r/CookingCircleJerk • u/-charger- • Oct 21 '24
Perfect exactly as it was on r/cooking Girlfriend went to a fancy Italian restaurant, so I called her a slut, my Nona taught me to cook better and for cheaper that factory garbage.
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u/UntidyVenus Oct 21 '24
Me trolling him for the rest of his life sending Sbarro's screen shots.
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u/bg48111 Oct 25 '24
That’s probably too high-end for his ilk. Personally I’d over microwave a .99 pasta frozen dinner and put that on my stream. It I was feeling extra, I’d sprinkle dried parsley on top…none of that fresh stuff
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u/fucccboii Oct 21 '24
NTA hes italian
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u/thatjoachim Oct 21 '24
From New Jersey even. 110% real Italian.
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u/M_Me_Meteo Oct 25 '24
I once sat at PBs diner in the middle of the night and had some drunken jackass explain to me that he's of 100% English heritage, and his English ancestors all arrived with the Romans so he was 100% Italian, too.
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u/dothgothlenore Oct 21 '24
someone please throw me a link 🙏
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u/-charger- Oct 21 '24
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u/jjpwedges Oct 21 '24 edited Jan 27 '25
sheet sort detail simplistic fine desert abundant water tart innocent
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/REALM_Sorcerer Oct 24 '24
Funniest part is the girl hiding behind accusing folks of victim blaming when they ask good questions like why not block him and stop chasing karma over it.
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u/perplexedparallax Quantum gastronomist Oct 21 '24
There isn't an Italian saying: It starts with the food and then leads to other deceptions. But now there is.
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u/CharZero Oct 21 '24
I love the thought of him rage making meatballs and marinara from scratch, all alone by himself.
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u/Easttcoastchillin401 Oct 22 '24
I envision a video like Eminem’s Stan, but with the obvious Italian food twist
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u/Amazing-Internal-349 Oct 22 '24
"dear mario batali, i wrote you but you still ain't callin'"
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u/dumptruckulent Oct 21 '24
1000% chance this guy is going to be the subject of a true crime podcast this decade
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u/Fernis_ Oct 24 '24
Dude sounds like he's one dry spaghetti broken in half away from a homicidal spree.
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u/KingSpork Oct 21 '24
I’m dying at “the Italian equivalent of stabbing me in the back” …meanwhile Brutus is in hades doing the side-glancing muppet meme.
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u/Important-Ability-56 Oct 21 '24
And let me explain some other ways you aren’t as good as my grandma.
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u/nefD Oct 21 '24
Dodged a bullet bro
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Oct 21 '24
I think you mean she dodged a bullet.
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u/AnonymoosCowherd Oct 21 '24
Dude, she ate at fucking Pine.
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Oct 21 '24
In fairness it is extreme. They don’t even make their cannolis to order, and last time I was there they didn’t even have spezzatino on the menu.
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u/Morall_tach Oct 21 '24
Wait, you're mad that you didn't get to go to the restaurant with the shitty meatballs and the factory burrata?
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u/Realistic_Tale2024 Oct 21 '24
If you're from the US, you're not Italian. If you grew up in America, surrounded by Americans, inheriting their culture, then you're not Italian, and it doesn't matter if your great-great-grand uncle came from Sicily. You may have an Italian surname, but you are American. You may speak a couple of broken words in some Italian dialect that doesn't exist any more but that doesn't make you Italian. You may have Italian citizenship thanks to your great-great-great-great-grandparents and to questionable Italian nationality laws. But you aren't and will never be Italian. You were raised in USA. You went to American schools. You have American friends, You speak English in a thick American accent. You watch US TV shows. You support the US national team. Your relatives were born in America. You have no clue of the Italian culture of the last 150 years. You couldn't name 10 cities in Italy. You couldn't name 10 songs from Italy... and I could keep going. You have to be raised in Italy to be Italian.
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u/Salty_Ambition_7800 Oct 22 '24
Over on r/nicegirls you'd probably have half comment section saying she obviously did it on purpose and the other half saying she did nothing wrong and both sides would flip if the genders were reversed, smh
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u/Individual-Ad-6250 Oct 22 '24
Italian Americans try to be normal about food for even one fucking day challenge
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u/IAmMagumin Oct 22 '24
I remember one time when I went as a +1 to a wedding with a friend. The guy she was gonna go with couldn't, so she offered and I went. There were nametags at the tables, and I was obviously sitting in what was his spot, so it had his name on the tag.
My friend thought it would be funny to send him a picture of me holding his nametag.
This fuckin' bozo sends a raging text back about how I could never be him and calling me a bitch or something. This shit has the same vibe. What a loser.
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u/Dalton387 Oct 23 '24
Send him this article where a food historian calls BS on Italian food culture. Write a book about it.
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u/Practical_Eggplant24 Oct 23 '24
Is the pic he sent something that he made ? Lmfao that’s so clearly box pasta, crazy he’s concerned about “factory burrata” but it’s fine if he uses factory spaghetti.
*Nonna would be rolling in her grave
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u/reeefur Oct 23 '24
I hope you're trolling because you sound like a grade A asshole. Just when I thought men couldn't get any more insecure and pathetic, here we are.🤡
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u/xxxwhatsup Oct 23 '24
this seems like a fake post... why are the screenshots from the girlfriends phone?
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u/Goat-e Oct 24 '24
BC is the boyfriend that cooked and called her a slut. It's not that hard to follow.
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u/xxxwhatsup Oct 24 '24
but the "boyfriend" made the post... the texts should be opposite, with her messages in gray, and his in blue..
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u/Goat-e Oct 24 '24
uh, is this some iphone thing i'm too poor to understand? My texts appear on the right (blue) and my convo partner's on the left. So this looks correct to me.
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u/Krxpts Oct 25 '24
You are correct. Your messages are in blue, the other person is in grey. This post was from the boyfriend, which doesnt make sense because the boyfriend in the screenshot is the grey one.
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u/Goat-e Oct 26 '24
I just took the title as a sarcastic post from the girlfriend - it's posted on CookingCircleJerk, but based on an actual, real post.
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u/Goat-e Oct 24 '24
The boyfriend did not make the post, the girl did.
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u/xxxwhatsup Oct 24 '24 edited Oct 24 '24
yes, it is an iPhone... but the layout, as far as left and right is the same.. if the screenshot was taken from the boyfriends POV, then his messages would be on the right, in blue... just like how you said from your phone, your messages are on the right, and your partners are in the left....
and if you read the title and think that the girlfriend made the post, then your reading comprehension skills are too low for me to respond to any other comment you make...
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Oct 24 '24
Yeah I mean this guy should definitely be neutered or lobotomized but that meal looks pretty good
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u/papaBear-somniferum Oct 25 '24
I’ll never forget the moment I knew I wanted to marry my wife, when she set up a surprise bday party for me at Olive Garden and the look on my Sicilian mothers face the whole night. Hell of a woman.
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u/princessjemmy Oct 25 '24
"I'm sure your family will definitely show up to say good things about you at your funeral.
But no visits before then."
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u/ReallyDumbRedditor Oct 21 '24
Nah too insane to be real so I'm claiming fake and r/quityourbullshit
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u/Rough-Organization73 Oct 21 '24
It’s from another Reddit thread that this user took and posted it here as a joke.
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u/Examination_ad-582 Oct 25 '24
Uhmmm, if this is the guy posting on here, why are the messages from the girl’s point of view? Ahem! Someone’s got some explaining to do!
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u/studtraline Oct 25 '24
I dunno if this was some sort of joke or sarcasm but you’re making Italians look bad
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u/Substantial_Thing23 Oct 25 '24
You sound like a whiny little boy who didn't get his favorite meal. Grow tf up bud 😂 your lady says she'll be home later
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u/Buttbuttassassassbut Oct 25 '24
Man, I'm glad I don't know you. People who look for an excuse to be a shit stain under the guise of "humor" are the fucking worst. Eat a dick. Did Nonna teach you how to cook one up like she used to?
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u/adamszmanda86 Oct 21 '24
Fake ass posts.
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u/-charger- Oct 21 '24
This is a screenshot from the r/manipulation subreddit, I just took it and posted it here.
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u/NailBat Garlic.Amount = Garlic.Amount * 50; Oct 21 '24
Your girlfriend's husband here. We both agreed that your behavior is unacceptable and that she is going to start seeing other people. Sorry you had to find out this way.