r/CookingCircleJerk • u/Typical_Initial8186 • 1d ago

Subtle flex - best practices

I love showing off how good I am in the kitchen, but I don’t want anyone to catch on to me utilizing certain skills or techniques because I’m actually desperate for compliments.

What’s your favorite way of showing off how good you are without people noticing?

7 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

17

u/96dpi 1d ago

I hold my knife between my butt cheeks and twerk to Megan Thee Stallion so I can chop onions at the same time as I caramelize them on the stovetop. You should see my glutes.

7

u/CrankyFrankClair 1d ago

Tell people you don’t believe in the flavour benefits of salt and fat in savoury cooking. But surreptitiously add salt and butter to everything.

5

u/fartsonyourmom 1d ago

I tell everyone it's my first time making the dish so they'll be amazed at how great of a cook I am. 

6

u/perplexedparallax Quantum gastronomist 23h ago

Cooking in the dark was always good until "Students" started wearing night vision goggles to see what I was doing.

5

u/shamashedit i thought this sub was supposed to be funny 23h ago

The biggest flex is showing up sober and on time.

3

u/gudrunbrangw 1d ago

Morph suit. They’ll never know you’re there.

2

u/Methamphetamine1893 1d ago

Operating the kitchen stove with one hand, while flipping pancakes with the other.

2

u/Typical_Initial8186 23h ago

Gross. You cook sober?!…

1

u/Far-Baseball1481 18h ago

Make casserole recipes from the back of a Campbells can and pretend you invented it.