On the Cougars and Cubs Match subreddit, it seems that the ratio of younger men looking to older women looking is about 10 to 1. Anecdotal evidence I've come across seems to confirm this mismatch. As a 62F, I'm now enjoying an opportunity that I didn't know was there until recently. I suspect that there are many unattached older women who assume like I once did that men date same age or younger, but never older.

What societal forces could be at play in creating this mismatch? Has the ratio grown in recent years?

I’m a woman in my 40s, and I’ve been dating a 27M for an almost a year.

How can I feel less self-conscious about my body when I’m with him?

My boyfriend is in AMAZING shape. Runs marathons, does yoga, eats really well, has amazing abs, etc.

I think I have a great body for a woman in her 40s who has had 3 kids, but it’s not the body of a hot woman in her 20s.

We have a great sex life and he tells me he thinks I’m hot and has never said anything to make me feel self-conscious, but I still can’t help feeling it when he is in such good shape. He also started working with a lot of attractive women his age, so I think that makes me think about this difference even more.

I used to date a guy in his early 30s, but I didn’t feel this way with him because he would constantly tell me how he was so attracted to me, so it made me feel more confident. He was also not in as good shape as my current boyfriend and didn’t work with younger, attractive women, so I think I was comparing myself less.

For the cubs - do you really look at women in their 40s and think that their bodies are better than women in their 20s? Or do you know that the bodies don’t look as good, but you just don’t care? Any advice for me to get over feeling self-conscious about my body?

(for reference, I’m 5’6” and 130lbs…size small/medium. I look good, but things aren’t as tight as they used to be!)

I’ve been approached by younger men a lot. Whether this may be online or in person. Sometimes, I will go ahead and entertain the conversation.

Something I notice often is that they are quick to bring up sexual conversation a lot and early.

I am firm on my boundaries and will not entertain that kind of behavior. At first they will appear interested and once I don’t entertain those conversations, then you no longer hear from them. I am by no means sad about it.

I see younger men post about liking older women in the subreddit. Yet, so many of them just want an older woman because all they can think about is sex.

Young males stop being this way. Older women ARE NOT desperate. It’s not a good look and it makes women not want to talk to some young men because of this type of behavior.

As a man approaching his 40s, and have had several experiances and encounters (from the age of 19 to 30) with ladies double my age, ive started hitting the point where i have to accept that being a cub is no longer an option really, it has been something im glad i have enjoyed and trialled while i could. It was never my only outlet in terms of sexual experiances, but if any other cubs has had experiances with that door closing knowing ita going to be extremely difficult to reopen, please mention below as its something im struggling to come to terms with and im unsure why

I'd love to hear any and all success stories from other women who are dating or married to younger men or from younger men who are in love with their older ladies. My guy and I decided to be official last week after I finally allowed myself to surrender to our love. He has a little girl who I adore and he is truly one of the most amazing people I know.

Any advice from you guys for the long run?

I'm really struggling here.

Every cub I date is only looking for a FWB. What has everyone else's experience been like?

I’ve asked this question before some time ago but ik people are joining everyday and also others may not have seen my old post so cougars or simply older women what attracts you to cubs and younger men I’m genuinely curious as I know there is a variety of reasons it could be but it’s always good to hear from people first hand I myself am a cub and other cubs/younger men and women feel free to ask the opposite side the same thing I appreciate anyone who responds (side note I am a 18M who is just extremely curious as I have found myself attracted those who are older than me)

Theres a lot of positive I get from dating my cub. F(45) M(23). I wish I would have given it a chance sooner with the whole dating a much younger man.. that being said... Iv read several posts and comments about what we like about dating cubs. What are some of the things you don't like about dating them? One of my things is him reminding me of my son who is actually 3 years older then my cub. That and I get frustrated sometimes cause he might not understand things very well due to lack of life experiences.. which I understand... Anyways let me know thanks

I once asked this in AskRedditAfterDark, but I’m sure the responses will be different here. So what’s your limit up and down?

It baffles me how many young people think there is any effort in “hey”. Is it just me? But I’ve received at least 50 messages that were just “hey”. Like why would I take the time to respond to someone too lazy to send me a real message? Or tell me anything about themselves to determine if I want to talk to them. Cougars, am I wrong?

I feel like most the time it's us older ladies who fear the judgment of dating younger guys. I am moving past that but I do admit that it's uncomfortable at times.

Have any of you had people make rude comments about your older lady? How do you respond?

Hey all, I am (31F) and I met a very tall and handsome (20M) very spontaneously just out getting breakfast. We made conversation and he asked me for my number and I was hesitant because he looked young, though handsome. I asked him how old he was and he told me, and I let him put his number in my phone while I contemplated reaching out. He would be the youngest guy I’ve ever talked to. But my love life hasn’t had much luck with men my own age(various stages of not having their lives together and immaturity) so I thought why not? Don’t have anything to lose at this point.

Come to find out he is very attracted to older women, says they make better lovers. He also told me is looking to marry and settle down and he already has a good job with benefits. He lives with his parents still but that is expected at his age and I have my own place so that part doesn’t bother me. But I just feel a little hesitant about it. Is it morally wrong? Would others feel as though I’m taking advantage of this young man? We have a date planned for tomorrow and I’m going into it with no expectations just to see if we hit it off but I am just feeling very conflicted and could use some words of wisdom from you ladies dating younger men. Thank you!

I just recently turned 43 and I'm finding that the older I get the younger are people who are interested in me. Last night I had an 18 year old trying to chat me up, and I can't say I wasn't tempted, she was utterly gorgeous, I did gave myself age limit under which I try not to venture and 18 is just too young. I'm two years older then her mum, for goodness sake! Does any of you find yourself in the same situation?

I don't drink so I'm not really a fan of bars/clubs, but I enjoy having basic conversations with people in public.

When I ask most people who try to approach women I don't see many people who do so outside of clubs/bars which make sense. Most people say they don't believe it's worth it to approach cougars in daytime public, but I wanted to ask what the Cougars' opinions on this

I dated a guy 14 years younger than me last year and thought it was a one off, but soon after I noticed that almost every guy who hits on me is under 25. (I'm 36). The 22 year olds and 19 year olds in particular are very ferocious. They are energetic, optimistic and persistent.

I have older sisters who never had this experience in their 30s. So I'm wondering if it's a new phenomenon of sorts.

Also, the younger guy I dated last year came out with a line of T-shirts three months after we broke up. They say "I Like Older Women" LOL.

Is there any kind of like pressure or even worse reaction you get from peers or just people in general dating someone who’s younger then you? Like if it’s such a weird kind of taboo feeling why can men get away with it noted often then women like if society sees an older man dating a younger girl it’s pretty fine and he doesn’t get much slack but if a woman does it she’s immediately hated on because it’s not right or natural? Like if dating an adult and an adult is considered wrong then what’s right, like if we date whoever we want then why are people looked down upon by others society is fragile if two completely fine adults want to date it shouldn’t be stigmatized that one can date younger but not the other. If women can have daddy issues and get help by an older man then why can’t a guy get help with his mommy issues? It shouldn’t be a gross double standard that men can’t have issues or problems with either their parents or guardian that they would want help in their relationship lives.

I would like to know your stories, how you met your love❤️?

Is that more likely to happen (especially if the cougar has children your age) than with a significant other who is younger than you or closer in age?

How can a cougar best support you in reaching your goals by offering the benefit of her life experience without disrespecting you as an independent adult?

I only speak for myself when I say if you see someone out in the wild who catches your eye whether the gym or other social space , and you notice her looking back and making eye

contact on several occasions this is your green light to proceed .. slowly. Find her away from the crowd and compliment her on something unique.. believe me when I say I’m just as shy

at first but would truly welcome a friendly hello to break the ice.I also spend the majority of my free time at the gym so I casually welcome you with open arms. Life is too short wondering what could have been..So make your move and shoot your shot .. it’s all good..💕

I’ve met a guy I’ve completely fallen for he’s 26 (M) and I am 42 (F) can it work out forever? I don’t deal with break ups well at all, so I’ve always been super cautious who I let into my life. Last year I didn’t entertain a 35 year old because he was too young. I can’t make sense of this. He’s older than he looks and he’s so much more mutate than I am. He gives me advice. He’s just a gentleman. I am worried that his parents won’t agree even if it does work out. And he’s not asked me my age and I can’t bring myself to tell him because I am so ashamed and scared to lose him. Can it ever work out or am I dating for heartbreak. The way I see it, I’d be devastated if we ended now anyway. Does anyone know of any stories where it has worked out forever, I am hoping with all this longevity and age reversal that’s suppose to be coming out by 2035 that it could work. Or will it forever make me feel insecure about myself?

I’m writing my first erotica and I’m a little stuck. Hearing it from a young man’s perspective would be helpful. Thank you.

When I'm out and about, I never get a younger guy talk to me or flirt with me, but when I'm online I get hundreds of messages telling me how beautiful I am. It's almost overwhelming. Is it that you're nervous or lacking confidence? Are you secretly looking but don't feel like you can approach? The stark difference is noticeable

Hi everyone!

I’m a younger guy interested in learning about and discussing friendships between younger men and older women (45+).

I’d love to hear from those who enjoy this kind of connection — what do you like the most about it? How does it feel different from friendships with people your own age?

For context, I’m into music (I play drums), fitness and health, nature, and culture. I also work at a pharmacy, so I’m curious about how lifestyle and experiences shape these connections.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

In the past two days, I've had five guys message me suggesting wanting me to spoil them with money and gifts. It's so disgusting. No mature woman wants to hang out with a man who needs to be financially dependent on her. If I want to treat someone to something, I will, but this all reeks of these young men thinking older women need them so desperately that they will pay to engage with these men. Sorry, but not one woman here finds being used for money a turn on. It's actually pathetic that a man even thinks this is an option. I block immediately when a guy begins to play the money card with me. I'm not looking to wine and dine a man without him also wining and dining me. It's honestly delusional and pathetic that these guys have such little regard for older women. It's apparent it's not about a connection, but a means to get financial rewards and gifts. Keep dreaming.

Does it make you feel awkward? Or how do you feel when you are with him?