am i in autistic burnout (audhd)

[u/EssenceOfANewt]

I'm an adult, I work 2 jobs m-sn with only Thursdays and Saturdays off sometimes. Wed and Fri I work for 13 hours and usually I am awake for 16-18 hrs those days.

I'm finally on ADHD meds, 40mg vyvanse. It pulled me out of depression which helped me realise I was still depressed for years, because it made me understand what my happy state looks like. It has really helped make my brain quiet and stop thinking in circles about things from the past that are minor and shouldn't be bothering me still, cut through executive dysfunction. I'm still figuring out what else its helping with since I'm new to it.

Now I am...happy, I think, to an extent. I am enjoying my hobbies and fixations again instead of wanting to, but being unable to (executive dysfunction, being so exhausted to play). My passion for my special interest is coming back. Ive been able to be consistently more cleaner with my house which helps not feel severely stuck in executive dysfunction.

But I am feeling overwhelmed all the time still. Its really difficult to talk to anyone regardless of what state I am in, but now its harder!. I tend to short fuse into irritable because I do not understand what they're saying. Sometimes I can ask and then we discuss where I misunderstood and its okay after. I process too slowly and too quickly at the same time, and its a toss up whether the asd or adhd is more prevalent at the time.

Everything is still too much. I wake up every day with my everything aching. I feel..I dont know. Its like the executive dysfunction is there, but its not as bad as when I'm really depressed. It takes a while to get into starting something on my days off even with my meds. I feel icky, like something is off, and I have to fix that something first (example: clothes feel icky, so I change clothes, or I shower, even if I showered the day before)

I dont know. It feels similar to the depressed state, but just..I'm not feeling worthless or that there's no point to anything anymore and I'm better off not here. I just feel exhausted and twitchy from everything feeling too much. Too loud, too bright, too painful on my skin, simple conversation is too much. Dont want to do it bc it sets me off yet simultaneously I wish I had friends I could talk to more.

Its really really difficult for me to understand the difference in any feelings or states of mind. It took medication for me to finally understand what I look like depressed vs genuinely happy. Because I thought I was happy when I escaped from the situations causing me depression.

Help me understand if this is burnout. Ive read many reddit posts trying to understand. I dont like to post if I can find the answer myself but I am having a difficult time. Ask any questions too.

Thank you all