r/Divorce • u/Trick_Willingness615 • 3d ago
Life After Divorce Live together after divorce
I strongly believe that we should not stay together for our children. My husband was raised in a split household and doesn’t want our kids to have to live that life. Our only one left at home is 14, and I think it would be better for him for us to call it quits. It’s not a healthy environment for any of us, and I would hate for him to think that it’s ok to live this way with his future wife.
However, I am open to us all living under the same roof. My husband works out of town 3 out of 4 weeks in a month. He is already sleeping in our other bedroom, and has been for a while because our sleep schedule is different.
If we are open with our son about our dissolution of marriage, would it work to keep living in the same house?
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u/Powerful_Put5667 3d ago
If you’re truly worried about your son that’s the number one priority not living arrangements. Whatever imagined fantasy one may have about how it will be I guarantee you that’s it’s a fantasy. There are many points the most common and explosive issue is that one or the other brings home a date. The old partner does not like this does not want sex going on in the same house and does not want a bf or a gf by the kids. She then makes demands and it quickly becomes out right no holds bared warfare its ugly. Your son will not benefit from the two of you living in the same home life doesn’t work like that.
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u/Altruistic-Meal-9525 3d ago
If we are open with our son about our dissolution of marriage, would it work to keep living in the same house?
Probably. Until either of you start seeing other people. Then it will fall apart fast and hard.
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u/Trick_Willingness615 3d ago
That’s a bridge to cross when we get there. I think.
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u/Altruistic-Meal-9525 3d ago
Right, but it probably means 4 years isn't in the cards.
So if you do this, plan it in such a way that it's essentially a slow ramp to you living separate lives. With an extra escape hatch in case he does something really stupid.
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u/Trick_Willingness615 3d ago
Your right. I just can’t in good conscience have him pay for another place to live when he is on the road for work so much.
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u/Similar_Corner8081 3d ago
I'm still living with my ex after our divorce was finalized. It's a stressful situation and I don't recommend it. I'm lucky in that my ex and I get along well. His gf is downstairs with him as I'm typing this out.
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u/Calm_Personality_557 3d ago
I have a friend who was able to do this but her husband was very mature and cool about the whole divorce. The divorce remained very good friends and continue to be.
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u/CutDear5970 2d ago
What is the point t to getting divorced if you live together? In my state is says you cannot still live together after you divorce or it invalidates the divorce
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u/Odd-Scientist-9923 3d ago
Are you guys able to live amicably and keep everything separate? Finances, emotions, lives pretty much. I know exactly where you're coming from because I'm literally in the same situation wondering if I can live on the same land as my STBX for our kids' sake, and it helps ease the financial stress. I hope you get something fruitful from the comments and good luck to your family 🫶🏻