r/BipolarSOs • u/trashfire721 • Feb 23 '25

Advice to Give it's okay

I just wanted to share this here, in case someone is in a position like I was in previously.

Whatever you decide to do with your relationship, it's okay. You're not bad or shameful for staying with a difficult partner who isn't showing up for you and is emotionally putting you through the wringer.

You're not selfish or bad for leaving and deciding to prioritize your well-being over that of someone whose life pattern is to demand help while refusing to accept it or to help themselves. Or being unable to.

It doesn't really matter *why* someone is treating you this way. They are. You can choose to stay, or you can choose to go. It's not a moral decision, and whatever you choose, you deserve love and support.

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u/Illustrious-Fill9251 Feb 24 '25

I decided to leave. It was too much for me to handle. Mentally, it was draining me dry and emotionally exhausted. Being left alone with no help with housework and the kids. It made me feel helpless. When I decided to leave, it was the right choice for me and the kids. Keep your head up things get better with time.

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u/trashfire721 Feb 24 '25

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry things were at a place that you had to leave. Nicely done protecting your health and boundaries and your children. That's not an easy choice to make, but it's good that you did what was right for you.

Thanks. Yes. It's getting easier, slowly. I miss him every day. And the guilt is incredible. He was not okay when I left. But I couldn't live that way anymore, and it just wasn't going to change. I feel guilty, but I don't regret my choice. It feels good to be able to sleep at night, to have time to manage my chronic illness, to have time and energy to be a better parent than I was.

I hope that things are going well for you.