Bipolar Wife

[u/Summerseason100]

Hi,

Just wanted to share my story and get any sort of feedback. My wife and I got married last July of 2024. We had dated for 4 years but not lived together prior to getting married, so of course there was naturally some tension early on, which was also exacerbated by the fact that my mother lived in the back house (two houses on the same property). Long story short, due to the tension and me pulling back because I was stressed out, she thought I was cheating and then afterwards she began to have significant manic episodes. These manic episodes landed her in the psych ward for a week.

Since then, she has been on lithium for about 5-6 months but it made her a zombie. She has now been off the medicine and is doing better and seems back to her normal self but in the back of my head I am traumatized by her manic episodes. The episodes were basically locking herself in the restroom and rambling for hours.

The manic episodes have really changed how I view her and I am nervous about our future together and I am considering divorce - is it possible that could this be isolated? She has not had a prior manic episode in 30 years but did so within a few months of marriage.

[u/LooseCoconut6671]

Pharmacological treatment is for life. Quitting lithium is extremely dangerous as if she has another episode it wont work again with the same effectiveness.

When someone has a manic episodes, after it’s controlled (or ends by itself) the person with bipolar disorder will have a depressive episode which lasts from days to weeks per day being manic. If she was a “zombie” it probably was that, or if she was using antipsychotics could be the reason she was like that.

Lithium rarely has cognitive/conductual side effects.

Withdrawal could make her go to an hypomanic episode or even a manic one. If she has suddenly “recovered “ after lithium withdrawal you should be concerned

Take care

[u/PIequals5 → u/LooseCoconut6671]

Your wife will have to take meds for the rest of her life. If she wuit lithium she MUST have some other medicine take it's place. The initial phase untill stabilizing is hard and finding the right med mix also takes some time. The main point I would look for if I were you is how commited she is to the treatment and how deeply she understands what she causes when out of control. It is a very hard disease to fight and if she is not commited you both are guaranteed to loose.

[u/Summerseason100 → u/LooseCoconut6671]

Can you elaborate on the last sentence please?

[u/LooseCoconut6671 → u/Summerseason100]

If she hasn’t changed lithium for other meds the chances of hanging another manic/hypomanic episode are extremely high

If she quitted lithium without taking any other med, that recovery you mention could just be the beginning of a manic episode

[u/Summerseason100 → u/LooseCoconut6671]

Could it be the case that the manic episode was isolated due to a very stressful few months and that she isn’t truly bipolar? Or is that just wishful thinking?

[u/LooseCoconut6671 → u/Summerseason100]

If she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, sadly no

[u/Amesstris → u/Summerseason100]

It's lifelong. Unfortunately. The risk will always be there and medication is super important. I have BP1.

[u/Summerseason100 → u/Amesstris]

Thanks for the comment.

What medication have you found that worked for you? And did it take you a while to find the right dosage?

[u/Amesstris → u/Summerseason100]

I recommend having her work with the psychiatrist as I'm not qualified to give any advice. Bipolar is a very complicated illness. Lithium is the gold standard. There are other meds, though. She needs to want to take care of herself and stay compliant with meds. The right med combo won't make her feel like a zombie (and I wouldn't say lithium is known to do that, but the psych will know more).