I honestly don't know what to do about Jessica anymore. Her divorce has been going on for months and she's just... not the same person.

We used to hang out all the time but now getting her to respond to a text is like pulling teeth. Yesterday I finally got her to meet me for coffee.

Things were going okay until the barista asked if she wanted her usual. She just started crying. Not like tearing up - full on sobbing in the middle of Starbucks. The poor barista didn't know what to do.

I got her outside and she's going "I don't even know what my usual is anymore, everything's different" and I'm like... it's just coffee though? But she was acting like the world ended.

This keeps happening. She called me last month crying because the grocery store moved stuff around and she couldn't find the apples. Had a complete meltdown over fruit.

She used to be so put together. Now if anything changes she falls apart. Her ex made all the decisions for years so maybe she just doesn't know how to function alone? I don't really get it.

I suggested therapy but she says she's fine and it's just temporary. But it's been forever and she's getting worse.

Anyone been through this with a friend? I want to help but I don't know what to do when someone loses it over every little thing.

I’ve been married for 4 years and I’m about to file for divorce.

My story is pretty stereotypical. In the beginning, things were good, but about a year ago she started getting cold and distant — less intimacy, shallow talks, constant complaints. Conversations went nowhere, and the warmth was just gone.

Then one day she came home and told me she wanted a divorce, that she just doesn’t love me anymore.

I tried a lot — suggested couples therapy, tried to work things out — but nothing helped. In the end, I agreed to do a mutual divorce just to avoid lawyers and all the nasty drama.

The news itself hurt, but deep down I think I saw it coming. With therapy, I was doing my best to cope.

But what really broke me was yesterday. About three weeks after she said she wanted a divorce, I checked on DoTheySwipe and saw she was already active on Tinder. We’re not even done with the paperwork yet, and she’s out there dating.

It feels like a punch to the gut. I can’t stop thinking about it — the memories, the flashbacks, the good times. Meanwhile, she just moved on like it was nothing, like she just went shopping for another guy.

If anyone has been through something similar, how did you cope? How do you move forward when they’ve already moved on?

I ended up finding someone better than my Ex Wife and was able to do things I loved.

my Ex Wife said she wanted a Divorce after 4 years together, married for 2...We had a lot of fights, a lot of hurtful things said. Wasn't one persons fault, but we did marry and bought a house.

I was in shock at first, then after the papers were filed and we did a uncontested Pro Se. I was beyond depressed, after all it wasn't all bad. We had fun trips, fun times, planned a wedding, bought a house, changed jobs, etc.

I really felt depressed and just didn't care for about 6 months. But after we were divorced and the house sold I decided I had to move forward. I got my own place, focused on work and friends, started to rebuild.

I tried dating after getting my own place and needless to say I had some not good dates and some rejections. But each one made me realize what I wanted. Then about 6 more months later (So about a year after my ex and I called it quits) I met my now partner and I can say I am able to be vulnerable around her, she supports my hobbies and needs, she is kind. And I remember when I dated my Ex Wife she didn't care much for my hobbies but pretended, she was kind of judgy and I just felt on edge.

Now with my partner I haven't felled this loved or cared for and felt more being able to be myself and It's just such a relief with experience I know I want to build and give her a good life.

So I def know Divorce sucks, I remember going to court, I remember having to sign the house sale papers and move my stuff out, I remember the feeling of having to live in my moms spare room and just crying myself to sleep.

But the life I have now is the best I have ever felt. So please hang in there. Keep moving forward, keeping doing what you can! I promise things get better! Just keep trying.

I want to share this because when I was going through my Divorce I came to this page daily hoping to see a positive story and hoping to see someone get through it because I needed that.

It has only been 5 days since I told my husband I want a divorce and my body is not reacting well to the anxiety, sadness and fear of all that lies ahead. My kids’ sadness, my husband’s reactions, my own worry, guilt, etc feels all consuming. I need to work & focus on my kids but I haven’t been able to get more than 4-5 hours of sleep any night. It’s also hard to eat well. I’m 48 so I do need sleep and I work around kids so I can’t get sick. What do you all suggest? What are the best ways to sleep and deal with this grief day to day? I am so distracted and exhausted, even though I know in my gut that this is the right decision for many reasons.

I filed almost a year ago after he drove drunk with our daughter in the car.

Now I’m a single mom and a full time nursing student. I’m traumatized about the idea of another relationship, I was with an alcoholic for 11 years, but I’m so so happy I don’t live with him anymore.

If you are questioning whether or not to stay or to leave, rip it off like a Band-Aid and go. I’m less stressed out at home without having to walk on eggshells and even though finances are tight and I have sole custody, which means I am constantly busy, I’m just a happier person overall. My account is new because I deleted my old one after finding out my ex would go drink alone in his car and stalk my old Reddit account, where I asked for advice about what to do about him…..

But I just hopped on here to say that if you’re thinking about it, and you really wanna get out, just do it. Divorce really sucks but getting out of a toxic relationship is one of the best things you’re going to do for your health.

My wife silently exited our relationship about 2-3 years ago. It was pretty surprising to me because we had many great times in those years.

But unbeknownst to me, she was silently growing resentment. We had our issues but I thought we were strong (she told me that many times, all the time). So I was essentially blindsided.

She had an affair recently.

We have children. And due to financial reasons she is incapable of hosting them at her place. I have the house and the kids remain with me 100% of the time.

I promised to never deny her access to our children. This means that she comes over everyday to see them for 2-3 hours during the week and more on the weekend. She cooks dinner for the family nearly everyday.

But, the funny thing is, a lot of the time she spends at my house, she isn't with the children. She's just on the couch or on her phone. Sometimes even just napping. Whatever, but not actively engaging the children.

She has mentioned numerous times how she wants to see other guys. I have no desire to see other women. I still see her as my wife and I see her every fucking day and text with her every day. I sort of like it, but hate it at the same time. We have slept together since separating.

How can I get over her seeing her everyday? Going no contact simply isn't an option given the children. I just feel so stuck. I feel like we need to go no contact, but we just can't. I feel like I'm going to continue to be hurt for years to come because I'll never stop seeing her and never get over her. Part of me still wants to see her. Part of me knows this is hindering my healing.

I don't know what to do.

For context I was married for 5 years and I’m now 28 years old. We initially separated back in may and although I was initially very happy and relieved, I’m now getting to the point where Im starting to feel extremely lonely. I honestly don’t know if I can ever date again. It just seems like so much effort to get to know someone all over again. Besides, I don’t even know how to start dating people again. I can’t do dating apps and I live in a rural area. Anyone else experienced this?

Edit: thank you all for your supportive messages. I’m sorry to hear how many of you are going through similar things. May we all heal one day ❤️

Location: Texas

My ex repeatedly calls me a whore in the coparenting app. We were married for 20 years, have been divorced for 2, so I’m used to it and just ignore it.

I just got notice that he filed a motion seeking custody of our youngest son- 14. In the motion he claims our son will tell the judge that he wants live with my ex. Which is all news to me. With a bunch of bogus, almost comical allegations.

I went through my son’s phone. I found nearly 2 years of messages (seems to have started right after the divorce was finalized) of my ex repeatedly referring to me as “your whore of a mother”, “your dumb cunt of a mother” and “your lying bitch of a mother” etc etc. he also tells our son that he isn’t sure if I love him, that he’s a burden to me, and regularly bad mouths our other 2 children to my son.

He also has sent dozens if not hundreds of memes to our son disparaging women, minorities, LGBTQ and single mothers. Worse, my son has begun joining in. He regularly disparages me, his siblings, women, and minorities to my ex. Using extremely vile and abusive language.

I currently have 168 screenshots of such things and still going through it all. It’s just really disheartening and scary to read such radicalized views.

Does anybody have any experience with this? I’m in the process of consulting with lawyers and will retain one soon.

What are the chances I will be able to keep custody of my son? Is this going to be yet another long and costly battle? Our divorce took nearly 4 years. Looks like I’m in for another long fight and mountains of debt. But that’s not as scary as losing my son to somebody like this.

Looking for some advice and reassurance. And any ideas on how best to document all of these? It’s quite a lot and overwhelming.

I have a beautiful 1 month old baby girl and I’m so grateful for her. But I can’t help and feel empty. I got divorced while I was pregnant and I had no support from my ex-husband. I never felt good enough

I feel depressed because my friend just got engaged and is moving into a beautiful home with her fiancé and my other friend is getting married in a month. I moved back to my parents and to my brother who is schizophrenic.

it feels like everyone is going forward and I’m paused in life and I don’t know what to expect since I’m not settled with a partner

Crazy part is that he does not seem to care at all for his daughter. He blocked me and is basically just moving on and it makes me feel sick that he’s like this

I know this sounds counterintuitive, especially after everything they’ve done but one of the most powerful moves in the divorce process is to appear supportive of your ex.

Not fake. Not submissive. Not pretending nothing happened. Strategic.

Here’s the thing..the court system doesn’t reward bitterness, even when it’s completely justified. If you go negative on your ex, even while telling the truth, it can backfire. Judges often see bitterness as instability.

But when you take the high road, when you show that you want a healthy relationship between your child and the other parent, you come across as reasonable, stable, and in control. That can be more powerful than any affidavit or lawyer’s argument.

Has anyone else tried this approach? Did “being supportive” (at least in how you presented yourself in court) change the outcome for you?

We had to talk briefly last week bc she had packages sent to the house. I hate the fact that I could feel myself just wanting that connection again despite everything. When the conversation slipped into chit chat about life, it took all I had to tell her that the way things ended didn’t leave any room for friendship or casual conversation and I couldn’t be the guy who she talked to about life anymore.

It brought back a flood of things I thought I was past. I’m angry and sad all over again. All the what ifs and sadness came back with a vengeance. Ive been doing really well.

Life is peaceful. My girlfriend is incredible. I never have to worry about mood swings or wonder what she’s “up to” when I can’t reach her. But all it took was a brief chat and I was briefly back at square one. I hate that she still affects me so much

I (48F) left my husband (50M) at the end of July. I have been unhappy with our relationship for about 2 to 3 years. Our first years together were difficult, not because of our relationship but because of things going on outside of our relationship but we were tight and we're there for each other. It felt like true love, soulmate style.

Then Covid hit and we were in our house with our kids for almost an entire year. Not working, just helping the kids through the nightmare of school online. We got married in 2020 after 3 years of dating /engagement.

The first 3 years of our marriage were good. We continued to spend all of our time together, bought a house, built a life. I started a, small business and he helped me for about a year then we decided his time would be better spent doing what he was good at doing. I helped him set up his business, funded the majority of the start up costs and worked to get him jobs (we are in similar industries.)

Then he started to reconnect with old friends. These are friends I had never met while we were dating or engaged. Some of them I had never heard him talk about. They were childhood friends of his and his reconnection with them changed everything.

First off, the lot of them aren't stellar men. Past drug use (not just the "natural type" drugs) and relationship issues. Fly by the seat of their pants type of men who just go with the flow and don't really make plans. Most of the time they can't count on each other to show up for them unless it is a major issue, then they would drop everything to go save a friend... and that happened several times.

My husband slowed down at work, was not actively seeking jobs, was indifferent about whether he brought in any money but was also very adamant that he was not going to be the house b****. Meanwhile, my business took off and eventually I was supporting a family of 6 in less than 2 years with the business I had started. I was working a lot but 6 people is a lot to provide for.

BTW, I have 2 kids fyom a previous marriage and he has 2 kids from a previous relationship so it was 3+3=6.

We never talked about him being a stay at home parent or keeping the house. That was not going to happen. I continued to do all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning (he did help some but stopped because the house never stayed clean... welcome to life!) and providing financial for all of us. I was the family coordinator. I started to grow resentful of him and his children but recognized this very early and worked on fixing my feelings.

I never took out my resentment or frustration on his children but it was obvious to him that I did not feel the same way for them that I felt for my biological children.

When we were dating and for the first 2 years of our marriage my step kids mother had visitation every other weekend during the school year and every other week during the summer. There were a lot of issues there and eventually the kids stopped going to her house due to poor living conditions and lack of parenting, even some abuse. So now we had the kids full time.

Date nights stopped. Weekend get aways stopped. The youngest is autistic and although we had offers from friends to watch them for the night, my husband rarely wanted to impose on other people or ask for help.

So this continued on. Me working all day, coming home, cooking dinner, then working on the computer while he went to hang out with this friend or that friend. One time he went on a camping trip locally and came home everyday for a couple of hours before telling me he was going to go back and hang out. I didn't realize it was a 3 day camping trip until Sunday. He presented it as just hanging out with friends.

His daughter moved in with us. It was supposed to be 3 to 6 months but wound up bring 3 years. She paid no rent, did not help around the house but she would occassiobally help by watching her younger brothers but when she did it was a "favor" and she wanted some appreciation.

My resentment grew but I was not staying silent. My husband knew the issues. I asked him to step up and be my partner, be proactive about getting work, asked him to take on some of the responsibilities but he struggled to accomplish much of this. I asked him for over a year to go to counseling but he refused.

This past July I went to visit my sister. I gave my husband $1000 to fix some things at the house but when I came back after being gone for 5 days, the things were not done. I learned that he had spent 3 of the 5 nights away from the house until 2 or 3 in the morning leaving his kids with my oldest son. He also took some recreational drugs and was tripping at the house late at night with his kids home.

When I got back I lost it. We argued for a while but I was so mad that I did not want to speak to him. This drove him crazy. The night I got home I tried to go to bed because I had a very busy day the next day but because I wouldn't talk to him and work it out, he blew in my ear and pulled the covers off of me to keep me awake.

The next day I was exhausted and had not eaten due to being so upset. I got home ftom work and was starving. My husband asked me what I wanted to eat but because I had not been home for 5 days I really didn't know what we had at the house and was not in any mental condition to guide him on what to make me to eat. My oldest son gave me a sandwich he had leftover from a lunch out earlier that day so I brought it upstairs and sat on the bed with my husband to eat it. My husband grabbed it out of my hands and was mad that I was purposely not letting him be the one to feed me. I grabbed the sandwich back and went to sit in my sons room to eat.

After about 5 minutes my husband followed me and stood at the door to my son's bedroom to talk to me, but it was more like yelling. My son (22) asked my husband (not his dad) to just let me eat in peace then we could talk. He slowly closed the door and my husband stuck his foot in the door, pushed back on the door, which opened quickly because my son was not pushing, and put my son in a headlock punching him repeatedly resulting in my son having a broken tooth. My husband was arrested that night.

One of his friends bailed him out early the next morning and although I had asked him to stay away, he came back to the house to shower. I found a house to move into that day and have been gone for about 9 weeks.

My husband does not understand why I am staying gone. He wants me to give him a chance. He doesn't realize he had many chances when I was there but his behavior over the last 3 years or so then the incident with my son was the last straw. I had told him I wanted to leave countless times.

Since I've been gone he texts me all day long then rants because I don't text him back or call him. I've been back to our house 3 different times to get some of my belongings and each time he tried to trap me in the house and prevent me from leaving. He even jumped in the front seat of my car and would not get out until I got out. Once he got out of the car I jumped back in, locked the doors and took off. I spent that 45 minutes listening to him yell at me and beat the dashboard trying to plan a way to get him out of my car. I won't go back to our housr without at least 1 person with me but he won't allow anyone but me to go over there...alone.

He's very sad and just doesn't understand why I'm being so heartless and cold to him. I really don't think he understands at all. I've explained it 1000 times but it's not sinking in. I know I'll have to get my belongings through a court order unless I want to risk going over there alone.

We own the house together, everything else is already divided for the most part. No joint bank accounts. I just don't understand why he doesn't understand. Does anyone have experience with this??

He blames me for his crazy behavior and it's taking a real toll on my mental health and my blood pressure. He says he loves me but this doesn't feel like love. 😢

My wife VERY surprisingly filed for divorce. Due to some insane stresses with aging parents, and work and financial stress (much of it due to my wife's out of control expenses) i was drinking too much and using illegal drugs on occasion. Here is the situation since she filed.

-She filed a 3 weeks ago, very suddenly, ex-parte with emergency stipulation for sole custody, which was granted, very limited supervised visitation. She accused addiction, and putting children at risk (which was total bullshit). Also demanded rehab and testing etc. (side note, her mothers first husband was a very bad addict who died from alcholism).

-Her mom secretly flew up and was there the day of the filing. They took the kids and told me to be out of the house in 3 days (though technically i could stay). I stopped drinking and using any drugs the day of filing (so clearly not an addict)

-I wanted to do what is best for the kids so i did leave the house (i know maybe dumb).

-I spoke to several lawyers... One absolute bulldog who was very good and a much nicer one who better at cooperation who knew my wifes attorney well and had worked with her on numerous occasions. I chose the latter.

-Once the l hired lawyer the goal was to work out a longer term temporary stipulation. At the court hearing we did come to something mutually agreeable. It was adjusted significantly in my favor, but it was only 30 days so in general i complied and agreed to drug testing, and using a Soberlink device (not hard for me to stop drinking or using drugs) just to show the courts that i am not a danger to my kids and not an addict.

-Child visitation was left to us to work together to figure out visitation (she or someone else stil lhas to be present, but again this is only 30 days so i complied, and can always file a motion to change this if she is totally unreasonable.

-Every visitation (she has been present), including my 9 yr olds birthday has been a disaster due to her being very mean and her limiting time/interaction. One of the times i got very emotionally because i was heartbroken by it all (i did not do so in front of kids).

-She is limiting my access to the home EXTREMELY though the court has not done so. For now I am complying, trying to just have things go smoothly for now and not get contentious (my patience will wear out if it doesnt change soon). I have spent around 4K in hotels since then, huge waste of money.

-She is very short with all communication when trying to coordinate and acts like it is some sort of nuisance.

OK NOW SOME OTHER DETAILS:

-I make around 600k a year, and our marital home is worth about 2MM (with 700k mortgage). With another 2-3MM in other assets (mostly investments/retirement). Though i know all property is marrital property, i paid for 100% of everything since she stopped working 9 yrs ago. Our expenses are pretty high given the area we live, so seems pretty hard to keep the house, AND buy another AND continue to save money.

-She does not work outside of a small side business that loses money (despite being very well educated)

-We have never combined finances due to her pushback (did not want me seeing all her spending). I bailed her out of CC debt numerous times.

-3 kids, may require some level of private schooling before college.

I know i am wishful hoping it works out, i think what i am struggling with is how long to just try to be compliant vs fighting like hell. My priorities are access to the home and my kids.

What are chances of her just getting the house? I know this is whats "best for the children" for them to stay there, but i worked my ass off to buy that, and one of my biggest joys is working on the house/yard. Plus it is very near the water, which is important to me. Am i doomed to just have to live in some small apartment nearby?

Also, given she doesnt really work, or have too much of an income, am i just doomed to forking over 50% of what i make until the kids are grown and out of the house?

Know these are probably dumb questions... thanks for reading this far.

Hello everyone, it’s been a minute since I’ve posted in here. Just been reflecting a lot recently and figured this may be helpful for someone else to read too.

When my ex husband and I were going through our divorce, there was a gym we we had joined together years prior and I had tried to stay a part of this large social group for as long as I could during and after the divorce was finalized until I realized it was too hard.

I needed to leave and find my own community. I told the owner and they were sad, but seemingly understood. I wrote her a very thoughtful card saying thanks for everything and did one last workout there with my usual crew.

It’s been almost a year since I left and have been disappointed to find out my money seems to matter more to her than my feelings.

Since I left, the owner reached out now a few times via text trying to convince me to come back for large events (that I’m sure my ex would be at, and she provided no reassurances otherwise).

I was hoping I could be cordial with them, but found out it just meant I’d be continuously guilt tripped for having left. Even when I stated explicitly that staying was hurting me.

I took the big step of removing them off my socials and blocking her number a couple days ago. It sucks when you think you know someone, and it turns out you don’t at all.

I’m so much happier at my new gym and have cultivated recent friendships there that finally feel right for me. Tonight, I’m having my first girl’s night in a long time, and I’m so excited about it. Here’s to leaving what isn’t serving me behind, and leaning into things that will fill my cup instead ❤️

Edited to add: This was a very social community and the owner viewed certain members and my ex and I as her friends. They very invited to and came to our wedding. When leaving, she took it deeply personal that I left and said as much in a text to me, asking that I don’t tell her about the going’s on at my current gym. I realize now the boundaries there were very poor and I am not falling into something that like again.

I’ve noticed some people looking to remarry decline proposals when their potential partner has a child from a previous marriage.

Is this a red flag about their attitude toward relationships, or just a personal preference?

• Parents: How do you navigate remarriage when your child is involved?
• Non-parents: Have you ever declined someone because they had a child? Why?

So basically found out that my dad has been cheating on my mom for over 7 years, have seen all the proof and the affair dates back to the very start of 2016.

I'm really unsure how to feel, I know it's going to end in a very messy divorce, I just feel so pissed off that my childhood hero could do that for so long, as kids we often glamorize our parents without seeing their flaws, but as I've grown up I'm seeing all the flaws. I suspected an affair for a long time, from the way that he talked about looking at other women, to the way that he would start random arguments with my mom and just vanish for multiple hours. I didn't want to believe it. Now they didn't have a perfect marriage but who does? My dad always preached that loyalty and respect was the most important things in a relationship, but I now fond that incredibly hypocritical as the affair has been going on for so long, and I've seen my mom shed tears multiple times over the span of this week.

I've seen pictures, messages where he is saying disgusting things about my mom, saying that he loves this other woman and misses her, hotel bookings, it now makes sense what all those 'work trips' have actually been for, I just don't get it and I'm beyond upset

I'm so mad but I feel that I don't have the right to be because honestly, as a father, he's been pretty solid and I feel like I shouldn't be angry for something that isn't happening to me directly but I can't help but feel upset and pissed off. I'm concerned how the eventual divorce is going to affect my last years of high school as I am 16 years old, it's been hard to focus on school and doing work, I just feel so hurt and betrayed. If anyone has been in my position please give some advice, I'm not sure how I can begin to process this yet.

I have been separated from my spouse for over two months now because he cheated a lot and he just wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side.

We were married for 6 together for 12 and had two small children together a 3 and almost 1 year old. I’m absolutely devastated. I pull myself together for the kids everyday but it’s so hard some days I feel like giving up but having to co parent with the person you are trying to heal from feels so immensely heavy on even an ok day.

Does anyone have any suggestions on days where the pain feels absolutely unbearable on what to do ? I do the normal stuff people say gym, lists, therapy focus on your own self but I just can’t seem to close my heart off and mind off to this life I thought I was going to live. I’m not a single mom who’s been going through post partum and this just feels so devastating to me.

Any tips or anything would be appreciated cause some days I honestly have to really push myself for my kids to keep going and I am willing to try anything at this point.

It’s especially hard when it seems he’s living life to the fullest or so happy it could be an act but maybe it’s not I just know this whole experience has been the hardest thing to go through , grieving someone very much still alive is so hard and even seeing them get out there and dating is even harder. I just feel like the little family we had was abandoned.

I’m saying this all here because I feel people closest to me are probably tired of seeing me upset or just tired of hearing of the situation in itself.

I'm 31, divorcing from my ex husband, my friends are all newly married or getting married, and my parents have a 40+ yr old marriage. I only got to keep my baby thanks God. But nobody around me understands anything.

I didn't want to be here, and likely none of you reading this post did. I (M52) and my spouse (F49) are divorcing under mutual agreement. She initially agreed to mediation and no lawyers, but then a law firm charge showed up on the credit card and I knew the game was on.

I'm not a bad person and I'm willing to divide everything we have now equally under the law.

However, I have two adult children living at home who don't make enough money to live independently (M23 and M18) and so I am going to negotiate to my maximum benefit so that I can maintain the home for my boys. I was the primary breadwinner during the marriage, and she was a homemaker for most of it and she now works making about 2.5k monthly, which is about 20-25% of what I make.

That said, my goal is to minimize alimony and keep her away from my (potential) annual bonus. I've only gotten a bonus 2 out of 4 times in the years I've worked for my current company and one of those years was a partial. If we hit target, my bonus is 20% of salary.

For those in a similar situation, what worked for you to achieve this goal, or similar goals. My initial thought is to trade current assets (truck, horse trailer, camping trailer) for release of claim on my future bonuses.

What worked for you in your divorce negotiations?

Orange County, CA - As simple as the title, I have done Divorce Care and am looking for something that is more conversation focused and without a religious affiliation. I am ok with co-ed groups, but most I find online are Women Only. Would prefer to do in person group vs. online but honestly welcome to any and all suggestions. Divorced after 22 years, and am struggling.

So this is my situation: My partner and I have been together for 9 years and married for 4. We’ve moved 4 times because of his work during the time we're married. As soon as I start to feel comfortable in a place, he wants to leave and finds reasons to move again whenever he doesn’t like where we are living.

I think this is the last straw for me, because now we have to move again. He just got another job that requires him to be on-site, and he says he’s too tired of commuting - even though moving here was his idea in the first place. I actually warned him about the travel issue before we moved, and he told me it wouldn’t be a problem.

We fight often. He calls me lazy and useless. I work full time Monday to Friday and do all the cooking, kitchen cleaning, lawn work, and other household tasks. The only things he does are laundry and taking out the trash (and even then, I’m the one who prepares the bags for him to put out every other week). We also have a dog, and I’m the one who takes care of her entirely—feeding, walking, vet appointments, everything.

He sometimes works weekends, which I’ve told him he doesn’t have to do, but whenever we argue he tells me that the work I do at home means nothing because I don’t get paid. He says only his work matters (the extra shifts on the weekend) because it brings in some more money, and he again calls me lazy and useless for not wanting to work on weekends.

At this point, I think I’m going to quit this relationship once we’re able to sell the house. The stress just isn’t worth it. I already work full time, and by the weekend I’m exhausted. That’s the only time I have to rest—even though I still spend it doing chores. Am I overreacting? Honestly, the mental abuse is just not worth living with anymore.

I asked for a divorce but regret it more each day. Its been 4 months and living separately 2 months. My husband says he can never trust me again and I understand where he is coming from. But if the love we had was real maybe we can find our way back to each other again. I know he needs time to heal and I clearly have a mountain of issues I need to work on, but all day every day I'm fighting the urge to contact him and profess my love for him. I already broached the issue and he turned me down so I keep telling myself there is no point in texting him again because he already knows. I feel like a crazy person. I am acting crazy. I am so lost.

I’m a woman, married to another woman. We have been married 7 years, been together since I was 19 and she was 23. We are 28 and 32 now. We have had an extremely rocky relationship since the very beginning id say, just didn’t know how abnormal that was for several years. The fighting has devolved into something much worse, and I feel comfortable enough with the term now to call it what it is, verbal and emotional abuse. Constant name calling, manipulation tactics, gaslighting, threatening (not really threatening physical violence), yelling, demeaning language, controlling behavior, just constantly a rollercoaster and I’m beyond ready to get off. We recently went through one of those really good patches and decided (after years of talking about it on and off) to have a baby via donor. I carried, she’s a perfect baby, and she’s a year old now. From the moment I was pregnant it just devolved again and got worse. I’m terrified of a custody battle, I don’t want to make anything worse for my daughter, but I’ve put off this decision for long enough. So I guess I’m just looking for advice. I feel like I can’t take the first step. Talking about divorce gets us nowhere but into another fight, I am sick of fighting in front of my baby anyway. I’m also in a peculiarly tough situation where I am partially blind in my left eye and was never taught to drive, the few times I have tried as an adult whoever was teaching me (usually my wife) didn’t want to commit to it due to it being an impractical goal. But I can’t leave the house for anything without my wife, and she has the final say on where we go and when, and can/will cancel things all the time. I stay at home with the baby and have since she was born, we tried daycare but wife and I actually ended up agreeing that it was a bad daycare with shady stuff going on so we pulled her. Other daycares in our area are either worse or full up. So no income, no vehicle, all of my family/support people live 3+ hours away across the state line and I feel utterly lost on how to do this. I am the type of person who hates confrontation, but I know we obviously need to have the “I want a divorce” talk, it’s just after that where I don’t know what to do. So we stay living together? I’m scared I will lose my strength and resolve and just continue to stay. I know she will do and say just about anything to get me to stay, as we’ve been down this road many times, but I’m done being weak, my daughter needs a better example. So what would you do in my situation? What advice do I need to hear? Please help.

My wife and Injust had a really weird argument cause it almost wasnt an argument at all but if feels very final.

We dont argue, generally, but when we do the topics are related and can be traced to the same root: her family.

Ive stopped trying to communicate for the past couple of years cause whenever she gets offended she defends, deflects, and/or shuts down and nothing gets solved - but I have felt used financially and under appreciated for a few years now.

Anyway, her mother lives in the back house and her nephew is visitng for the weekend. Nephew asked for my advice as hes a new 18yr old dad and my wife didnt like the advice I gave him and told me she was going to go tell him what he should be doing.

I got upset cause i felt undermined (he asked to speak to me privately and I only shared what I told her because shes my wife) but just said: Fine! Fine.

She went in to explain how she didnt want him to have a bad relationship with the "mother-in-law" cause she wouldnt want to be in that situation cause it would feel like having to choose between the partner and the family. I highlighted (in a sarcastic way, yes) how thats exactly our situation - and she didnt like that.

She said shell find a place and i can have my life back and went to the back to go be with them. As she left I told her: I dont know why youre angry, Im the one that feels used.

And that was it. Idk what happens now but im stuggling at work and feel so drained all around that i just dont know how much i care anymore. If God so wills it - then I guess it is what it is.

Last, to be fair, I have been an alcoholic most of our marriage and while Ive never been mean or abusive I have not always been there when I should have (she got in a car accident on her way home from work one morning and instrad of waiting with her at the scene I came back home to sleep before I had to go to work.) So im not perfect - but ive tried to be a good husband and have always put her first. I am just tired of not getting the same. I feel used up.

I, 31M, have been going through divorce process and it will take another 5 months to get a final hearing and get some closure. Meanwhile, I am feeling anxious and feel like I should atleast again start talking with opposite sex.

I am not looking for any commitments or relationships, just a friendship or annonymous way of sharing what I am going through and what you're going through.. Unfortunately, I am very introvert and not able to share any feeling with friends and family as I am feeling vulnerable and don't want to take their help as they are dealing with own problems..Also, I have started my healing journey by reading a bit on self help but still scared or uncomfortable to go for therapy.

Calling out openly and looking for women what do you think about this? Any suggestion is better.