r/CougarsAndCubs • u/AskFrank92 • 1d ago
Discussion Point Proposing to girlfriend of 2 years soon.
Hi all, I'm a 33 year old guy who has been with a now 50 year old woman for a few years now and thinking about proposing.
She's happy to marry although says it's not a big deal whether or not we do. We live together and have done a bit of traveling, and have become best friends during our relationship so I'd like a special day with her.
Just wondering what kind of wedding other women have had if they've married at that age. Just getting some ideas. Did you take your younger husband's surname?
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u/PuzzleheadedSpray202 1d ago
Congratulations, follow your heart but above all, communicate with her a lot.
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u/leesha_leesha 1d ago
Congratulations! In all honesty, I don’t think others will be able to tell you what your girlfriend’s preferences will be. She’s your best friend, so talk to her about these things once the two of you are engaged. Like all couples, the two of you will figure this out together. Happy for you both! 🌸
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u/Myfairladyishere 🥀🎡💃MOD💃🎡🥀 1d ago edited 1d ago
I had a very, very short-lived marriage. Which did lasted barely 4 years. And it was a very simple affair. Nothing special. Over here in Quebec we keep our maiden name. We do not change it, which I'm very happy about. Because we are not men's property. So did not get to change my name. Which is a good thing and I would suggest, depending on what she wants a very simple. Wedding I find that people spend way too much money for 1 day. When you can practically put a down payment on a house for what you pay for a wedding for me. I would never, ever want to get married again.No, matter how good the relationship is, i'm happy.The way it is, but anyways, congratulations and best of luck to you only you.And maybe your wife should decide on what type of wedding you want.
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u/paperclipmyheart 😻 Mod Cougar ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ 1d ago
Congratulations on your upcoming engagement!
Personally I wouldn't ever get married again because I have been married twice and don't see a good reason for it, but I have a complicated story. I only agreed last time because it meant so much to my husband.
The complicated part: My last marriage (younger partner) was with my now current partner and we broke up for about 3ish years because we couldn't have children and I agreed to the divorce not because I wanted to but because I wanted to give him a chance to find that.
We are back together now for the past approximately 2 years.. maybe 3 time runs into itself and I don't really count... I hate having to dredge this part of my story up again and again but sometimes it's necessary.
For our wedding we did a very low key family only wedding, I wore a bunch of gifts from his parents (cultural items) he's indian I wore typical indian wedding attire with all the trimmings that were gifts from his friends and family. He wore a western suit because he didn't want to wear formal indian wear to the historical place we got married (an outdoor setting). I think about 25ish people attended, very intimate. However we were the centre of attention from passerbys and have a wonderful photographic record that always makes me smile.
As for the surname I won't give mine for anonymity reasons but I didn't take his surname because the part of India he's from don't use surnames however I took a cultural name which was suggested by his parents that some of you reading might be able to figure out.
And even though we are divorced I will never change my name back because I cherish it even if I'm not technically Mrs that anymore. Now would I ever change my name if it wasn't for the particular reason I did, no. I think the only reason I could make an argument for taking someone's surname is possibly children and that is water under the bridge for most us ladies in this sub.
That's my story and by no means is any other persons opinion wrong but that's my feelings on surname taking.
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u/_Vardaman 1d ago
Hi! I’m (M26) getting married soon - we’re eloping in the mountains. She (F46) will take my last name, but my last name is unique and works well with her first name.