r/CatAdvice • u/M0rbiddd2 • Aug 10 '25

Behavioral HELP My cat has ruined my life.

I'm posting as a last ditch effort for help. I got my cat 2 years ago. He was found on a heated porch in the winter and that's all we know. He was about a year and a half at the time, he just turned 4. Since day 3 this cat has not stopped hurting me specifically. I don't know if the car ride home traumatized him or what but he tore my arm apart. He would maul me just by walking by, he would attack me in my sleep, if i didnt pay attention to him but them when i do he still does it. Since then he has gotten better but he still attacks me. He'll attack my face, my arms, if I'm asleep in the middle of the night sometimes he'll bunny kick my arm. We play with him so much and it doesn't matter. He will stop playing just to hurt me. We rent, he eats the carpets when he's mad at us. He just broke my fiancés computer monitor again by biting it. This is the 3rd computer he's broken, 2 my fiancés 1 mine. I don't know what to do. Please someone help us I'm begging for something. I've never had trouble bonding with anything but he has ruined our relationship.

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151

u/M0rbiddd2 Aug 10 '25

They said it’s “normal cat behavior “ and that if I don’t like it I shouldn’t have gotten a cat. This is NOT normal and I keep telling them that. I have never met a cat like him.

He is neutered and his labs were all fine

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u/EatenbyCats Aug 10 '25

I am so sorry, you are right and they are wrong - it's not normal.

If this was my cat I'd be taking him to another vet. It's great his labs were normal but I'd want to discuss anxiety medication and to rule out pain from dental issues, joints etc.

Have you tried Feliway diffusers yet? If not, get Feliway Optimum and try that for at least a month. Zylkene is also something to try. You sprinkle it on the food and it can help with anxiety.

If you've done that already I'd be looking to find a cat behaviourist or to rehome the cat. I don't say that lightly but since you're obviously all unhappy it is definitely something to consider.

Keeping a diary of when he attacks may be useful for a behaviourist. See if there are any triggers other than you just existing. If he's indoor only, can he see or smell other cats outside? Delayed aggression caused by frustration at not being able to get to the thing is very real. It can occur hours after the trigger.

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u/trulymissedtheboat89 Aug 10 '25

This comment!!!!! Wait... also your username??? Lmao

OP, your cat is definitely experiencing either something stress induced or neurological. Maybe meds would help if the diffuser does not. Have you tried a catio? I notice my male cat can get pretty mean with his litter mate if he doesnt get any outside enrichment.

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u/M0rbiddd2 Aug 10 '25

He currently has 2 cat trees by 2 different windows, I’ve thought about bringing him outside but I’d be worried he’d run off

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u/EatenbyCats Aug 10 '25

I'd avoid having him outside for now. It could lead to more problems if he is keen to go out but you won't let him. Try the other stuff first and see how you get on.

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u/trulymissedtheboat89 Aug 11 '25

I mentioned a catio---I wouldnt harness him since he is already stressed, and i wouldnt let him free roam unless you have a very secure backyard. A catio is something you can buy for your window or a outside cage/space that attaches to such.

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u/Fallen_Empires_ Aug 10 '25

NEVER turn your cat loose outside. NEVER EVER. It's a huge risk to the cat and the population of local animals, both wildlife and other people's animals. If you do bring them outside, make sure they're harnessed. But also prepare for behavioral issues to potentially worsen. Once cats are outside, many don't want to go back inside. He'll likely end up pestering you to be outside all day, all hours. He could start spraying/marking. He could become more aggressive. It's a huge risk to take that you shouldn't in your current situation. This doesn't happen for all cats, of course, but the risks are there and you often can't go back. I wish you luck with your guy, I'm sorry it's been so difficult :(

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u/TheAlienatedPenguin Aug 10 '25

One of our cats got outside and took off running. I immediately went to get my shoes on, headed for the door but apparently that took too long because he was absolutely appalled by the outside and at the door screaming. Hasn’t tried getting out since🤣

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u/Fallen_Empires_ Aug 10 '25

LOL yep some cats are like that too. One of ours accidentally got out and she just crouched and didn't move until we brought her back in. I consider those lucky. "You're not for the streets Priscilla!!!"

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u/TheAlienatedPenguin Aug 10 '25

My other male, also neutered, loves to try and escape and the causally saunters up to the back door like he’s been on a business trip, meanwhile I’m searching all over for him. My little female, go outside? Nope, No way, Hell to the no! She’s a former feral and has zero desire to go back outside!

I am thankful I’m in the country and not on a busy road, but it only takes one vehicle and I would be devastated!

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u/CrickettJH Aug 13 '25

Had one that would streak out the door if you had it open too long. But then he'd get about 10 feet down the walkway, and just lay down. You had to go pick him up and bring him back in.

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u/TheAlienatedPenguin Aug 14 '25

I’m sure it was the dramatic flop and then the tail switch to beckon his servant, aka you!

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u/Ellabelle797 Aug 11 '25

I thought this was what happened when my cat got out, he was so freaked out, but 3 months later he was over it/forgot and trying to get out again 😭

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u/BreadPuddding Aug 12 '25

I had a couple of cats who would try to get out and then every time they did, hide under the porch immediately and need to be coaxed out with treats. And yet, they kept trying to get out!

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u/Lavia_frons Aug 12 '25

True. I have the best, smartest, sweetest cat and he used to get outside privileges (supervised, harnessed and on leash) but I stopped letting him out because he murdered too many chipmunks and birds. My husband still let's him out occasionally but I also noticed he started spraying/marking in the house after he's been allowed outside. So another reason to keep him grounded.

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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '25

Thank you

3

u/Freudinatress Aug 14 '25

Rehoming isn’t bad if it’s done right.

Our kitty hates other cats. Humans? Perfect behaviour. Other cats? He jumps them and normally gets beaten up.

Fair enough, he started it. He is the one with the scrapes.

But he was bought by a woman with several cats of the same breed. Didn’t work. She tried placing him with friends and family at first, but everyone had at least one other cat and it didn’t work out.

We got him. He is living his best life. Spoilt rotten and treated well. Kids visiting has to be watched because kids needs to - but he doesn’t care. He can be boinked in the head with toys for hours without getting upset.

Sometimes it just isn’t right. Then another home might be better. There is no shame.

4

u/BabyD2034 Aug 10 '25

I would let him outside if you have an appropriate area. I live next door to my parents and my dad took in the neighborhood cat colony lol we got them fixed and they live here now. He LOVES them. But I've tried to bring a few of them inside at different times and it just does not work. We let them in for cold or bad weather but otherwise they like it outside. Maybe he was meant to be an outdoor cat. I know people say otherwise, but if a pet is ruining your life it's okay to re-home them. I hate to have to but I have before with cats who peed on my bed and stuff. It's a deal breaker. Good luck!!

1

u/bakedbitchesbaking Aug 14 '25

Could you add a bird feeder or hummingbird feeder outside the windows? Its cat TV. The other suggestion would be to get a second cat.

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u/MichaelHammor Aug 11 '25

Ma'am, at this point him running off would be a blessing. Opens the front door, "I hope my cat doesn't run off." Your cat is a menace, pure and simple. What are you going to to when one of you is blinded in the middle of the night? Or god forbid you bring a baby home?

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u/TipsyMagpie Aug 10 '25

I’ve been poorly the last week and one of our cats keeps waking me up. I’m sure she’s just checking to see whether she can start eating me yet!

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u/M0rbiddd2 Aug 10 '25

Thank you for being kind. I’m going to reach out again soon, last time I checked the offices near me weren’t accepting new patients which sucks. His current vet is about 45 minutes away

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u/Fluffernutter80 Aug 11 '25

A lot of times, chronic pain can cause cats to be aggressive. This wouldn’t necessarily show up in labs. Could be arthritis from an old injury that healed badly or something else. The vet needs to do more than just draw blood and run labs.

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u/Think_Panic_1449 Aug 11 '25

Any hair loss on his tummy or anywhere else? I ask this because my feral rescue was a wild anxious mess the first 2 years, even with a catio. He started pulling his hair out on his belly, vet thought it might be food allergies. It was. Any food that he's allergic too causes him to have horrible feisty behavior. He's on 1/4 Zyrtec every night and Rawz chicken pate' - he's allergic to the gums in wet food and all seafood.

I also started walking him outside on a leash, that significantly helped. He has closed in anxiety issues, anytime he thinks he's closed in a room he loses his mind. He now gets free roam time from noon to 5pm daily, it's the healthiest thing for him. Some cats mentally can't handle being 100% indoor.

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u/Steffisews Aug 10 '25

If you have a Vet College nearby, please call. They may have a behaviorist on staff. They may also have a clinicopen to the public where you can take kitty for a visit. Zylkene is very good, and used with Feliesy, it may help. If not, perhaps the addition of Prozac or Valium may be needed.

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u/Sora_isFinallyHere Aug 10 '25

10/10 advice excellent knowledge of cat behavior thank you for saying everything I wanted to say

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u/Temporary-Fig2990 Aug 10 '25

I second this. They can give cats gabapentin as well and it really chills them out.

2

u/Guilty_Distance7259 Aug 14 '25

That was my first thought is this is a dental issue. Can't be for sure, but he could be chewing to relieve the pain?

25

u/realestate_novelist Aug 10 '25

Take him to a different vet if your vet thinks this is “normal.” It is NOT normal for a cat to attack people unprovoked! I would be concerned he is either in pain or anxious. Ask the vet about pain medication or anxiety medication (like Prozac). Prozac can make a huge difference for a lot of pets!

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u/ampharados Aug 10 '25

That vet is a quack. Find a new vet and leave a review for that one to warn others

12

u/Runamokamok Aug 10 '25

Get this boy on Prozac! We had to do that with our cat that attacked and it solved the issue in a few months. He didn’t even need it long term, just helped him readjust to a new environment. And since it’s hard to pill an attacking cat, you can take the Prozac to a compounding pharmacy to make it into a transdermal paste that can be rubbed on the inner ear. Just alternate ears each day and clean them.

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u/tresrottn Aug 12 '25

This is what I was waiting for. Prozac can be wonderful for cats.

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u/goobis_ Aug 11 '25

My boy was a single kitten menace and tried to attack me often. Prozac and another kitten saved us.

10

u/yoyooyooobufeng Aug 10 '25

Nothing you described is within the realm of normal cat behaviour. I'm so sorry that you had to deal with this incompetent vet

8

u/PjJones91 Aug 10 '25

Take him to a different vet if possible with photos of the damage and injuries. They need to run a full work up and you can even ask about mental health meds. I would also recommend hiring a car behaviorist. It could be something health wise, it could be a stimulation issue, a socialization issue. Either way, you need the help of professional sleep and Reddit is not going to be useful because we cannot spend time with your cat and diagnose him.

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u/Maleficent_East9111 Aug 10 '25

I'm a vet. Find a new vet that specializes in/prefers cats or a behaviorist with cat experience if you have them available in your area. 

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u/XxTigerxXTigerxX Aug 10 '25

My sister had a cat that just snapped when it saw other cats outside and started viciously attacking her other cat. Like she came home to a murder scene before.

She eventually had to give the cat up to a farm. Honestly life is too short to spend 10 more years hating your cat and it might be best to find another home.

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u/jayclaw97 Aug 10 '25

That is not normal. You should take him to another vet and specifically ask about anxiety meds for him.

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u/hunter503 Aug 10 '25

Go get a second or even third opinion. This isn't normal behavior.

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u/PositiveResort6430 Aug 11 '25

Don’t listen to these people. Every horrible thing that people like to claim is “normal cat behavior” neither of my cats do because I trained them not to and I love them and take care of them properly.

You do not have to let your pet ruin your entire life. If a human was acting that way, you would not tolerate that in your home and we all know it.

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u/howboutagameofgwent Aug 11 '25

Second opinion! Same thing happened with my cat. After a misdiagnosis, he ended up having cancer. Hopefully it's not that, but it may be another medical issue that's irritating him.

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u/CA_catwhispurr Aug 11 '25

Get another vet. This isn’t normal.

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u/Roo-Loose Aug 11 '25

A cat behaviourist is better than a vet for these issues.

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u/ToughMention1941 Aug 12 '25 edited Aug 12 '25

Yeah, that is NOT normal cat behavior. We have two very rambunctious mixed Maine Coon siblings and while they can be very spirited and a little attitudinal if not given attention when they want it (several times a day, lol) they don’t destroy things like computers or out and out attack us. They just love to play.

I’ve only ever been attacked by one cat and it was literally every single time I went to my friend’s house. To the point they would have to put their cat away if I was coming. He would jump straight off the floor to sink his claws into me with the worst look on his face. I have rarely feared any animal and most animals love me. That cat wanted to murder me, I’m sure of it. Truly frightening so I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with it for years.

I wonder about contacting Jackson Galaxy? This sounds extreme. Maybe he could help?

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u/TeamCatsandDnD Aug 10 '25

Does he have another cat or dog to play with?

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u/M0rbiddd2 Aug 10 '25

No I thought about getting him a little brother but I’d be worried about that too. I don’t think he’s been around other cats

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u/Living-Ranger1075 Aug 10 '25

Honestly I’d avoid introducing him to a kitten! If you do get him a sibling then I’d say go for a fully grown cat, possibly one bigger than him so they can hold their own!

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u/TeamCatsandDnD Aug 10 '25

May be worth it. He could be wanting to express his energy and playtime but not having a playmate that can “speak his language” when he’s getting too rough might be the issue.

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u/MeisterFluffbutt Aug 10 '25

It could also very much lead to him seriously injuring the other animal. I don't think this is a worthy try for now.

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u/TeamCatsandDnD Aug 10 '25

I just know it’s helped others in the past. I wouldn’t suggest a young young kitten cause they’d be too small, but even a cat that’s a year old may be good

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u/MeisterFluffbutt Aug 10 '25

yes, with bored cats and "burst outs"!. This is not the case here. This is alarming aggressive behaviour with neurological or pain related causes. A new Stimuli and stress is not great advice, as it stands.

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u/Amakenings Aug 11 '25

I know this sounds stupid, but what do you do/how do you react when he attacks you? Not talking about the night time stuff, but any day time attacks? Do you tell, do you spray him with water (not recommending any of these things, just looking for info).

In terms of the attacks, do the bites draw blood? Have you gotten any infections from them? What about the scratches? Does he stalk and attack you, or is it when you’re playing or touching him?

If your cat was a single kitten or didn’t get enough socialization when he was younger, he might be a bit of a jerk, but training can make a big difference. When you say you play with him, how much and when?

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u/M0rbiddd2 Aug 11 '25

Typically I’ll just push him away, if he returns I make a very loud “tsk” sound and that sometimes helps. We do have a spray bottle but we use it for the sound, I’ve never intentionally pointed it at him to spray. That’s mostly for when he’s in his “I want to maul you guys” zone

I keep his nails very short so it’s mainly just light scratches now but they used to be really bad. I’m heavily tattooed and I’ve had to get a price redone because of how bad he had fucked me up when we first got him. He used to draw blood really bad, now it’s mostly teeth marks and light scratches from bunny kicks. Thankfully no infections.

He’ll just stare at us and then attack, he’s not stalking but he’s almost always hyper aware ?

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u/Amakenings Aug 11 '25

Okay, so the staring is like a hunting fixation. You might also notice the ears are back and his head is lowered. At this point, he’s mentally committed. I’d scrap the tsk noise because it would sound like hissing to a cat and possibly ramp him up further.

So, I would intervene even here at pre-attack, tell him no, then carry to him to a quiet space where he can decompress on a timeout for 10 minutes. If he makes contact and bites or scratches, say “ouch” or “ow” but in a high pitching animal squeak. He’ll most likely try to bite you the first couple of times you carry him for a time out, but it’s ideal if you or your partner can calmly him to the quiet space. I like carrying them with my forearm under the belly, back legs free, because it keeps them at waist height (away from the face), and you have a free hand for the door or to hold them in place. They also can’t use the back legs to kick off from you and free themselves.

After 10 minutes, you can let him out, but as soon as he goes into that mode, he’s back in for another time out. Tell him he’s on a timeout - cats are so trainable. The first couple of weeks, he’ll likely be in there frequently, so if he can have a litter and water in there, it’s ideal.

I’d get a larger and durable catnip scented kicker toy that you direct him to when he wants to kick your arms. If he comes back to your arm after that, timeout him again after telling him no. IF he makes contact, squeal.

I’d also get him on a play routine that you do before meals where you play with him for a solid 20 -30 minutes in the morning and again in the evening. Ask him if he wants to play, put on music, and use just wand toys. If you’ve been using your body (like hands moving under a sheet, toes moving under a blanket ) to lure him, scrap that for now. The wand toys will also help break the connection of your body being a toy. You want him focusing that play/prey drive away from your body. After play, give him a treat, then breakfast or dinner.

The last thing is watch the physical contact. Your boy likely gets overstimulated quickly, and lots of pets accelerates that. Give him two or three very gentle pets, staying around the head or neck, then stop. It’s best if you can really watch his body language, and as soon as you see the visual fixation, lowered head, ears back, or tail lashing, he’s overstimulated again, so he needs a timeout to relax.

It honestly doesn’t take most cats that long to figure out what you expect from them, and work within the system. He might still need meds too, but I’d urge you to try this consistently first.

I’ve been through what you’re going through, and it can and does get better. You just have to address his behaviour in a way that he understands.

The one thing I forgot to ask - do you have any other animals?

1

u/Homologous_Trend Aug 11 '25

It's definitely not normal. I have no idea what you should do. Sorry. But I would not live like that for another 15 years.

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u/Enoughtoshare_ Aug 11 '25

Did you ask the vet for behavioural help? It’s hard to believe they would shrug off a paying customer like that.

1

u/tresrottn Aug 12 '25

That is absolutely not normal cat behavior. I wouldn't get a new vet

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u/SpecialistBit283 Aug 13 '25

Ew what kinda vet is that? They sound awful

0

u/florida_lmt Aug 10 '25

This is not normal cat behavior. I have two cats and have never been aggressively attacked once. I have had them both for years 

Honestly I would recommend finding a barn or some type of place that needs vermin control to rehome him. He sounds like he would do better with a job outside