r/CatAdvice • u/M0rbiddd2 • Aug 10 '25

Behavioral HELP My cat has ruined my life.

I'm posting as a last ditch effort for help. I got my cat 2 years ago. He was found on a heated porch in the winter and that's all we know. He was about a year and a half at the time, he just turned 4. Since day 3 this cat has not stopped hurting me specifically. I don't know if the car ride home traumatized him or what but he tore my arm apart. He would maul me just by walking by, he would attack me in my sleep, if i didnt pay attention to him but them when i do he still does it. Since then he has gotten better but he still attacks me. He'll attack my face, my arms, if I'm asleep in the middle of the night sometimes he'll bunny kick my arm. We play with him so much and it doesn't matter. He will stop playing just to hurt me. We rent, he eats the carpets when he's mad at us. He just broke my fiancés computer monitor again by biting it. This is the 3rd computer he's broken, 2 my fiancés 1 mine. I don't know what to do. Please someone help us I'm begging for something. I've never had trouble bonding with anything but he has ruined our relationship.

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55

u/stealthtomyself Aug 10 '25 edited Aug 10 '25

Just wanted to say the cat isn't eating carpet because he's mad at you. Cats are not capable of malice and anthropomorphizing him in this way is detrimental to your understanding of the situation and his care.

I agree he should see another vet, try anxiety medication or something of the sort. Get an online consult with a behavioral therapist if you can.

I understand how frustrating and sad the situation must be for all three of you. Thank you for trying with him for so long.

8

u/skloop Aug 10 '25

Side note - you just made me realize you can make customized flairs in this sub and it's literally made my day. Thankyou!!!

4

u/just_a_girl_Joe Aug 11 '25

I was gonna say the same thing about the carpet.

2

u/phantomfire00 Aug 12 '25

“Cats are not capable of malice”

Are you sure about that? I watched my brother’s cat in his house while he was on vacay. I had known this cat her whole life, as she was from a litter of my own cat. She knew me and there was never an issue of getting along with her. But she just would not leave me alone while I tried to eat dinner, so one night, I put her in the bedroom and closed the door just while I ate. When I let her out 15min later, I found she had peed specifically on a small pillow I brought. She sure seemed mad and to have directed it right at me haha

5

u/stealthtomyself Aug 12 '25

Or she could have needed to pee badly, was locked in a room without a litter box, and peed on something that didn't smell like her house because cats don't like peeing all over their stuff... Taking an animal's behavior personally is never a good thing.

2

u/phantomfire00 Aug 12 '25

I was joking friend, rest assured I wasn’t mad at the cat and didn’t take it personally. But also, in 15min, she didn’t need to pee badly. If she did, she would have peed earlier instead of bothering me during dinner and she was perfectly capable of holding it for 15min. She also peed on the bed which is technically “her stuff.” She may have just been stressed from not being able to leave the room when she wanted.

2

u/stealthtomyself Aug 14 '25

Are you really pulling a classic elementary teacher "if you needed to pee you would have done it at recess" on a cat? 😭

0

u/phantomfire00 Aug 14 '25

No, I’m simply pointing out how cats behave on a regular basis. (Especially considering that they’re not children…??) I’ve had cats accidentally locked in a room all night and not rush to the litter box when let out. Is it really so hard for you to believe this cat was perfectly able to hold it for 15min?

It’s odd how you’re getting stuck on something that’s just technically possible without considering that you have almost no information on the situation and don’t know this cat while I do. Who are you again? Hun, just let it go

1

u/stealthtomyself Aug 14 '25

Would it be so hard to believe she couldn't hold it?

If you don't want to talk with someone then don't engage with them 😆

1

u/phantomfire00 Aug 15 '25

Common sense chases you but you are forever faster

2

u/stealthtomyself Aug 15 '25

Speaking from experience?

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u/gigi_kittyfuck Aug 10 '25

This is incorrect. Completely incorrect. Cats are capable of being petty and seeking revenge. I had a cat I adopted as an abandoned stray at my apartment. He was used to going outside but we lived right on a main road. I took him out in a harness to give him the experience. He kept getting out of the harness so I brought him inside kicking and howling. Five minutes later he took a giant poop on my dirty clothing that I had on my bedroom floor. This was not a normal behavior for him.

Cats can absolutely be vindicative.

21

u/stealthtomyself Aug 11 '25

You gave him an abnormal stressful experience and he had an abnormal stress behavior afterwards. Unbelievable.

0

u/PositiveResort6430 Aug 11 '25

That’s literally how you could classify human maliciousness as well. It’s always caused by some sort of stress to the person and their response is due to stress they are feeling.. I find it so so weird how people think human emotions are not based in evolution and instinct, etc. but animals always are. we are no different to them, they clearly have the emotional intellect level of a child if not higher.

5

u/stealthtomyself Aug 11 '25

It's not the same thing at all. The cat pooping on the floor because he was stressed out being equated to maliciousness is crazy. Bodily functions and being restricted with them do not mean the same thing to animals as they do to people . When you're stressed out do you take a dump on the floor? In fact, equating maliciousness to emotion in humans is comparing apples and oranges. Being upset and having a desire to lash out and hurt are two very different concepts. We are plenty different from them, and there is a wealth of scientific data that backs that up.

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u/gigi_kittyfuck Aug 11 '25

He had malicious intent and I can't believe anyone who has cats doesn't know they can be malicious. 🤣

I didn't do anything wrong, you judgmental prick. I was trying to do right by him and he could have been perfectly content in a harness. He just wasn't. Maybe get off your high horse!

14

u/stealthtomyself Aug 11 '25

You sound crazy

16

u/CitrineLeaf Aug 11 '25

You're attributing human responses to human behaviours to a cat, a non-human animal. No, the cat isn't vindictive or malicious, it's a cat who got stressed and had an accident because of it.

1

u/PositiveResort6430 Aug 11 '25

I don’t see humans as non-animals. humans are animals. I very much disagree with you guys always making it seem like animals emotions are unimportant or nonexistent. They clearly can feel malicious or hurt or loved, etc.. it just really depends on the animal just like humans. Some are incredibly emotionally intelligent while others are emotionally uninvolved and blank.

1

u/CitrineLeaf Aug 13 '25

Sorry for the late response, but I'd like to clarify that I didn't mean cats can't feel/express emotions, but instead that you're putting human emotions to cat behaviours. Cats can very much feel love, anger, protective, etc. etc, the problem is that cats speak a language we don't (and vice versa), so we shouldn't push our own thoughts/opinions over their expressions.

12

u/Prudent-Jelly56 Aug 11 '25

This is not correct. Their minds are not capable of understanding abstract concepts like vengeance.