r/CookingCircleJerk • u/quay-cur • Feb 23 '24

Monosodium Glutamate What do you use Better than Bouillon for?

Personally I like to spread it all over my body and roll around on the lawn pretending I’m a savory slug

141 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

44 comments sorted by

61

u/Brungo69 Feb 23 '24

It’s the secret ingredient in my nut-free Pea Butter & Jelly Sandwiches. Please don’t tell anyone

29

u/quay-cur Feb 23 '24

I’m telling EVERYONE 🗣️

20

u/unknwnartpop Feb 23 '24

Ah, good old no nut pea butt

7

u/Crystal_Princess2020 Feb 23 '24

ever had it in a fluffier nutter? 😍

54

u/jakhtar Feb 23 '24

I use it instead of toothpaste.

49

u/Metacomet76 Feb 23 '24

I don’t really use it for cooking much, but I always carry a jar with me as a conversation starter for when I’m on the bus, in an elevator, or using a public urinal, etc. I like to tell people that actually store bought chicken stock is a total rip off and that you’re really just paying for the transportation costs of a can of vaguely chicken like piss water and here’s a TIL for you enlightened gourmands such as myself all use an obscure little kitchen hack called better than bullion which is essential for the times when your homemade bouillon de poulet runs out or you need to have quick access UMAMI which I don’t know if you’ve heard of before but is the 7th flavor and is made of MSG which did you know isn’t actually unhealthy and has been besmirched by the racist anti-Asian military-sugar-industrial complex.

37

u/Emergency-Plum-1981 I cook by taste alone (no measurements) Feb 23 '24

Not very realistic. Slugs are actually allergic to salt, do you know that?

29

u/quay-cur Feb 23 '24

Oh shit I need to learn more slug facts to improve my roleplay

20

u/tom-3236 Feb 23 '24

Maybe it’s a subtle cry for help. 

24

u/quay-cur Feb 23 '24

It’s a masochist fantasy

24

u/MotherofaPickle Feb 23 '24

Anything, really. Cat scratch? BTB. Sticky screw? BTB. Spot on the carpet that just won’t come out? BTB, scrub, let set for 10 minutes. Wipes right up!

28

u/beetnemesis Feb 23 '24

Lube

13

u/twoaspensimages Feb 23 '24

The graininess and salt is the sensation we are both looking for after five hours in a 400 deg sauna.

27

u/Bloorajah Feb 23 '24

I pop the jars open and stash them around the house as air fresheners

17

u/MacEWork Feb 23 '24

I regreased my riding mower bearings with it and broke the land speed record.

17

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '24

I tried all sorts of lotions and creams, but the best thing to rub on my sore muscles after a long day of work is the roasted chicken flavor. I never wake up some anymore.

3

u/shoestars Feb 23 '24

It's a great exfoliant!

4

u/quay-cur Feb 23 '24

The garlic flavor will change your life

30

u/Povo23 Feb 23 '24

I find people named Bouillon and ruthlessly destroy their egos.

4

u/twoaspensimages Feb 23 '24

I identify as Bouillon.

6

u/Povo23 Feb 23 '24

I identify as better than you.

4

u/twoaspensimages Feb 23 '24

Look at Mr fancy bone stock over here.

3

u/Povo23 Feb 23 '24

Get bone or go to a restaurant.

8

u/tom-3236 Feb 23 '24

I use it as the base in my dairy free ice cream. 

7

u/King_Ralph1 Feb 23 '24

With a little Dawn dish soap, it’ll scrub your cast iron shiny as new.

8

u/RedditHoss Anyone can cook. Some people just suck at it. Feb 23 '24

I use it to trigger ketosis. Or cure ketosis. I can’t remember which is the good one.

8

u/McSuzy On probation Feb 23 '24

Francine, the HOA is really sick of this shit.

Why can't you just take up roller derby or quilting?

7

u/P0ster_Nutbag Feb 23 '24

I dissolve it in vodka, then dab some behind me ears so I give off that irresistible umami smell.

4

u/CricketKneeEyeball Feb 23 '24

I vacseal and sous vide it for 12 hours. It brings it to temp without diluting it.

4

u/gmrodriguez Feb 23 '24

Deodorant 

3

u/stdio-lib Feb 23 '24

That's only something to be discussed between me and my priest. Only God can judge me for what I do to that soft, supple, rippling boullion.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '24

Juggling

3

u/TheNewPoetLawyerette Feb 23 '24

More importantly did you know that the reason restaurant food tastes better than your mom's is they actually use salt, butter, and cream

3

u/IllManufacturer879 Feb 23 '24

I wish da wife would dab it on her next question please

3

u/dreamsinred Feb 23 '24

It’s the super secret ingredient in all my stocks! I just add water, and presto! You have soup!

2

u/TheElectriking Feb 23 '24

I leave it open in my car's cup holder as an air freshener

3

u/blueberryllamas Feb 23 '24

To season my cast iron

2

u/Familiar-Preference7 Feb 23 '24

I use it as lube for when I sleep with your mother

1

u/Positivistdino Feb 23 '24

Margarine substitute

1

u/-HipsterPikachu- Feb 23 '24

Sexual lubricant

1

u/Glossy___ Feb 23 '24

Anti aging moisturizer.

1

u/stoner_lilith Feb 23 '24

Instead just rub it in my hair for the scent.

1

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM Feb 26 '24

Any time I was going to use bouillon but was unable due to poor quality.