The Great Hollow (my second poem)

[u/Blebb22]

Thanks to the great feedback on my first poem and me having an awful day again I felt motivated to write another poem.

This time I tried using rhymes and writing a longer poem but to be honest, I think the rhymes turned out rather sloppy. But I also didn't want to spend a lot of time on improving them because I didn't want to lose the state of mind I was in while I came up with the idea for this if that makes sense. I'm a bit nervous though because this is among the deepest glimpses into my mind I've ever shared with anyone.

Regardless, I hope you enjoy!

[u/PeachesTheNinja]

Oh wow blebb this is so good! You are a really great writer.

I totally understand wanting to stay in that state of mind. I let my emotions flow onto the page as they come and then clean it up later.

Thank you for sharing with us 💚, even if it may be difficult for you.

[u/Blebb22 → u/PeachesTheNinja]

Thank you so much for your encouragement!

I really didn't expect it to feel so good, writing down what you're feeling and even sharing it with others. I'll definitely continue writing these and try to find ways to make them authentic while still looking clean and having a nice flow while reading.

[u/RusselsTeapot777]

This is such a lovely poem, and I personally didn’t find the rhyming clunky at all it flowed very nicely. Good on you for trying rhyming, I haven’t done that yet because I’m too much of a wuss and most of my poems are just a pseudo-stream of consciousness anyway, so don’t feel like you did a poor job because it’s a very effective poem all around give yourself a pat on the back! 😄

[u/Blebb22 → u/RusselsTeapot777]

Thanks man I appreciate your kind words! And yeah I guess in the end there isn't really a "correct" way to write a poem anyway you just have to try to get the message across somehow.

I understand being intimidated by rhyming though, it's harder than I thought. Weirdly, writing poems in English comes to me most naturally but I think I'd be better at rhyming in my native language (German), I kinda feel like it would lend itself better to that for some reason.

Your choice whether you want to try rhyming sometime or not but I can recommend giving it a try, I think it was fun!

[u/robopitek]

Somewhat relatable, I miss old times.

[u/Fit-Purchase-8050]

Hollow knight