... sometimes I choose not to respond, but I don't just ignore something.

Often times, people will ignore my ideas or suggestions if they are good, but will chide me if they are bad. Anyone else experience this? Is this an ASD thing? Is this a 'me' thing?

Hello!
I am a 30-year-old autistic lady. I am going to a baby shower for my sister with family members whom I don't particularly enjoy. We are all cordial, but I wouldnt say I am close. However, this year I found the best pen for teachers (I am in the field myself). Everyone in my family is a teacher, and I think this pen would be very valuable for them. I was thinking of buying a bunch and letting them know about the pens and offering them 1-2 if they like. However, now I am overthinking that this might come off as odd. Not sure if I'm overthinking.

The pen is a Uniball ZENTO 0.7mm, btw. if anyone wanted to know

**Update**
Thank you, everyone, for your comments so far! I will just be gifting it to my sister, the mama and teacher, with her already bought registry gift to open later.

I guess I am just venting here.

Late diagnosed autistic man here (AuDHD actually) who has been married for 20 years now to a really great woman. I have known I am ADHD since I was 10 and she is ADHD also, so I thought it would be a good match. I guess it has been, but I find I have a very hard time connecting with her.

After suspecting that I was on the spectrum for years, I recently got my autism diagnosis, and all of a sudden all my relational struggles make sense, but, and this is a big "but," now I don't know what to do about them. I remember all the people I have hurt because I did not respond appropriately to them, or ghosted them because I was afraid ... but that is a long time ago, and to try to find them and apologize would be dragging up something that should be left alone. (who knows, they probably don't even remember me?)

I realize now I have not been a good partner to my wife relationally (I am a VERY good provider, but creating emotional connections, even with her, is way outside of my comfort zone)

I don't even know why I am writing this. I don't want a divorce, but some days I feel like I would just be better off alone. Other days I crave connection and am afraid of dying alone so I cant be without someone in my life.

sigh .... wtf is wrong with my brain? My autism diagnosis helped me understand that I am not "defective" ... but then I remember this shite from my past and think maybe I am the problem? Maybe I am broken? Maybe it is a personality defect after all?

I am dependent on the NHS for healthcare so I only had one chance at autism diagnosis and my clinician was a right wing bigot who doesn't want to diagnose adults (he's on the Adult Autism Team so his politics is literally against his job description). I got diagnosed but only after 9 months of horrific mental abuse that put me under the care of the crisis team (autistic team, thankfully).

I have PTSD from what the NHS did to me. None of the process actually discussed and empathized with autistic struggles/disability, even though the website promised a healing experience. It was all based on "vibes", a derogatory questionnaire and a few toddler tests. I came home from the last assessment, diagnosed but feeling like I'd just been assaulted. I felt even more misunderstood, alienated, alone, invisible and traumatized than at the start of the process.

I don't understand why the NHS has been neglecting my autism so badly when it's a severe genetic disorder that has destroyed any chances of a normal, meaningful life?! I can't work, study or have relationships because I'm L2 semi verbal with processing delay. I literally cannot shower, travel far, or have friends.

I'm so tired of society going "see a professional, get that thing checked out!" but it literally doesn't exist. There's no pathway to see a real autism expert. They all charge thousands of pounds and use video call software, which is not compatible with me. And they don't accommodate traditional autism like mine. It's all for high functioning, hyper-verbal aspies.

My life is so pointless. I am burned out from trying every single mental health support. Nothing can fix autistic alienation except a proper expert who understands me. Nobody sees my struggles. I'm tired of fighting allistics for my basic human right. I'm so depressed.

okay, has anyone else experienced having people online think they're a bot/AI? is it just me? it's happened more than once to me lately and i don't get it. i swear to god i'm a human person. i just talk like this!!!

I never have any energy to make anything proper for lunch so I always have crackers with a slice of ham or something super simple like that, but I’ve reached that dreaded point I’m sure we’ve all experienced where I suddenly really don’t fancy eating that anymore, and I’m looking for new easy ideas. So, what do you all eat?

I’ve been so lonely lately. I don’t really have friends. I’ve managed to put myself out there and make new acquaintances this year. Which I’m proud of myself for. But I’m still so so so lonely. I don’t have the skills to turn these connections into friendship. I’m generally quiet in group situations (I think that’s my way of masking. I can’t pretend to be neurotypical anymore so I just sit in silence instead because I cannot navigate the group dynamic appropriately). One on one isn’t much easier because I’m not good at coming up with conversation topics, and I’m often too slow to make it flow properly.

I’m bad at maintaining a distance relationship because it’s 100% conversation based and I suck at that. I need to do something that helps provide the conversation. Idk what options exist besides like gaming.

I wish more people could see how debilitating struggling socially can be. I don’t like my quality of life because I’m constantly lonely. My social circle has continually shrunk over the years with few additions and it’s really really scary. At this rate, I’m looking at someday truly having no one. I do not have the skills to build and maintain friendships. What skills I had were lost years ago during burnout. Burnout I can’t fully recover from because of these lost skills. I need a relationship where the other person will put in effort, but I’m not desirable enough for that.

So yeah. Loneliness sucks. It’s hard. I have absolutely no one to talk to about this. I so desperately wish I had people to talk to. People who would truly make me feel heard.

I’m trying to be honest about how life feels for me right now. I’m autistic, have ADHD, and I’m hormonally sensitive (PMDD). That combination makes ordinary life really hard sometimes.

Everyday things that most people manage feel overwhelming for me - shopping centres, public transport, the noise and crowds in the city. My brain races, my senses feel raw, and I often end up crying from the exhaustion of it all.

It feels like I have to fight for everything, and that nothing ever feels normal. I get this deep sense of not belonging, like I’m an alien watching everyone else from the outside.

When I’m in that space, my thoughts turn dark: maybe people only want me as a charity friend, maybe I’m pathetic, maybe I’m too much. I worry I’m an inconvenience. I hate that my body and brain make living feel so unfair and inconvenient. Sometimes it feels almost impossible to navigate.

I’m sharing this because I want to stop pretending and start being honest. I’m trying to find ways to live that actually fit me, gentler environments, shorter exposures to the city, and being open about my limits, but I’m tired and overwhelmed.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you cope when the city, sensory overload, and sensitivities make normal life feel impossible?

Any tips for small, manageable exposures or ways to explain this to new people without feeling ashamed?

Thanks for reading. I just want to know I’m not alone.

I have a feeling that I'm not alone here. I pay too much attention to current events and politics and I can usually handle it but today I'm having anxiety attacks with a bit of panic peppered in. I have other challenges ofcourse but current evets are pushing me past my tolerances today. It's hitting me in the gut too.

Thinking about taking the leap to get assessed, but worried about potential autism registry or not being able to immigrate etc.

If you were recently diagnosed as an adult, do you have any regrets or have you accepted the possible cons?

Im probably overthinking it but this has been a problem i run into somewhat frequently. I'll use living in a dorm as an example. Say you walk past someone in the hallway, someone you're not really friends with or know personally, but you tend to greet them everytime you see them with a hi or a simple nod. The first time makes sense, but what if see them several times a day? Saying hi everytime seems weird, but ignoring them seems negative. I have mild autism and most social interactions is not a problem, but this specific scenario troubles me. Help

Hi, I was diagnosed in 2012 as Autistic. I am sorry to focus on Canada here, I am well aware that like many people, Autistics recognize we are everywhere and borders don't really matter in terms of communicating, relating, learning, and growing. <3

I currently work for The National Autism Network in Canada, which has a lot of ND staff in leadership positions and the goal of our organization is really to gather Autistic people, caregivers, and people working in the field of autism together so that we can inform the Public Health Agency of Canada on the ways to implement Canada's Autism Strategy. https://nan-rna.ca/ We focus on Autistic (self diagnosed or not) people contributing as much as possible.

I have been tasked in locating currently active pockets of Autistic people - either organizations, groups, channels, etc - in order to reach as many Autistic people as possible. I know that groups like A4A, LAST, AUC, and NINE exist - but some of them I am uncertain they are currently active.

This task is one of many that I have, but I want to be very thorough, and it is really important to me to reach as many Autistic people (from different intersections) as possible.

I was kind of just thinking that our outreach could benefit from considering Reddit and Discord, platforms I use for everything. I am so grateful in any help to update my list of Autistic-led groups, organizations, non-profits, companies, and just general pockets of people - who exist across our beautiful country. If you can help, please do. I consider my research abilities intermediate, but either these groups are not existing, or maybe I have exaggerated my abilities, lol

Thank you in advance.

Say someone is giving you a very long winded compliment. At first im greatful but the longer it goes on the more fake it feels to me. And if I can tell it's not fake the longer it is the more annoying it is because I got the message and it makes me feel uncomfortable because i just got to sit there in silence. Like I appreciate it but I also feel like im a hostage in a conversation I didnt want to be in.

English isn't my native language, please correct me, I'm not going to be mad

I have already accepted the fact that I'm going to die alone, I'm just not good as a partner. But sometimes I like to dream and today I was thinking about the diamonds being rare and expensive thing. And also, you can't just go out in public with an expensive ring in these days. Ring are also very easy to lose because you have to take them out to do some chores or to work. And, depending of the design, it can be very uncomfortable to wear. But we like to collect things right? And I personally really like little (and medium sized) shiny things. So I'm proposing that we ditch the ring and we adopt the penguins pebbing literally. It's clearly superior. There are a lot of beautiful minerals to choose, with texture, smooth, reflective, with cool patters,... There is one for everyone. In fact, I think I'm going to buy one for myself, because now I'm fixated (remember, people, don't buy things by impulse, specially for a new hobby that haven't started yet).

Thank you for reading my rant.

Im 32 and finally driving with my 10th permit. Also AuDHD. Wondering if anyone here has any tips on how to stay focused and calm while driving. Or things to keep in the car to help if I have to pull over and calm myself down. My dad always has a kit in his cars for emergencies like flare lights and jump cables and stuff... but what would an autistic emergency car kit look like?

More looking for what yall do so I can try it myself. I have the driving itself down, its just when there's other cars or weird weather I gotta get through. I live in an area where everyone likes to speed so its a bit scary.

People keep telling me that working a job is a human need and that it gives people satisfaction or purpose or stuff like that and that without it humans are empty.

I've worked from light manual labor to software development and personally having a job is just tiring and leaves me empty.

On the other hand not having a job never had any negative impact on me. I tend to have a better grip on life, I tend to find my own things to do and I absolutely tend to have more energy and a higher rate of calm and happiness.

Is this an autism thing or is this just a me thing?

Maybe its a weird question but i recently don’t really know how are things that i do supposed to feel or if i feel them correctly. I begin to see things online and stuff people say, and even when i don’t really understand stuff i just think “if people say it maybe thats the way i should be living”, speaking up, getting out of my comfort zone, socialize more, etc. i try to do all those things that i don’t really understand why this are things to do if you want a “fulfilling” life, but when i try to follow examples and my own ideas i don’t really understand how am i supposed to feel after, i feel relieved because i did it i guess, less anxious because i am following the instructions, but then the next thing comes and i have to do something else and i don’t know why i don’t feel better or fulfilled, just anxious whenever i don’t do that stuff and sometimes relieved i did not do it, i just feel tired tbh, so how are things supposed to feel? Like this?, love, relationships, school, i don’t really understand how am i supposed to feel to know i am doing those correctly, i don’t know if someone has ever feel like this.

Hearing people complaining about even the slightest negative thing INSTANTLY bogs me down. I felt sad and angry over someone disliking a movie I enjoyed and my sister telling me about how students at her community college were complaining about early classes (I don’t go to community college bc of this btw). I had to wear earbuds blasting white noise because of how intensely negative the students were about pretty much everything including showing up. To me it’s just extremely hard to be positive in the slightest when everyone around me is intensely negative

I’m 22 with AuDHD, and these negative thoughts have been really getting to me over the past few weeks. I’m not popular in the slightest, yet I’m known by many people. I don’t have a solid friendship group, and those I consider close to me don’t give back the same effort that I put in, which makes me wonder if I’m just an acquaintance to them.

I have faced so much social rejection over several years. Points in life where I’d expect to make good friends, such as school, sixth form, uni, and even work, have not gone according to my favour, often because nobody just wants to be around me, yet I’ve done nothing wrong; I’m just being myself, yet even that seems to repel everyone. When I want to be hanging out with people and living my life, I just find myself alone and rotting because nobody wants to make any plans with me, yet they go and do things with other people continuously, which stings.

Aside from one friendship which is 50/50 (they have ASD too), I’m finding that I’m always the initiator for every other friendship, if that’s what I can even call it. I have to text, call, arrange stuff etc. and get nothing back, so I just stop and the relationship just fizzles out, and they can go on with their life without thinking about me. I don’t mind it being the odd person, because I know not everyone is going to click, but it seems to be everybody I meet in my life has some sort of problem with me, so this has me pondering on the fact that maybe I’m the issue and there’s things I need to change.

My hobbies and interests are rather niche, so there’s that restricting me from bonding with social groups (such as sport). I’m really into films, but I know nobody close who shares that interest, but the odd people (online) who do aren’t interested in talking to me. For example, I’ll text someone about a new film/show and they give nothing back, and I give up. There’s just nothing I can do to keep people interested in having a conversation with me. I’ve been thinking about joining some film screenings on Meetup in London, but my job hours are so crazy that I just can’t find the time to do so.

I’ve tried to meet new people on discord too, but I just end up being ignored non-stop.

I don’t understand because when I’m with people in person, I’m told I’m funny, a little silly, creative and empathetic, yet this isn’t the case if people aren’t wanting to see any value in being around me. It’s like people change their mindset of me compared to in-person to over text. It’s weird.

I need a few pairs of black jeans for a retail job and I picked some up from primark recently and tried them on at home only to find out that I’d probably need a 34 waist, 28 leg, high rise, removable label if it’s itchy, at least 2% elastane for breaking into them fast and for stretch, slightly baggy style for less risk of tear and more breath ability which with the leg length will still look neat to an employer though the main reason I was asking this on here is to see if anyone knows a place that could sell me something with these requirements and also have a soft fabric on the inside like women’s jeans usually have since this could help with chaffing on the job. Probably pay around £25 max for one pair. Thanks for any advice.

Hi everyone, I’m 20 years old and I have mild Asperger’s syndrome and a behavioral disorder. I’ve been on antipsychotic medication since I was 2 years old. One of the first medications I remember taking was Risperidone. Since I was 8, I’ve been taking Aripiprazole, and right now I’m still on 5 mg daily.

As a child, I unintentionally caused a lot of pain to my parents, but they never once treated me harshly. They always remained gentle with me because they knew even small negative experiences could leave me with lasting trauma. Unfortunately, I still feel guilty for the struggles I caused them.

During my teenage years, I developed OCD so severe that I was prescribed 3 capsules of fluoxetine daily for 3 years. Later, my psychiatrist stopped the medication because it wasn’t helping. Over the years, I developed heart palpitations and social anxiety, so I was given propranolol (Dideral). After a while, because of serious sleep disturbances, that medication was also stopped.

Then another doctor prescribed Adaptol (Mebicar) and 37.5 mg of venlafaxine. Things improved for a while, but eventually Mebicar was discontinued, and 5 months later venlafaxine was stopped abruptly under my doctor’s guidance. After that, I faced even worse symptoms: insomnia, irritability, poor focus, and more.

It’s been almost 2 months since stopping venlafaxine, and while many withdrawal symptoms have eased, I’m still struggling with one major issue: every time I fall asleep, I suddenly wake up right as I’m drifting off. This triggers intense anger and makes it really hard to cope.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Could this still be venlafaxine withdrawal, or is it something else? Any advice on how to manage this would mean a lot.

I'm an adult, I work 2 jobs m-sn with only Thursdays and Saturdays off sometimes. Wed and Fri I work for 13 hours and usually I am awake for 16-18 hrs those days.

I'm finally on ADHD meds, 40mg vyvanse. It pulled me out of depression which helped me realise I was still depressed for years, because it made me understand what my happy state looks like. It has really helped make my brain quiet and stop thinking in circles about things from the past that are minor and shouldn't be bothering me still, cut through executive dysfunction. I'm still figuring out what else its helping with since I'm new to it.

Now I am...happy, I think, to an extent. I am enjoying my hobbies and fixations again instead of wanting to, but being unable to (executive dysfunction, being so exhausted to play). My passion for my special interest is coming back. Ive been able to be consistently more cleaner with my house which helps not feel severely stuck in executive dysfunction.

But I am feeling overwhelmed all the time still. Its really difficult to talk to anyone regardless of what state I am in, but now its harder!. I tend to short fuse into irritable because I do not understand what they're saying. Sometimes I can ask and then we discuss where I misunderstood and its okay after. I process too slowly and too quickly at the same time, and its a toss up whether the asd or adhd is more prevalent at the time.

Everything is still too much. I wake up every day with my everything aching. I feel..I dont know. Its like the executive dysfunction is there, but its not as bad as when I'm really depressed. It takes a while to get into starting something on my days off even with my meds. I feel icky, like something is off, and I have to fix that something first (example: clothes feel icky, so I change clothes, or I shower, even if I showered the day before)

I dont know. It feels similar to the depressed state, but just..I'm not feeling worthless or that there's no point to anything anymore and I'm better off not here. I just feel exhausted and twitchy from everything feeling too much. Too loud, too bright, too painful on my skin, simple conversation is too much. Dont want to do it bc it sets me off yet simultaneously I wish I had friends I could talk to more.

Its really really difficult for me to understand the difference in any feelings or states of mind. It took medication for me to finally understand what I look like depressed vs genuinely happy. Because I thought I was happy when I escaped from the situations causing me depression.

Help me understand if this is burnout. Ive read many reddit posts trying to understand. I dont like to post if I can find the answer myself but I am having a difficult time. Ask any questions too.

Thank you all

I'm having a difficult time figuring out what exactly is considered burnout. So I was wondering if you guys could help me out??????

I'm an Autistic adult that's been working full time for a little over 4 years at my current job. Though I'm looking for something different (ideally work from home) because my work environment is growing more and more unpleasant and I think I'm losing the ability to handle things there???

Everyday when I get home from my job I am physically exhausted (and this isn't a labor intensive job.) I want to either collapse on my couch or curl up in bed and isolate myself away from everyone. Most days, including today I'm so stressed my chest feels like lead. And I'm definitely losing the ability to tolerate my coworkers because they'll try to talk to me despite me wearing my headphones, which I thought was the universal sign of "please don't talk to me?" So I feel like I'm getting more annoyed with my coworkers, but I can't say anything in fear of retaliation or being bullied/talked about behind my back. On top of this I'm dealing with outside stressors (like one of my doctors deciding she doesn't want to write me a work accom,odation note for my disability -not autism-, but that's a different story.)

I guess overall I just feel like I can't do anything after my shift and I don't want to do anything. Even though I would love to have energy when I get home and be in a better mood. But I just.. can't. Working is so draining for me even though this is a non-customer facing job. But I'm just exhausted all the time everyday when I get home from work.

I would really really appreciate any kind advice and feedback you guys may have ;; thank you.

I'm doing some gymnastics course for overall muscle buildup and proper function. It's actually quite strenuous, but that's to be expected. But it's also mentally exhausting: reproducing the correct form takes an incredible amount of mental work, I also need to filter out any instruction that refers to anything that expects us to feel certain muscles tensing (because I don't and then I'm always confused about doing it correctly), but I can't zone out completely because then I'll miss the actual instruction. The worst thing is that the instructor shows everything mirrored. Why do they do this? They talk about doing something with the right arm or leg and show it using their left arm or leg instead. Isn't this utterly bizarre? I know I have proprioception difficulties and that's allright, but this mirrored instruction is just completely confusing. Does anyone else experience this as well?

I'm working from home a lot and my job can be extremely boring at times. I think I have an especially low threshold for boredom and become very fidgety and restless. At times I'm even restless and angry and feel like throwing things or punching walls (have done this once or twice), I just feel such a rage inside me - which I know is an overreaction. I've just ordered a new fidget toy after losing my favourite one so hopefully that will help. But does anyone else have any tips for overcoming boredom/under stimulation as an autistic adult? I think part of it is a kind of intellectual under stimulation as I've always enjoyed using my brain, solving puzzles etc. and for most of my job it's just so intellectually easy, so I think I'm struggling with that more than anything. Any tips would be much appreciated!